She whimpered but didn’t answer so I stood, rather clumsily, and lifted her out of the tub at the same time. I marched to the bed with her in my arms, sopping wet, and laid her down. She giggled but her smile disappeared quickly when she saw how serious I was. Her nipples were hard. I pressed my hand against the center of her chest and felt that her skin was very hot. I hovered over her as she looked up at me with big brown eyes. “What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Just looking at you.” I grabbed her from behind the thighs and pulled her to the edge of the bed so she was open to me. I stood between her open legs, watching her chest rise and fall with her hurried breaths, her black hair wet and trailing above her. Slowly, she lifted her arms above her head, presenting her body to me. Her back arched off the bed and her knees fell to the sides as she opened herself wider to me. My heart was racing, all of the blood in my body rushing to the center. She looked away from me to the side. Even with no makeup on, her cherry lips stood out brightly against her skin.
“Look at me.” She looked back up as I bent and kissed each breast, my hands resting on her hips. She seemed uneasy. Her eyes looked urgent. “What is it?”
“You have to touch me.” I could feel her heat against my thigh and her body bucked slightly toward me. She wanted me and I was teasing her, making her wait. I stood up straight. Hovering over her, I placed my index finger on her belly and ran it south very lightly until I was touching her soft flesh. Her eyes closed and she turned her head away again.
“Open your eyes, Ava. I want to see you.”
I plunged two fingers in and let my thumb draw circles until she was writhing against me. I could feel her falling apart as her body tightened around my fingers. Just before she came, her back arched again, her eyelids fluttered, and her mouth opened in awe. I removed my hand and barreled into her while her body was still quaking from the orgasm. My hands met hers above her head, holding her in place as I moved in and out. She relaxed, letting me find a rhythm. Her hands gripped my sides, pulling me closer, her lips near my ear, kissing and sucking and making sweet sounds until I felt her reaching the pinnacle again. Arching her body into me, she went rigid. I could feel her release pulsing all around me. She came over and over until I finished, and then I collapsed on top of her. Both of our bodies were coated in sweat. I kissed her for a long time and then moved down her neck until I fell asleep, gripping her body to mine.
When we woke, the rain had stopped. We went out onto the veranda wearing matching black hotel robes. The sun peeked through the clouds.
She leaned over the balcony ledge to look out as I wrapped my arms around her from behind. “Please talk to me.”
“Fear is mainly what’s holding me back. I need to learn to find a balance so that I don’t fear life without someone.”
“That’s not a very romantic sentiment.”
“I had stars in my eyes before. I idealized what Jake and I had. I was only with him for a year and a half. We were only just getting to know each other. I let him pull me in so much that I didn’t think I could go on without him.”
“Isn’t that how you’re supposed to feel?”
“Listen to you. You’re suddenly the expert on love.”
“I know a few things when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“Well, Dr. Meyers, do tell.”
“Love is selfless. The other night I proved to you how selfish I could be, but I won’t make that mistake again. I think I know what needs to be done, but first you have to tell me where you want to be.”
“I want to be with you.”
I tightened my grip around her. “Then we’ll go back.”
“No, you’ll go back. I’m going to stay with my mom for a while and take classes here. That’s my decision.”
“Here, as in Spain?” I turned her so we were face-to-face. My own expression must have been shocked.
She arched her eyebrows and answered definitively, “Yes.”
“But you said you wanted to be with me.”
“I do, but you have to learn how to give more, and I have to learn how to give less.” I knew what she meant. We needed a balanced relationship, and neither one of us was emotionally ready for what that meant. A small smile touched her lips.
“I’m not sure what you’re saying, Ava.”
Her hand came up and caressed my jaw. “I’m in love with you, Nate, so much so that I don’t want to screw anything up. I’m afraid that if I go back now, that’s what will happen. All I’m asking for is a little time.”
“How long?”
“One year.”
I swallowed, shocked. My eyes shot open. “One year? I’m not going to see you for a year?”
She nodded. “That way we’ll know.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I know what I want now.”
“Don’t you want to be sure?”
“I am sure.”
“Nate, a year from now I’ll still be young and so will you, but at least in that time you can figure out where you want to practice for good and I can go back to school, something I should have done a long time ago.”
“I thought I was going to practice in Montana.”
“You said we needed to figure out the dream and chase it. What is your dream, Nate? Where do you want to live for the rest of your life? I know it’s not Montana. If I weren’t in the picture, wouldn’t you want to be closer to your mom and dad, especially if you have kids?”