It was a single word, but it carried so much meaning. They weren’t lovers from different sides of the track. They weren’t Romeo and Juliet—although thank God for that, considering how that ended. But her last name hung over them like a lead weight held up by a fraying rope. Someday, it was going to come down and land on them, no matter how hard they both wanted to ignore it. She may not be doing anything illegal, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t tainted.
What saved everything from going straight to shit was the fact that they’d been upfront and honest with each other since the beginning. They didn’t lie to each other. Ever. It was the one rule that Gina needed people to keep, especially after what had happened that had led to her getting that awful nickname in high school. It had taken years to trust a man after that.
Ford pulled away and fastened the top button of his jeans, his gaze shifting over to the box before he spoke again. “Gina…”
She hated the way he’d just said her name. “Ford, stop. It’s probably just a surprise gift for when the house renovations are done. Paul and Rocco like to do little things like that. It’s nothing that should change this.” She reached out and put her hand on his chest above his heart. “I trust you. I need you to trust me, too.”
He glanced up from the box, then back down again before bringing the full force of his attention to her. “I do.”
“Good, then we don’t have anything to worry about,” she said with more cheer than she felt at the moment, but so determined to make the best of what could be a weird situation when everything between them was so new. “I’ll be done by eight. You want to meet up after?”
“Sure.” He gave her a quick kiss. “Let’s grab a beer at Marino’s.”
The nerves making her heart beat in a jerky pattern calmed, and she let out the breath she’d been holding. “Sounds perfect. I’ll see you then.”
He gave her a wink and walked out of the kitchen, giving her a perfect view of his ass as he did so. Damn. The man’s ass was truly a thing of beauty. How had this happened to her? From Kiss Cam to flirty kisses in her kitchen and so much more upstairs, her life—an undateable’s life—had taken a turn for the much better, and she promised herself that she’d enjoy the ride for as long as it lasted.
By the time Gina walked into Marino’s, she wasn’t humming any more.
Her newest clients didn’t know what they wanted to do for their pre-engagement party, but they sure didn’t want to do any of the eight million things that Gina had proposed. Some days, clients were the absolute worst.
She had to scan the crowd a few times before she spotted Ford in the back of the bar near the dartboards. He was standing with a bunch of guys that she could tell were cops even from across the room. There was just something about their stance, the way they scanned the crowd with suspicion, that gave them away in an instant. Of course, the fact that Marino’s was one of the most popular cop bars in Waterbury made it a pretty solid bet that almost everyone in here either had a badge or wanted someone with one.
Just as she started toward the dartboards, Ford turned. She knew the moment he spotted her, and her step faltered in response to the uptick in her pulse and the way her bra suddenly felt way too tight. He started toward her, and she forced herself to keep walking, although swooning kinda seemed like a possibility. Good Lord, what was happening to her?
Oh Regina, you are in so much trouble.
She pushed the thought away to the very darkest back corner of her mind, determined to enjoy the limited time with Ford while she could.
“Hey there,” Ford said when they met at the halfway point. “It was starting to feel like you were never going to get here. How were the happy couple?”
She rolled her eyes. “Pains in my ass.”
He laughed. “Then that means you need a beer immediately. Why don’t you sit here, and I’ll go grab us some?”
“That sounds phenomenal.” Almost as good as getting to sit down next to Ford. “I’m gonna dip into the ladies’ room, but I’ll meet you back here.”
The walk to the bathroom was a short one, but Marino’s was crowded. She maneuvered around people, but with each step she couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone was watching her, judging her—and finding her lacking. It made her skin crawl and her breaths come in faster and faster bursts. The free-floating anxiety reminded her of all the times she’d walked down the halls in school and heard the whispers and giggles behind her back. She tried to shake it off, but her anxiety just responded with a fuck-you that made her lungs pinch.
Maybe it was just a side effect of having the last name Luca and walking into a cop bar, but her skin was burning by the time she finally made it into the blessedly empty restroom.
She rushed into one of the stalls and shut the door behind her, shoving the lock in place. Only then could she finally take a deep breath. All of this time spent with Ford, waiting for the other shoe to drop, was really starting to get to her.
The outside door to the restroom swung open, letting in the sound of the band warming up in the main bar.
“Oh my God, did you see her?” a woman said. “I wonder if he lost a bet. You know how the guys in that squad are always pulling pranks.”
“That at least makes sense. I mean, there’s no way he’d pick her over you, Patrice,” a second woman responded.
“I mean really, how do you even kiss someone when their nose is that big?” the first woman asked. “I wonder if it gets in the way during blow jobs.”
The sound of the women’s giggling filled the bathroom as Gina stood in the stall and prayed that they weren’t talking about her, even though she knew in her gut they were.
“Oh well,” the first woman said. “It’s Ford’s loss.”
“I second that.”
The door squeaked again, and the sound of the band filled the bathroom before the door swung shut. Gina stayed in the stall, strangely calm. This was familiar ground. Really, she was past due for a reminder of the way the world worked. She’d spent the past month in a kind of Ford-shaped cocoon and had forgotten just what the real world was like for the women who didn’t fit into the mold of what society found acceptable.
She and Ford were never going to work out. They’d both known that from the beginning, which is why they’d promised each other not to think it was more than it was. Too bad she’d fucked that up by falling for him.
She opened the stall door and walked to the sink and, as she washed her hands, she considered the situation. The best parts of her day had become the moments she spent with him, laughing over things that probably no one else would find funny. Seeing him had become something that helped get her through a bad meeting with a client or the bad news of a renovation estimate increase from Juan. She looked at herself in the mirror under the unflattering-even-if-you’re-a-supermodel florescent bathroom light, and the truth was written all over her face.
“You idiot,” she told her reflection. “You love him.”
Ugly girls from mobbed-up families like her should know better than to fall for hot cops like Ford Hartigan. It never ended well—and end it had to.
Mind made up, she walked out of the bathroom with her chin high. If anyone was watching as she made her way over to Ford, she didn’t notice and didn’t care. Fuck them. She was leaving.
“Everything okay?” Ford asked as he handed her a beer.
“I need to go home.” She set the beer down on the table and pushed it over to his side. “Sorry.”
“Okay.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “I’ll drive, and we can swing back by and pick up your car in the morning.”
“No.” Dammit, her chin started trembling. She needed to get out of here. “I need to go by myself. I’ll talk to you later.”
She rushed out of Marino’s, the warm late-spring air hitting her as soon as she walked out onto the sidewalk. Of course, it meant her hair was going to frizz immediately, but that didn’t matter. Not anymore.
The bar door swung open behind her and Ford marched out, heading straight for her.
“What happened? Did I do something to piss you off?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She took in a shaky breath. “I just need to go home.”