Within minutes, I was on the road, the gravel crunching beneath my feet. A few minutes in, I paused to stretch, even though I didn’t really want to. But a pulled muscle would only keep me away from my drug of choice. I limbered up as fast as possible and hit the road again.
This time, I pushed my muscles, lungs, and heart to their limits. I craved the burn. Relished it. Ate up every moment of its delicious torture. It reminded me that I was still alive and distracted me from every other pain.
As I reached the top of Walker’s hillside, my legs buckled, sending me sprawling. I let myself lay there. Head turned to the side, soaking in the view. Pink hues kissed the clouds as the sun began to rise. It embraced the treetops of a still-dark forest and shone on the lake. I shuddered as I took in the lake’s inky depths, flashing back to the images of my dream.
I turned my gaze to the sky. “I need you, Mom,” I whispered, a sob clogging my throat. “I’m a mess without you.” Like always, nothing and no one gave me a reply. I would have given anything to hear her voice in that moment. To feel the gentle reassurance of her presence. But I was alone.
I pushed to my feet, brushing the gravel from my tumble off my legs. I gave my hamstrings and calves a quick stretch before beginning a gentler jog home. I let the pounding of my feet lull me into a numbed state, so I didn’t notice the figure ahead of me until he was almost upon me.
Walker. And he was pissed.
“What in the hell are you doing?” he barked.
I ignored him and kept right on going. I didn’t have it in me to deal with his overprotective ass this morning.
“Taylor. Jesus, what the fuck?”
I still kept going. Or I did until a hand clamped around my arm, spinning me in place. Fury blazed in Walker’s eyes. “I. Asked. What. The. Hell. You’re. Doing.”
“Well, I’m not doing the cha cha.”
“Don’t be fucking cute.”
“I’m running, Walker. And this morning, I needed to do it alone. I have my phone and bear spray. I’m fine.”
His jaw tightened, and I swear I could hear his teeth grind together. “You gave me your word that you wouldn’t go running alone.”
I felt my blood begin to heat. “If you’ll remember, I told you I’d text you the next time I went running. Which I did. I didn’t promise to let you know every time I left the house. You’re not my brother, you’re not my dad, you’re not my fucking keeper.”
“No, I’m the idiot trying to keep you from getting killed.”
I jerked my arm from his grip. “Well, congratulations, you’re off duty. Now leave me the hell alone.”
And with that, I took off down the road at a brisk run. Wind stung the tracks that my tears had left in their wake. I was so tired of feeling. Of caring. Why couldn’t I just be left alone? That’s what I had wanted from the beginning. But no one would listen. Well, from now on, it was polite distance.
My chest burned at the idea of stepping away from the Cole family, but I knew it was what I had to do. I’d keep tutoring Noah and working at the Kettle, but that was it. No more family gatherings or tearful heart-to-hearts. I was alone, and that’s the way it was meant to be.
“That’s the way I like it,” I huffed. I kept running and ignored the bitter taste of the lie on my lips.
23
Walker
“What?” I barked in answer to the knock on my door.
Ashlee hesitantly poked her head in. “S-s-sorry, Walker, but someone is here to see you.”
I grimaced and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was an asshole. And a grumpy one at that. It had been three days since Taylor had nearly bitten my head off and stormed away. I had been sleeping for shit since then. I hadn’t once seen her around town or at my parents’ house. My mom said that she didn’t think she’d even been by to go swimming, and Jensen said she’d been polite but mostly silent while at work.
I was worried about her. And I was fucking pissed. And then I’d swing back to worried again. Something was wrong. The more I thought about that scene on the road, the more I realized that Taylor hadn’t even been close to okay that day. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her hands had been shaking the way a victim’s did when they were in shock.
Once I’d realized that something was off, I went by the guest cabin. No answer. I called, left messages, texted. Not a word. When I finally threatened to let myself in with the extra key I had, I got a single text back: I’m fine. Just need some alone time. Please respect that. If you can’t, I’ll find someplace else to live.
That had pissed me right the hell off. She knew she had the trump card and had no qualms about using it. So, I’d left her alone. And much to everyone around me’s chagrin, I’d become a prickly curmudgeon in the process.
Ashlee uneasily cleared her throat, and I was brought back to the present moment.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a dick lately. Been frustrated about a few things, but that doesn’t give me the right to take it out on my co-workers.”
Ashlee’s entire frame relaxed. “It’s all right. We all have bad days.” She eased into my office, clasping her hands in front of her. “Is there anything you want to talk about? I mean, just as friends,” she said, blushing.
I thought about confessing to Ashlee that I had a tenant who I was insanely attracted to, possibly falling for, who was driving me up the wall, but I decided against it. “No, that’s all right, nothing you need to worry about.”
She pushed her hair behind an ear. “Okay, but if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
“Thank you, Ashlee. That means a lot.” I straightened a pile of papers on my desk. “Now, who’s here to see me?”
“Right.” Ashlee jolted slightly as if just remembering why she had come to my office. “Barry Stevens is here.” She bit her bottom lip. “Do you think Caitlin sent him?”
I groaned. God, I hoped not. If Caitlin had told her father that I had used and then dumped her, this would be one uncomfortable conversation. “Go ahead and show him in. And ask him if he’d like anything to drink.”
“Will do,” she said, scurrying to the door.
“Thanks, Ashlee. You’re a big help.”