Accidentally Ever After (Accidentals #11)

But Toni almost didn’t notice for the zing of pressure in her feet, and again, her brain spoke to her. So look, here’s the thing. Your feet aren’t going to be a lot of help when you can’t move, yanno? Just keep your eyes closed and roll with this to the end. No pun intended.

But her body had different ideas. Go limp, don’t stiffen up. That’s it. Relax. Keep your eyes closed and chill. The second she eases up on her grip because your pals are down there yanking her crank, use it to your advantage and bend at the waist then head-butt a bitch.

But I can’t even do a whole sit up! I’m out of shape. My soft, white underbelly really is soft! her brain revolted.

Find your core, Sunshine, and trust I know what I’m saying, her body insisted.

So she focused, and the moment Pricilla reacted to the girls grabbing her tentacles by easing her grip, was the moment she bolted upward, her body flying full-steam ahead, her target aligned.

Toni thwacked Pricilla right between her bulging eyes, the impact unbelievably making her fall backward. She crashed into the ocean like a rock, the sting of it making her cry out in agony. Icy waves pummeled her as Pricilla howled her rage and Toni fought her way to the surface, her feet mysteriously light under the water.

And then hands, several pairs, were lifting her, pushing her, driving her upward, shooting her out of the water, where she landed on Pricilla’s head and latched onto her thatch of silver hair. She gasped for air, spitting the freezing water from her face and gripping tight.

From below above, she saw Nina, Marty, Wanda and Dannan, their hands wrapping around Pricilla’s inky tentacles, but her mission made her forget everything around her.

Kill the bitch for almost freezing her tits right off—because heavy dress, plus water that was at best twenty below, equaled frostbite.

Pricilla began to roar her fury, shaking her head with wild abandon, spinning in circles like some mad whirling dervish, growing in size while the girls hung on to her.

Toni held on tight, too, keeping her eyes clenched shut, opening her mouth wide and spraying fire at Pricilla’s silver head.

Her screams were raw, furious, but Toni’s body wouldn’t allow her to let go.

And as Pricilla grew to monstrous proportions, her head filling the night sky, Toni clung to her flesh, her mind racing to find a solution.

Then the slice of a sword in the wind, the sharp steel against flesh rang out. She finally looked down to find Jon using all that wrath he kept talking about as he took a whack at one of the sea witch’s tentacles and severed it cleanly. It flew upward in the air, landing in the water with a muted thwack.

But black ink spewed from Pricilla’s wound, forcing Jon to turn his face and lose his footing. He fell, swallowed up by the freezing water, and that’s when panic really began to set in for Toni.

“Get Jon!” she screamed to Marty and Wanda, who clung to a tentacle in their effort to drag Pricilla from the water.

Jon appeared unconscious, his body buoying upward only to sink again. Fear like the ice-cold water raced through Toni’s veins when she could no longer see his head.

But from the depths below her, through the snow mixed with rain and the roar of the ocean, Muriel’s red head popped upward, her arm rising high when she hurled a shiny item upward to Toni. “I’ll get Jon! You chop the bitch’s head off!” she bellowed.

The moment she realized Jon was safe with Muriel, Toni’s feet sprang into action without aid of her brain as she strained for the sword, managing to catch it just as it arced over her head.

The metal was heavy in her hands when she wrapped her fingers around the base and attempted to lift it as she dragged herself upward until she was on the top of Pricilla’s enormous head where she managed to sink her heels into the sea witch’s thick hair.

Toni grunted as the wind pushed her back to the edge of Pricilla’s skull and she wobbled.

She couldn’t even lift the damn sword, how was she going to cut this woman’s head off from behind, no less? And by the way, ewwww on the head chopping, but she couldn’t hack her head off from this vantage point. She needed more leverage. If she could just get to her shoulder…

Instead, an icy wave crashed into her, pushing her off Pricilla’s skull and back into the water.

It was then the shoes began to heat her feet, and luckily, she landed on one of Pricilla’s tentacles like she’d just starred in The Matrix and performed her own stunts.

Wrapping her legs around the thick length, she dragged the sword with her, inching her way upward, fighting the pounding waves crashing all around her.

“Get the fuck down, Toni!” Nina hollered just before a wave toppled her, pulling her under the water.

“Lass, no!” Dannan roared above the crash of the surf, but her feet weren’t having it.