It felt like a million years ago when I had sat out here after a nightmare and decided that Sutter Lake would be my home for the next little while. In reality, it had only been months. So much had changed, yet I found myself longing for how things used to be. Alone was the only state of being that was safe. I had now learned that lesson the hard way for the second time. I could have friends, but I couldn’t open my heart to create a family. The risks were too great.
The sliding door opened behind me, but I didn’t turn around. I kept sipping my drink, staring at my beautiful view and listening to the water below. Liam sat in the rocker next to mine. Only the sound of the bubbling creek filled the air as we rocked.
Eventually, Liam blew out a long breath. “I’m sorry I laughed.” I said nothing in return. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”
I turned, looking at Liam for the first time since he’d sat down. “First, why don’t you tell me why you’re here. Aren’t you supposed to be recording an album right now?”
A muscle in his cheek ticked, and he took a pull of the beer he had apparently helped himself to. “Some news is about to break that will send every blood-sucking paparazzi in a thousand-mile radius to my doorstep, so I thought it would be good to get out of LA for a while. Go someplace no one would expect to find me.”
I studied Liam’s face, a pang of guilt hitting me in the belly. He looked awful. He hadn’t shaved in days, and dark circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes. “Everything okay?” I knew it wasn’t, but I hoped he’d open up if I asked outright.
He tilted his head back, staring at the crystal-blue sky. “Not really. And it doesn’t help that I have an album due in a couple months and haven’t written anything decent in almost a year.” His head came back down so that he was again staring out at the horizon. “I think it’s time for a change of scenery. Do you think I could stay a while? Maybe this place will inspire me.”
“You can stay as long as you want. But to be honest, I was thinking of going back to LA.”
Liam’s head snapped in my direction. “You just told me that you had fallen in love with someone. And now you’re saying you want to go back to LA?”
It was my turn to stare out at the horizon. “It’s complicated.”
“Is he married?”
I scooped a piece of ice from my glass and pelted it at Liam. “No, you ass. You know I don’t mess around like that.”
He shrugged. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
My chest squeezed at that painful reminder. “I don’t want my heart to want anyone. Or anything.”
“Tay,” he said softly. I refused to look at him, not wanting to see the pity in his eyes. He grabbed hold of one of my hands and gripped it tightly. My eyes shot to his. “It doesn’t work that way.”
“I’m not strong enough.”
Liam squeezed my hand fiercely. “You are one of the strongest people I know.” I bit my bottom lip hard to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. I wasn’t strong, I was a fucking wimp. I didn’t want the possibility of any more pain inflicted on my heart. Liam sighed, recognizing the doubt in my eyes. “Tell you what, why don’t we get wasted, and you can tell me all about this love of yours that has you wanting to run for the hills?”
A snort escaped me. I’d definitely need lots of alcohol if I was going to talk about Walker for any length of time. “I’m in.” Maybe Liam could show me a way out of the mess I’d gotten myself into. At the very least, the alcohol might numb the pain. I stood. “We need shots.”
Liam’s eyes widened. “Shit, this must be one hell of a story.”
“You have no idea.”
39
Walker
“You aren’t seriously bringing a mug of coffee into my tea shop, are you?” Jensen’s voice rang out over the handful of early-morning customers at The Tea Kettle.
I took a long sip from my travel mug and grinned. I was not a tea drinker. I needed a strong hit of caffeine in the morning. Jensen rounded the counter, leaving Tessa to help the customers in line. She shook her head as she walked towards me. “Some supportive big brother you are.”
I ruffled her hair before she could duck out of my hold. “Hey, now, I buy your baked goods.”
“True,” she admitted. “Is that what you’re here for now? A nice scone?” she asked, arching a brow at me.
I shuffled my feet absentmindedly. “I just wanted to come and check up on my baby sister.” It was a total and complete lie, and she knew it.
Jensen ushered me forward with a wave of her hand. “Come on, I’ll grab us breakfast, and we can eat in my office and catch up.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. My sister was a good one. She knew I needed her advice about something, and she wasn’t going to make me beg. “Sounds good. I’d take one of those ham and cheddar scones if you got ‘em.” They were the best.
Jensen grinned over her shoulder. “I think I can scrounge something up.”
I headed to the office while Jensen ducked behind the bakery case. Pushing open the door, I crossed to one of the worn, overstuffed chairs in the corner. The office fit the mismatched quality of the rest of The Tea Kettle. Nothing was an identical set, yet somehow it still worked.
Jensen bustled in moments later with a selection of biscuits, cakes, and scones. I rubbed my hands together. “Looks delicious, Little J.”
“Thanks,” she said with a small smile. Jensen had worked so hard to make this place a success, and I was damn proud of her. “So, what has my big brother walking into my tea shop before seven a.m.?”
The mouth-watering bite of scone I had just swallowed suddenly turned to lead in my stomach. “Taylor and I…we’re, uh, having some issues, and I wanted a female perspective.” My face felt hot.
Jensen’s eyes narrowed in some sort of combination of concern and anger. “What did you do?”
“Why are you so sure it was me who did something? You’re my sister, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”
Jensen let out a little huff. “I’m on both your sides. And I assumed it was you because she’s been doing nothing but taking care of you for the last three and a half weeks. She’s barely left your side.”
“Well she’s left it now,” I said, a hint of anger tinging my tone.
Little lines creased Jensen’s brow. “What do you mean?”
“She wants to go back to LA.”