“Just a bad headache. Ryan came and asked if there was any way to find Roz. Christian has sent out people, but Piers is too good.”
The headaches again. Suddenly he was eager to see her. He would go to her, talk to her, maybe even beg her to give him a chance. Then he would go back and see Raphael—tell him to stuff his offer up his angelic ass.
Tara rose to her feet. “I’ll never forgive you for what you did to Chloe. But I’d like to get to know you better.”
She turned and left and he let her go. That was more than he’d ever hoped for. A sense of peace settled over him. If Tara could give him a chance, he must be able to persuade Faith.
The angel issue wasn’t going away, but the Order would come up with something. And Faith would come to work with them. They’d continue on with the meetings. He felt a tingle of anticipation. The world was changing, and he was at the very center of it all.
“Shera?”
She appeared as if by magic.
“Where’s Faith?” he asked.
She led the way and he followed. They came to a halt in front of a door, and she turned. “The other human is with her.”
“Ryan?” A wave of irrational jealousy washed over him. He knew there had never been anything between Faith and Ryan. Her ex-partner was probably comforting her because Ash had been such an asshole. Well, Ash could take over from him now.
He tapped on the door and pushed it open without waiting for an answer. Then stepped into the room but came to an abrupt halt inside the door. Faith lay on the bed, a sheet pulled over her, her eyes closed. They didn’t open as he stood there, and a sense of foreboding filled him.
Ash dragged his gaze away to Ryan, who sat on a chair by the bed, one of Faith’s hands gripped in his. He glanced up to where Ash stood motionless by the door. “She’s dying.”
At first, Ash couldn’t take in the words. They made no sense. He strode across and stared down. Her skin was so pale, her lashes dark shadows on her cheeks.
“Faith?” he whispered her name, but there was no response. Panic clawed at his insides. Terror. Sinking down onto the bed, he dragged her into his arms, but still she didn’t wake.
He rested a palm flat against her breast. He could detect nothing and the panic threatened to spiral out of control. Then he felt the faintest of heartbeats.
“She lapsed into a coma about an hour ago.”
“And you did nothing?”
“What could I do? She told me there was no hope, no chance. I’ve asked if they can find Roz, but…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Faith didn’t want to be alone at the end.”
Ash’s heart cracked. That he hadn’t been there for her. Something occurred to him. “She knew this? That she was dying?”
Ryan nodded.
Ash had a flashback to earlier. When he’d been making his big declaration, revealing his feelings. He’d seen dismay cross her features, and he hadn’t understood it—he’d known she was coming to care for him.
He understood now.
She didn’t want his love because she knew she could offer him nothing. His mind searched for a way out. Death was inevitable for humans, but he thought he’d have time to come to terms with it. Or time to find an alternative—there were ways even for humans.
If you were willing to pay the price.
But not now. Not yet.
“Roz? We have to find her.”
“I already asked. Christian has sent out a message, but Piers is too clever. No one knows where they’ve gone. Until he makes contact, we can’t find them.”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Brain aneurysm. I told you she blacked out my last night on the job. Well, apparently it was a minor one and the doctors warned her there would be another.”
“And she told no one?”
“No.”
That had been what the headaches were about. He hadn’t thought to question her further. He’d believed them a sign of human frailty. There had to be a way to save her. He gathered her against him. She was warm. She couldn’t die.
“She told me to tell you that she doesn’t think you’re a monster,” Ryan said. “She believed it for the best, if you thought she didn’t care. But she was wrong. She wanted you to know that.”
Ash put her down gently and jumped to his feet. She couldn’t end like this. An idea was gnawing at the back of his mind. He tried to ignore it, but the notion grew until it was a roar in his head.
He realized that it had been easy to turn down Raphael’s offer. And the reason had everything to do with Faith. He couldn’t hide from that truth now.
If she died, did he really care what happened to Roz and the committee? Any of them? His mind veered away from thinking about Tara. That would only cloud the issue.
“There’s nothing you can do,” Ryan said.
Ash whirled on him in fury. “You know nothing of what I can and can’t do.”