That was a sobering thought.
"It's going to be fine," I said, this time putting some force into my voice, needing to believe the words. "But I'll be late if I don’t get going and that's so not what I need on my first day."
Giving my brother one last hug, I shrugged on my coat and grabbed my school bag, shouldering it onto my back, before heading for the staircase.
"You text me," Joey called out when I was halfway down the steps. "I’m serious, one sniff of crap from anyone and I'll come sort it out for you."
"I can do this, Joey," I whispered, casting a quick glance to where he was leaning against the bannister, watching me with concerned eyes. "I can."
"I know you can." His voice was low and pained. "I just…I'm here for you, okay?" he finished with a heavy exhale. "Always here for you."
This was hard for my brother, I realized, as I watched him wave me off to school like an anxious parent would their firstborn. He was always fighting my battles, always jumping in to defend me and pull me to safety.
I wanted him to be proud of me, to see me as more than a little girl that needed his constant protection.
I needed that for myself.
With renewed determination, I gave him a bright smile and then hurried out of the house to catch my bus.
2
Everything has Changed
Shannon
When I climbed off my bus, I was relieved to discover that the doors of Tommen College were opened to the students at 7 in the morning, obviously to accommodate the different schedules of the boarders and day walkers.
I hurried into the building to get out of the weather.
It was pouring rain outside, and in any other circumstance I might consider it a bad omen, but this was Ireland where it rained an average of 150 to 225 days out of the year.
It was also early January, typical rain season.
I discovered that I wasn’t the only early bird to arrive before school hours, noting several students already wandering through the halls and lounging in the lunch hall and common areas.
Yes, common areas.
Tommen College had what I could only describe as spacious living rooms for each year.
To my immense surprise, I discovered that I wasn’t the immediate target for bullies like I had been in every other school I had attended.
Students whizzed past me, uninterested in my presence, clearly caught up in their own lives.
I waited, with my heart, in my mouth for a cruel comment or shove to come.
It didn’t.
Transferring halfway through the year from the neighboring public school, I had been expecting a tirade of fresh taunts and new enemies.
But nothing happened.
Aside from a couple of curious glances, nobody approached me.
The students at Tommen either didn’t know who I was – or didn’t care.
Either way, I was clearly off the radar in this school and I loved it.
Comforted by the sudden cloak of invisibility surrounding me, and feeling more positive than I had in months, I took the time to look around the third-year common area.
It was a large, bright room with floor to ceiling windows on one side that looked onto a courtyard of buildings. Plaques and photographs of previous students adorned the lemon painted walls. Plush couches and comfy chairs filled the large space, along with a few round tables and matching oak chairs. There was a small kitchenette area in the corner with a kettle, toaster, and microwave.
Holy crap.
So, this was what the other side lived like.
It was like a different world in Tommen College.
An alternate universe to the one I came from.
Wow.
I could bring a few slices of bread and have tea and toast at school.
Feeling intimidated, I slipped out and wandered through every hall and corridor trying to get my bearings.
Studying my timetable, I memorized where every building and wing that I would have a class in was.
I was feeling pretty confident by the time the bell went at 8:50, signaling fifteen minutes before the start of the school day, and when I was greeted by a familiar voice, I came close to crying with sheer relief.
"Oh my god! Oh my god!" a tall, curvaceous blonde with a smile the size of a football pitch squealed loudly, drawing mine and everyone else's attention, as she barreled through several groups of students in her bid to reach me.
I wasn’t nearly prepared for the monster hug I was enveloped in when she reached me, even though I should have expected nothing less from Claire Biggs.
Being greeted by actual smiling, friendly faces instead of what I was used to was overwhelming for me.
"Shannon Lynch," Claire half giggled, half choked out, squeezing me tightly. "You're actually here!"
"I'm here," I agreed with a small laugh, patting her back as I tried and failed to free myself from her lung-crushing embrace. "But I won't be for much longer if you don’t ease up on the squeezing."
"Oh, crap. Sorry," Claire laughed, immediately taking a step back and releasing me from her death hold. "I forgot you haven't grown since fourth class." She took another step back and looked me over. "Make that third class," she snickered, eyes dancing with mischief.
This wasn’t a dig; it was an observation and a fact.
I was exceptionally small for my age, dwarfed even further by my friend's 5'9 frame.
She was tall, athletically built, and exceptionally beautiful.
It wasn’t a demure form of beauty either.
No, it shot out of her face like sun beams.
Claire was simply dazzling with big, puppy dog brown eyes and ringlets of light blonde curls. She had a sunny disposition and a smile that could warm the coldest of hearts.
Even at four years old, I'd known this girl was different.
I could feel the kindness radiating out of her. I'd felt it as she stood in my corner for eight long years, defending me to her own detriment.
She knew the difference between right and wrong and was prepared to step in for anyone weaker than her.
She was a keeper.
We had drifted apart since going to separate secondary schools, but one look at her and I knew she was still the same old Claire.
"We can't all be beanpoles," I shot back good-naturedly, knowing her words were not meant to hurt me.
"God, I'm so glad you're here." She shook her head and smiled down at me. She did this adorable happy dance and then threw her arms around me once more. "I can't believe your parents finally did the right thing by you."
"Yeah," I replied, uncomfortable again. "Eventually."
"Shan, it won't be like that here," Claire's tone was serious now, eyes full of unspoken emotion. "All that shit you've suffered? It's in the past." She sighed again and I knew she was holding her tongue, refraining from saying everything she wanted to.
Claire knew.
She was there in primary school.
She witnessed how it was for me back then.
For some unknown reason, I was glad she hadn't seen how much worse it had gotten.
It was a humiliation I didn’t want to feel anymore.
"I'm here for you," she continued to say, "and Lizzie, too – if she ever decides to drag her ass out of bed and actually come to school."
Smiling brightly, I banished my demons to the back of my mind and said, "Here's to a fresh start."
"Yes, girl!" Claire said with keen enthusiasm, fist bumping me in the process. "A fresh start with the sunny side up."
The first half of the day went better than I could have ever anticipated. Claire introduced me to her friends, and while I couldn’t remember the names of most of the people I had met, I was incredibly grateful to be included and, I dared say, accepted.
Inclusion wasn’t something I was used to, and I found myself working hard to keep up with the constant flow of conversation and friendly questions aimed at me.