All That Is Lost Between Us

Her dad takes it. She watches one of his eyebrows twitch as he reads it.

It’s hard to stand still; every time Georgia stops moving her head feels full of sloshing water, making her dizzy. She wants to get away before her mother can intervene. ‘Can we get going?’

‘Right-o. I’ll go and get dressed.’ And he disappears up the stairs.

Georgia had meant to ask if her mother was awake, but he is gone too quickly. She finishes making her toast and takes it upstairs to eat in her room so she can try to avoid any more conversations. One bite and she feels sick; there’s no way she can eat it. She grabs her school bag and picks up the plate, listening to her mum and dad murmuring in the next room. She suspects they are talking about her, but their voices are too soft to make out. As she heads back towards the stairs, her parents’ door swings open and her father appears, still speaking over his shoulder. ‘For Christ’s sake, Anya, just give her some space, will you. She can always come home.’ He sees Georgia on the stairs and his demeanour shifts. ‘You ready?’

She nods.

‘Come on, then.’

He follows her downstairs and she heads into the kitchen, throwing her uneaten toast in the bin and putting the plate in the sink. In the hallway, her father is collecting his keys from the bowl on the side table and pulling his coat off the hook. As he opens the door she hears footsteps padding quickly along the upstairs landing, but neither of them stops. Georgia pulls the door shut and is halfway along the path when it reopens, and her mum shouts her name.

Reluctantly, she turns around. Her mother stands on the doorstep, her hair sticking up at all angles, hugging her dressing-gown tight around her body, her feet bare. ‘I really don’t think you should go to school, love.’

Georgia stares her down, sure she can see traces of annoyance in her mother’s face, though she is trying to convert them to sympathy.

‘You could stay here and watch a movie or something. I could bring you some comfort food at lunchtime – the biggest slab of chocolate I can find.’

Georgia isn’t sure why she wants to object when part of her thinks that sounds really good, yet she is already shaking her head. ‘I’ll be fine. Like Dad said, I can always come home later.’ She makes an effort to keep her voice steady and neutral, knowing instinctively that her mother will hone in on any sign of weakness to back up her argument. When will her mother understand that she isn’t a child any more?

Her mother takes a long, hard look at her. ‘Well, I’ll be there shortly. If you change your mind, come and find me, okay?’ Her hands stray to her hips as they always do when she is trying to make a point. ‘My mobile will be on all day.’

They hold one another’s gaze. As usual, Georgia can see her mother trying to figure her out, wondering how much she dare say. And as always happens, Georgia summons her most impassive expression before she turns away, determined not to let her mother read her or break her down. Nowadays there are things she doesn’t ever want her mother to know.





6


CALLUM


Georgia is quiet as they drive. Callum takes his time, hoping she might begin to talk, but the distance between home and school is so short that they are there in less than ten minutes.

‘Thanks, Dad.’ She leans over and kisses him on the cheek, then climbs out of the car.

‘Phone me if you need anything,’ he calls after her. ‘Don’t stay here if you don’t want to.’

In reply, she turns to give him a brief wave, but then keeps walking. Callum waits, watching her stride up the hill. Despite all he had said to Anya, suddenly this feels like the wrong decision. He can’t bring himself to turn the car around and drive away. He wants to get out and call after her, to keep her close to him. That’s Anya’s tactic, he reminds himself, and it obviously doesn’t work. Georgia is almost an adult now. He is determined to respect her decision.

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