She walked up the stairs, grateful that Casey and Zavi were out playing. She stepped into the third bedroom and scanned the empty space. If Greer said he was here, then he was, but where? She went over to the closet and opened the door. It was empty of clothes and any stored items, so it was easy to make out the man crouching in the corner.
Rocco didn’t look up when she stepped into the small space. She shut the door behind her, then crossed to the back wall to sit beside him. Other than sitting so that their bodies touched, she didn’t reach out to him or try to hold his hand. She didn’t speak to him, didn’t do anything other than lend him her strength. It was like standing near an unbroken horse, working on trust. Or maybe more like an unbreakable horse, one that needed to be gentled every time it was ridden.
The times when Rocco was out in the light, he was brilliantly alive, a great father, lover, friend, and teammate. But increasingly, those moments were fewer and farther apart.
She locked her gaze on the bead of light leaking in under the door and told herself the darkness would end. Soon, she would have to leave, but she would stay as long as she could. She had a client coming up from the VA hospital in Cheyenne. Her first client. She hoped she could get Rocco to assist, but she didn’t know if he’d break out of his shadows in time.
She heard Rocco sigh. The bright light under the door let her see well enough to know he leaned his head against the wall. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”
She considered his words. “It isn’t a matter of ‘have to’ anything. I’m your sidewalker. It’s what I do.” She drew a long breath. He’d said he’d be hers. “I have my first client today.”
“That’s great,” he said, as if it were the first he’d heard of it. They’d talked about it all week. It was like the darkness ate his mind and all his values and left only the pulp of him behind.
“I could use your help,” she said.
He didn’t answer immediately, then, “Not today.”
“Okay.” There was no point arguing. “I’ll come back when I’m done.”
“Don’t bother. I’ll be downstairs. I’ll see you at dinner.”
Mandy fought back her tears. At least he let her be near him in these moments. She wondered if the guys knew he was faking living. “See you then.”
She pulled herself to her feet and silently left the closet and the empty guest room. He wouldn’t be able to hide there soon, once Wynn started. They were going to use this spare room for Zavi’s classroom until the basement rooms could be built out.
Mandy was lost in thought as she moved down the hallway and collided with Angel, who stepped out of the den. He reached a hand out to steady her.
“Whoa. Sorry about that, Mandy.” She nodded and tried to smile. “Hey, what’s goin’ on?”
“Nothing. I’m heading out to get ready for a client.”
“Oh yeah, you mentioned that. Your first, right?”
“Yeah.” And of course she stood there too long. His brows knitted. She spoke up before he could ask more questions. “Can I ask a favor?”
“Name it.”
“Do you have an hour you could spare?”
“I think so. What’s up?”
“My client is a disabled vet. He has prosthetic legs. He’ll be able to use the ramp we have to mount. He’s bringing out a friend to walk on one side, and for moral support, I think. I’ve been communicating with him about our setup here, and that I’m not fully staffed. I’m not charging him for his sessions yet, as I still need to work out the kinks. He was excited to help me, but I need someone else to be a sidewalker. I thought I might be able to get Rocco to help, but he’s not ready for that.”
“I got your back, Em. I’d be happy to help.”
Mandy smiled up at Angel and nodded. “Thank you. I’m heading out that way now. Come out when you can.”
*
The house was silent again, the quiet no balm to Rocco’s frayed nerves. He sighed, remembering his shock when Mandy joined him in his black hole. She didn’t try to talk to him, didn’t try to touch him, simply sat next to him as an anchor, tethering him to the light beyond the door.
He pushed to his feet and exited the empty closet. Where had Mandy said she was going? A client? He walked down the hallway, across the bridge that joined the two upper bedroom wings of Blade’s house, and stopped at Val’s door. He knocked, though he didn’t expect to hear an answer. Val had been in the bunker when Rocco came upstairs, however long ago that was. There was no answer.
Rocco let himself inside. Someone was showering in the bathroom. He didn’t care about that. He crossed the room and went to the window that overlooked the south side of the house, where the stables and paddocks were. He pushed a panel of the window sheers aside and looked out to see Mandy. And Angel. And a guy who had to be a vet, judging by the straight grade of his shoulders and his grace with crutches. Another guy was with him, wearing fatigues.
Mandy and Angel shook hands with them, then chatted a moment. When they moved away from the car, Rocco could see that the guy with crutches had prosthetic legs. He got around pretty good. The crutches were almost not needed.
The water shut off in the bathroom behind Rocco, but he didn’t move from the window. “Hey, Rocco,” Val said.
Rocco didn’t answer him. He was vaguely aware of him dressing, but he never took his eyes from the scene in the corral.
“What are you looking at?” Val asked as he joined Rocco at the window. “Oh. That’s right. She said at breakfast she had a client today. Her first. Pretty cool.”
As they watched, Mandy showed the visitors around, introduced the wounded vet to one of her horses. Rocco knew that sorrel. A middle-aged mare, she was docile as hell. Perfect for therapeutic uses. Boring as fuck for anything else.
Val looked from the window to Rocco. “Why don’t you join them?”