“I’ve tried to tell you that this lifestyle is full of fucking secrets and lies. It’s time you started listening to me.”
“Just because something’s been a certain way forever doesn’t mean it can’t be changed. I don’t expect everything to change, I get it, but this shit between you and Dad needs to be talked about. You need to talk; it must be eating you up inside. I know it would be eating away at me.”
“You and I are different people, Madison. I chose this way of living when I married your father. I knew what I was getting myself into. What you’ve got with J appears to be different. I hope for your sake it is because otherwise he and the club will fucking eat you alive.”
Fuck.
“So, you’re telling me that you knew Dad was going to cheat on you? And did he hit you before you married him?” I was so confused; I just could’t imagine marrying a man like that.
She went quiet and took a minute before answering. “He did cheat on me before we married.” She paused when she saw the look of disbelief cross my face. “You’ve got to understand that kind of thing was common; it still is in this life. You know that.”
“I might know that but there’s no way I’d ever marry a man who cheated on me, Mum.”
She nodded. “I know that. And that does make me happy. I just hope that J never goes there.”
“Well, if he does, he won’t have a dick left to do it again. Not after I get to him.”
Mum laughed, and it was the best sound I’d heard all morning. It broke the tension a little. “I’ve missed you, honey,” she said quietly.
My tone softened. “I’ve missed you too, Mum.”
She pointed to the stool at the kitchen bench. “Have a seat and I’ll make you a coffee.”
Smiling, I said, “That would be good.”
I sat, and she made coffee. We then spent the next couple of hours catching up and doing our best to avoid the topic of my father. I desperately wanted to talk to her about him some more, but I knew not to push her. If I did, she would retreat and start avoiding me. No, I needed to be smart about this and figure out a way to help her without her realising what I was doing.
***
I pulled up outside the clubhouse and sat in my car for a couple of minutes, processing some of the stuff my Mum had told me. She had willingly married a man who cheated on her. I was having trouble getting past that; it wasn’t something I could do. My thoughts moved to J and our relationship. I trusted him. He’d proven himself and I truly believed he wouldn’t cheat on me.
I was startled out of my thoughts when someone tapped on the window of my car. Looking up, I saw it was J. “Hey, baby,” I greeted him, as I got out of the car.
He brushed his lips across mine and asked, “You okay?”
“Yeah. Kind of.” I wasn't sure what I was feeling.
“What does kind of mean?”
I sighed. I wasn’t sure why I’d come here after Mum’s. Looking up at J though, I realised that I’d come for him. “It means that just being here with you is making me feel better already.”
His eyebrows pinched together and he frowned. “Babe, I’m a man. I need it spelt out for me sometimes. What the fuck’s wrong?”
“J, you don’t have the time to listen to all the shit swimming around in my head. I think I just needed to be near you.”
“For the love of God, tell me what’s wrong.”
I searched his eyes; he had that concerned look he got when I was distressed. So, I decided to share. “I just spent some time with my Mum and she told me that she married my father knowing that he’d cheated on her. And she accepted it.”
He didn’t blink; didn’t say or do anything. Just stood there, watching me and listening. When I didn’t say anything else, he murmured, “It happens.”
“It shouldn’t!” I burst out.
“Madison, you know it happens.”
“Yeah, well I’m stunned that my own mother put up with that shit.”
“I’m not.”
I didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “Did you know about my father before it all came out?”
Again, he took his time, and when he finally answered me, he spoke slowly, deliberately. “I didn’t know about Blade and his mother.” He paused. “But I did know that Marcus liked to screw around.”
My heart started beating faster. I didn’t like what I was hearing. “What? You mean with other women besides Blade’s mother?”
He nodded. “Yeah, with other women. He didn’t hide it and I’m sure your mother knew. Babe, a lot of the guys fuck around; it’s just up to the old ladies whether they turn a blind eye or move on.”
“I know!” I puffed out a long breath. I knew all this shit, and normally I didn’t even think about it, but this was my Mum we were talking about. “I fucking hate it, J, and if you do it, I’m not staying.”
His nostrils flared and his tone hardened when he spoke. “Have I ever given you cause to think I’d cheat?”