All That Is Lost Between Us

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It has only been a couple of months since that day, and yet when Georgia thinks back it is as though she is watching a different person, one entirely unaware of the calamitous course she was set upon. She drags herself back to the present and out of bed. She’s had enough of reminiscing for now, even though often she cannot help herself. She tiptoes to the bathroom, praying the rest of the household are still asleep. She doesn’t want to see anyone yet, but once she is in the little room she realises that she can’t face a shower this morning – she doesn’t want to re-examine her bruises too closely. Instead, she quickly splashes water over various parts of her body, drying off and putting her dressing-gown back on. She listens for any sounds outside, half-expecting her mother to be waiting for her in the corridor, but she can’t hear anything.

She hurries back to her bedroom and pulls on her school uniform. She is planning to make some toast and eat it while she walks, then get to school early and maybe head for the library. It is bad enough trying to avoid her mother at home, but Georgia feels particularly unlucky that she has to dodge her all day at school too. Only one other girl has a parent working at the school – whenever they see each other they exchange sympathetic glances.

Georgia begins to collect things to make breakfast, still thinking about her mum. One of Sophia and Georgia’s favourite topics is moaning about their mothers. While her dad and Uncle Liam are happy to let the girls get on with things, their mothers seem to form a continual blockade to their decisions – always asking questions, always wanting to know more. It is infuriating.

By the kettle she sees a note in Zac’s scrawly handwriting. He’s gone to school already, which is weird; normally their mother has to drag him out of bed. She remembers how pale he was when they got home and wonders how the night’s events have affected him. She will find him today and make sure he is okay. She can look after Zac, at least. She feels a burst of energy now the day has a bit more purpose, something to distract her from the burgeoning dread of what may come.

While making her toast she hears footsteps on the stairs, but moments later it is her dad who peers around the door in his dressing-gown. Her father isn’t normally up before she leaves, and today he comes straight across to her and sweeps her into a hug, which makes her want to cry, which in turn makes her angry when she is trying so hard to be brave and get on with things.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here last night,’ he says, moving her back gently so he can look at her, catching her elbow and making her wince. He notices her expression straightaway. ‘Can I see the damage?’

Silently she pulls up the arm of her school jumper and he grimaces. ‘Looks painful. How are you feeling this morning? Do you want to talk about it?’

She shrugs. ‘Not really.’ But then catches his eye. ‘How’s Sophia, have you heard anything?’

The fear and shake is clear in her voice. Her father puts a hand on her shoulder and comes close, waiting until she looks at him. When she meets his eyes they are full of sympathy. ‘She’s broken her leg, but she’s stable, honey,’ he says, his gaze steady. ‘She’ll be okay. I’m going to get dressed and go to the hospital. You can come with me if you like – no one expects you to go to school today.’

Georgia conjures the scene in her mind: Sophia lying pale and inert in her hospital bed, Uncle Liam and Auntie Helene’s shocked, distraught faces. The thought terrifies her. ‘No thanks, but can you do me a favour – let me know how she is as soon as you see her? I just don’t think I can bear it today . . . I’m sorry.’

She stalls, wanting to explain the irrational feeling of guilt that keeps sweeping over her when she thinks of Sophia, but unable to find the right words.

Her dad pats her shoulder. ‘Of course I will. You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.’ He pauses. ‘How much did you see last night? Did you notice the colour of the car, or get a look at the number plates?’

Georgia shakes her head. ‘No. It’s infuriating, but it all happened so fast. The car was light-coloured, I think, but when I turned around I was dazzled by headlights, and then we were all on the ground and it was gone.’

Her dad nods, looking thoughtful. When she doesn’t say any more he indicates her clothes. ‘Are you sure you want to go to school?’

Georgia nods emphatically. In fact, she isn’t at all sure she wants to go to school today, but the thought of hanging around at home with nothing to do feels a whole lot worse.

‘Shall I give you a lift on my way, then? I’ll see if Zac wants one too.’

‘Yes please – but Zac’s gone already.’ She holds out the note.

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