“You’re one of us now. Sorry how it went down, but you’re one tough bitch.”
The scuffling of shoes sounds on the floor behind Grady. I tense up immediately, having not previously known someone else was in the room. I can’t see anyone, but I know they’re there. My nerves are on edge, and my hands are shaking. I shove them under my legs to try to control my stupid response. I don’t want to be like this forever, unnerved so easily and quick to panic. Grady seems to notice. Before he can say anything, I excitedly blurt out, “I ate soup!”
He smirks, and a few muted laughs echo in the room. He’s taken up so much of my line of sight that I forgot Holly, Nic, and Duke are in the room with us. I want to crawl into a hole to hide my embarrassment.
“One tough bitch,” Grady reaffirms with a nod. “Only gonna say this once because I’m no pussy, but I’m high as fuck off new-baby smell.”
“Does Sterling Grady have baby rabies?” I hear Nic chide and then laugh through a covered mouth. She used to fear him, but I guess seeing him hold her daughter gives her a comfort she didn’t previously feel.
“Well, he better, because now I have baby rabies,” Holly says without shame. Jeez. She used to be pretty closed-off about these things, but a few months in this man’s bed and she’s as bad as me with blurting shit out left and right.
“Can’t get far if you’re waddling,” Duke says. I lift my head and catch the wink he sends Nic. “More babies you pop out, less chance you have of going anywhere.”
“Fuck you,” Nic says. “Our kid is a week old. You want a fucking baby factory, you better look at someone else. Don’t know how you’d manage it, though, without your dick attached to your body.” Nic’s angry rant exhausts her. She rounds the table and plops down in Duke’s lap despite her chastising of him.
“No spinning, babe,” he whispers into her ear, and she settles against his chest. Fuck. These people are so happy together and there’s a baby here and she’s perfect, and despite how goddamn ruined I am, I don’t feel totally out of place. I know for a fact that three of the people in the room have taken a life, committed multiple felonies, and regret none of it. And then there’s Nic. I don’t know too much about what she went through, but I know she understands me. The fact that these are now my people should have me blacking out with panic, but it doesn’t. I’ve spent too long wanting to be a part of Ian’s world to try to run once I’m finally being welcomed into it.
I try to keep my eyes on Grady’s, but it’s too hard. I lift my gaze over his shoulder to the wall behind him and gasp. It’s like Ian knew I was thinking about him. He’s leaning against the wall, his tense eyes fixed on the back of Grady’s head and his lips set in a flat line. He’s practically boring a hole into his sergeant-at-arm’s skull, so focused on the man in front of me that it’s almost like I’m not even here. I don’t know what I want from him, not really, but it would be nice if he would look at me. I miss his eyes. Not the ones I see now, but the ones that stare at me in silence while I blabber on about one thing or another. I even miss the sorrow in his eyes when I’m panicking.
“What happened is a result of a Forsaken fuckup. We failed to protect our women, and because of that, those bastards went after Nic. I can’t make this better for you, and it’s not fucking right—not at all—but it happened. If Nic had been there . . .”
Grady stops talking, and I shift my attention back to him. I know what he’s trying to say, but he can’t seem to bring himself to say it—if I hadn’t been covering for Nic that night, it would have been her they hurt. And Robin wouldn’t be with us now. This poor, innocent, sweet little baby with her entire life before her wouldn’t have survived their vile hatred.