He nodded and headed towards the kitchen. Sam dragged her fingers through her hair, hoping he had a brush, knowing the odds weren’t in her favor. She flicked the light in the bathroom on and turned around to stare at herself in the mirror. Her eyes widened at the reflection that stared back at her.
Her hair was, well a wild mess, didn’t even seem to describe it right. It was a disaster. She would need at least a half a bottle of conditioner to get all the tangles out. Thanks Nick, she thought. She sighed and took in the rest of her appearance. Her cheeks were rosy and there was a certain glow to her face. She supposed it was the effects of a woman who was well sexed throughout the night and into the morning.
She braced her hands on the counter and leaned closer to get a better view. Could it be? She wondered. The woman looking back at her didn’t only look satisfied she looked happy and well… she looked loved. Sam swallowed, startled that she allowed her mind to think those thoughts. She turned around, having enough of the truth that stared back at her. Time to go back to my bubble, she thought, the bubble where love couldn’t touch her, or break her heart.
She could feel the panic attack begin to take shape inside her. She started to feel as if the walls were closing in on her. The only thing that she kept replaying in the back of her head was the phone conversation she had overheard when they were in Atlantic City. Nick was not a sure thing. He would crush her heart without even trying. She didn’t think he would intentionally ever hurt her. No, in his mind, he would be doing the right thing, by leaving her. He’d think he wasn’t good enough or that she deserved better and there wouldn’t be a damn thing she’d be able to do to change his mind.
She threw her head into her hands and felt like she was going to fall to the floor in a puddle of tears. The truth was that she and Nick together in a relationship was a beautiful fleeting thing. They would never last though; it just wasn’t in the cards. She had survived her broken heart once, but she’d never survive it again. There was only one thing she could do, to save the both of them a lot of pain and angst. She needed to end what was happening between them and she needed to end it now. It wasn’t just physical. She had been lying to herself when she had said that it was. She crossed that line last night or maybe she crossed it the first night she had sex with him.
Tears fell from her eyes, unable to hold onto them any longer. There was a knock and she glanced at the wooden door, with regret and sadness.
“Sam? You okay?” Nick asked from the other side.
Sam couldn’t find her voice and Nick opened the door, a concerned look etched across his masculine features. He stepped towards her, reaching out with his forefinger, he tilted her chin up. The tears spilled from the corners of her eyes as she met his gaze.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. She thought she saw alarm in his eyes.
She looked down at her bare feet because she couldn’t bring herself to look into his face.
“I can’t do this anymore, Nick.” She whispered as her words tore her heart into shreds.
“What?” He asked incredulously. How was it that she went from hot to cold so damn fast? Was she really doing this after the night they had just shared? Of course she was, because that was typical of her. The minute he made any progress with her, the minute he thought he was reclaiming his past was the minute she flicked the switch. He felt as if he was spinning in circles.
“Look at me.” He demanded and when she didn’t lift her head immediately he cupped her chin and lifted her head. “The least you can do is look me in the eye.” He said coldly. He couldn’t help his tone. She had him in knots. He ignored the tears that fell from her eyes. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because if I don’t, I will fall in love with you.” She answered honestly and drew in a shaky breath as she stared into his eyes. They softened at her words, and the broken pieces of her heart, shattered a bit more. “Please just trust me, that, no good would come from me falling in love with you.” She shook her head sadly. “No good at all.”
“I never expected you to be such a coward.” He said flatly and dropped his hand from her face. He ran his hand over his head and contemplated her words. He leaned against the wall and stared at her. She wiped at her cheeks with the backs of her hands.
“Nick, I didn’t plan this. I didn’t come here last night…”