When the pizza arrived, I took a few pieces, locked myself in my bedroom, and had my headphones blasting music from my cell phone into my ears.
If I hadn’t turned around to shut my window, I wouldn’t have seen Simon standing outside, about to tap on the window.
“Hey,” he said, giving me his ‘I really messed up and hope you forgive me, best friend’ eyes.
“Go away.”
He nodded, but didn’t leave. I did my best to ignore him as I sat on the edge of my bed and started painting a new canvas. Abstract art fit best for my current mood.
I painted for an hour straight. My eyes shifted to the window. Simon was still standing there, with both his hands in his pockets. He looked pathetic.
Good.
“Go away!” I said it once more, colder than before.
He nodded, but didn’t leave. He wasn’t going to leave either.
I walked over to the window and pushed the screen up. Leaning out of the window, I glared at him. “You were the one person who wasn’t supposed to ruin my life.”
“I know.” He frowned. I wished he wouldn’t. Seeing his sad eyes and stupid freckles was pretty sad. “I wasn’t thinking, and honestly Ms. Givens and I were just talking and talking and for a second it felt like it was just another friend. It felt like I was talking to you.”
“Don’t play the ‘my only friends are a school librarian and a pregnant girl’ card.”
“I can’t play that card because it’s a lie. The card I’m playing right now is ‘my only friend is a pregnant girl’. It’s the only card in my deck. I am going to stand here until you forgive me, because I am so sorry. I am sorry for being stupid.”
“You can’t stand here all night,” I argued.
“Yes I can.” His bottom lip twitched before he looked at the ground. “I’ll stay all night.”
My eyes shifted to his shoes. They were muddy. It had to be driving him crazy. He noticed me staring. “Simon…”
“It doesn’t matter.” He hiccupped, trying not to allow his OCD to control him. His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “It’s not bad,” he said, his face was turning red. He was seconds away from exploding from his own demons.
“Okay, okay. I forgive you.”
He refused to hold eye contact with me. “I was a very shitty best friend today.”
“Shut up, climb in the window, and clean your shoes.”
“Oh thank God.” He exhaled, climbing inside. He spent the next hour cleaning his shoes and apologizing to me. It wasn’t really necessary, though, because he was the only card in my deck, too, and I couldn’t afford to be cardless.
* * *
The next day Simon stood at the bus stop still apologizing to me for his mistake.
“My God, did I tell you how perfect your hair looks today? Did you do something different?” He smiled wide. “Because it looks like you went from a solid supermodel to like a super-supermodel.”
I didn’t reply, but he kept going. “Oh! And I made a list of reasons why you’re perfect. You want to hear it?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“No. You don’t.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “You’re the only person who understands that tuna and roast beef go together. You can quote Star Wars movies. Your art skills are legendary. You keep cleaning wipes and hand sanitizer in your bedroom for me. You’re funny even when you’re not trying to be. You’re pretty much…” He didn’t stop for quite a while, he just kept going and going.
I could hardly listen to him, though, because all I was thinking about were the blue Chucks that had to arrive at the corner sooner than later. Levi almost missed the bus. He showed up about thirty seconds before the yellow cage pulled up. My eyes shifted to him, and I felt extremely bad.
What kind of jerk was I to call him a creep? There was nothing creepy about him. The only thing that was odd was how nice he treated me, especially after the lipstick on my locker situation.
I hadn’t thought of what I would say to him. I knew I had to say something, but I wasn’t sure how to pull my foot out of my mouth.
He looked like he hadn’t slept at all the night before. His shirt was wrinkled and his brown hair was still dripping wet from his shower. Our shoulders were next to one another, only inches apart, but for some reason Levi felt miles away.
I didn’t know him well enough to ask if he was angry with me, or if he’d had a bad night, or if he wanted to talk.
I didn’t know him at all, really.
Simon was the first to step onto the bus. Before he officially climbed aboard, he pushed his glasses up his nose and said, “You’ve befriended me, the biggest weirdo ever! You volunteered as tribute like that one girl from Hunger Games…” He frowned. “I can’t think of her name, though.”