"You should have stopped things back then." He opened the door to the hall and we both stepped out into the rare afternoon sunshine. "You let it slide into January, Johnny."
"Yeah, well, I had a lot on my mind," I huffed, descending the steps. "And she finished it, so I have no bleeding clue why she won't just go away."
"You know why she won't go away, lad," Gibsie replied, nudging my shoulder as we strolled into the carpark.
I sighed heavily.
Yeah, I knew.
Fucking rugby.
"Can you promise me something?" he said then, as he pulled out his car keys and unlocked his shiny new Ford Focus.
"Yeah, lad," I sighed, slinging my bags into the boot of the car.
"Promise that you will never go back there, no matter how fucking tempting it is."
I balked at him. "Gibs, I wouldn’t go back there if she was the last girl on the bleeding planet."
He laughed at my response and climbed into the driver's seat.
"I'm serious," I told him, sinking into the passenger seat. "I wouldn’t touch that girl again if she was the only cure for my un-ejaculating dick –" I paused to fasten my seatbelt. "I would rather walk around for the rest of my life with blue balls and a shriveled cock than put my hands on her again. That’s how much she repulses me."
"Well, good for you." Gibsie cranked the engine. "Because that girl wants to tie your ass down so bad it's scary."
"There will be no tying me down to anyone," I shot back. "And especially not her."
He arched a brow. "You sure about that?"
"Just shut up and put your seatbelt on," I instructed, looking around for anything he could hurt. "And check your mirrors."
"Yes, Dad," Gibsie muttered, complying with my commands.
"Okay, you can go now – nice and slow," I told him when I was confident that he could pull out of his parking spot without causing grievous bodily harm – which he was quite capable of doing. "Slow, Gibs."
"Binding thirteen," Gibsie snickered as he tore off way too fucking fast for comfort. "Little Shannon blew that shit clean out of the water."
"Slow your ass down," I barked, resisting the urge to snatch the wheel. "And what the hell does binding thirteen mean?"
"You don’t know about that?"
I shook my head. "Obviously not since I'm asking you."
"That's what they say, lad," Gibsie explained.
"Who?" I demanded as I grabbed ahold of the Oh Jesus handle and threw a few Hail Mary's up to the man upstairs.
Don’t let this fucker kill me.
"The girls at school," he chuckled, pulling onto the main road without checking both ways, and narrowly avoiding a milk van. "That's what they say about you."
Oh, Jesus.
I was going to die in this car.
He was going to take my bleeding life.
Sheepishly saluting the milkman who was shaking his fist at us, I turned to glare at Gibsie.
"They call me binding thirteen?" I shook my head. "Why? I don’t get it."
"It's not what they call you," he corrected. "It's what they want to do with you."
"What?"
"You're number 13," he laughed. "And they want to bind with you." He turned to waggle his brows at me. "Scrum style."
"That is…so fucking creepy," I grumbled, shuddering. "Put your eyes on the road!"
"One hundred percent," Gibsie laughed, turning his attention back to the windscreen. "Claire told me about it last year. Said she overheard a bunch of sixth years talking about something called ‘Operation Binding Thirteen’ in the bathroom."
"Jesus Christ," I growled.
"Right around the time you started tapping Bella," he filled in. "Do the maths."
I didn’t have to.
I had already figured it out.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," I groaned.
"Yep," Gibsie agreed with a grimace. "Be glad you got out of that, Johnny. Be very fucking glad."
I was.
More than words could express.
"What am I going to do, Gibs?"
"About Shannon?"
I nodded glumly.
"Give in," he answered without hesitation.
"I can't," I croaked out.
"You can," he assured me. "You're just scared."
Yeah, I was scared.
I was fucking terrified of my feelings for her.
"I don’t even feel like I have a choice anymore," I confessed. "I am losing my bleeding mind, Gibs."
"Nah, your mind's still there," Gibsie chuckled, patting my shoulder. "It's your heart your losing, lad."
"Fuck," I choked out, biting down on my lip as sheer terror seized my chest.
"Yeppers," he agreed. "Terribly inconvenient, isn’t it?"
"I'll fucking say," I mumbled.
56
Loaded threats
Johnny
She didn’t come back to school on Thursday.
I knew this because I watched out for her in the hallways between all my classes.
She never showed.
It didn’t sit well with me, knowing there was a very big possibility Shannon was ditching school because of what happened in the lunch hall.
It didn’t sit well with me because I knew it was my fault.
I couldn’t concentrate for shit all day.
Every single lesson, word, and command went clear over my head, because I left my head with her.
Was she okay?
Was she mad at me?
Should I go over there?
Should I leave her alone?
I didn’t know.
And I didn’t even have her bleeding phone number to call and check.
We were breaking from school tomorrow for two weeks.
I had a match in Dublin tomorrow.
What if I didn’t see her before then?
What if she didn’t come back to school?
What the fuck was I going to do then?
Jesus Christ, I was losing my mind.
Using every ounce of self-control I had inside of me, I forced myself to push her out of my mind, as I headed out for training after school.
Because I didn’t need this – I didn’t need these feelings– fucking with my game.
"Are you with her?" Bella demanded when I reached the entrance of the P.E. hall after school, dragging me from my thoughts.
Shaking my head, I continued walking with every intention of ignoring her, but she grabbed my arm and hissed, "Answer me."
"Mind your own fucking business," I snapped, repressing the urge to shudder from her touch. "And stay out my life."
I needed her to not come near me today.
I was peppering with rage and my tongue wasn’t something I thought I could control if she pushed me.
"Answer the fucking question, Johnny," Bella hissed in a warning tone.
"And if I am?" I shot back, glaring down at her. "What's it to you?"
"Then you're a fucking idiot," she hissed, eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and anger. "Because that girl has virgin written all over her."
"It's not all about sex, Bella," I countered, wrenching my arm free. "And don’t put your hands on me again," I added, my tone laced with distain. "Your touch is not welcome."
"Not all about sex?" she sneered. "Ha. I'll give you a month with the frigit before you get bored and stray."
"I was bored of you after one night," I sneered.
"Then why did you keep coming back for more?" she demanded.
"Because I was lazy and you were as easy as they come." I lost my temper and hissed, "You were a phone call away, Bella – one quick text to wet my dick. That's all you ever were to me."
I was expecting the hand that wacked against my cheek.
I deserved a slap.
No girl deserved to be called easy, regardless of how true it was.
It was a low blow and one I found myself apologizing for.
"I didn’t mean that," I bit out. "That was a shitty thing to say."
"Yeah, Johnny, it was," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I know," I snapped, finding not an ounce of patience inside of me to deal with this girl. "That's why I said it was."
"Why are you being like this?" Bella asked, her tone taking on a softer hint. "Why are you being cruel to me?"
"I'm not being anything to you," I bit out. "I just want to get to training, and you're blocking my way."
"Because I want to talk to you," she countered hotly.
"We have nothing to say to each other, Bella," I told her with a shake of my head. "Not anymore."
"Did you see me?" she asked then, clearly baiting me. "With your teammate?"
"I don’t give two shites what you do with my teammates," I replied calmly.
"I don’t want him."
"That's your own business."
"I want you back."
"You can't have me back."
"Johnny."
"Bella."
"Come on!