He doesn’t say a word and as the laughter turns to sobs, he shifts around me and lowers his body to the floor. His legs frame around my rocking body and his strong arms wrap around me tightly. His silence continues as he tightens his hold. He doesn’t speak, just lets me lose it in his arms. When I finally calm, he moves us both so that I’m sitting across his lap. His arms come back around me, one going around my middle and pulling me in close. His other arm comes up, hand moving to cradle my face and press me against his chest.
Turning my head, I take a deep choppy breath and let his scent fill my senses. That warm intoxicating blend of wooded pines and leather. All Liam. It fills my head and when I let the air back out, I feel a small sliver of control come back over me.
Almost as if his hold alone gave me some of his strength.
“Molly?”
“Nate’s got her, baby,” he mutters.
“I’m sorry,” I exhale.
“Far as I can tell Megan, that was a long time coming.”
“Yeah,” I confirm.
“Want to tell me what brought that on?”
I don’t want to, but after today—him giving me a day of carefree fun—I feel like I owe him something. Maybe, just maybe, if I let him in just a little he will understand why I’m absolutely no good for him.
“I’ve . . . I . . . God. I thought that if Molly just had me she would be safe.”
His arms jerk, but he doesn’t speak.
Pushing my head closer to his body, I take that strength, that safety that his body gives me, and continue, “I never wanted her to know what it feels like to miss someone. Know the pain that comes when part of you dies. That’s what Jack was, part of me, of us. She was too young to understand or feel that loss. I guess I’ve been living in a bubble. Keeping her wrapped tight with me so that we would never have to depend on someone else for our happiness.”
“Darlin’ you aren’t living.”
“We are,” I sigh, “We have each other. But yeah, we—no, I—haven’t been.”
“And how well is that going, Megan?”
I pull my head up and look at him, really look at him. His eyes hold no sympathy, just empathy. He isn’t judging me. As I look into his handsome face, all I see is his understanding, but also his searching gaze boring into my own as if he’s trying to communicate something without words.
He’s letting me lead.
And if the way his heart is racing against my body is any indication, his holding back right now is costing him.
“She needs this,” I confess.
“Yeah, baby, she does, but so do you.”
I nod my head and his eyes go soft. His hand moves from where it fell when I shifted to look at him and his other comes from between our bodies. His warm hands take my face and his reverent hold and the tender look in his eyes, causes me to close my eyes.
“Look at me, Megan.”
I shake my head.
“Darlin’,” he says as his breath dances across my lips. “You need to look at me.”
“Why?” I murmur.
“So you can see.”
His thumb moves, the pad of his finger running along my jaw. He waits, giving me a few breaths. My eyes slowly open and when I look into his face, just inches from my own, his eyes are burning with an emotion I’ve never seen directed at me.
I’ve seen it before and the knowledge of what he’s trying to communicate with just that searing gaze, makes my heart leap in my chest before beating so violently it feels like it might break right out of my body. This is a look of complete affection. Tenderness that I’ve seen a million times since Cohen pulled me into his world. It’s one that Cohen is often giving Dani. But right now, coming from Liam, it’s mixed with the hunger that is simmering just beneath the surface, his simple look has turned into something I’ve never experienced, but always wanted and made me yearn to see it a million times over.
A look that no matter how much Jack loved me—it was only a love of friendship and never, not once, a look that made me feel like I was the only person he ever saw.
I gasp, my thoughts feeling like nothing short of a betrayal to his memory.
“You feel it.”
My eyes widen and I don’t move. Not confirming physically, but giving him that regardless with my silence.
“Yeah, baby.” His forehead drops against mine and his eyes stay locked with my own. “You’ve given that angel everything she needs, Megan. She doesn’t lack love, but she has so much to give. She doesn’t understand loss, but she will. You can’t keep that from her no matter how hard you try. It’s part of life. All you can do is be there for her when it inevitably happens. And as hard as this is for you, you have to know that she needs to experience all of the ups and all of the downs that life has. She. Needs. To. Live.”
He stops, brings one of his hands from where it was resting lightly against my neck and wipes the tear that had rolled from my wide eyes.
“There is no doubt in my mind that you have been doing the best you can. You protected her while you have been protecting yourself, but it’s time to step out of that bubble and let yourself feel. Live. You both need this, not just her. You’ve watched her this past year, Megan. When everyone is around, that little girl lights up. So much love to give. She gives it freely and eagerly. Not one person she comes around isn’t affected by that smile.”