Toni lifted her head at the odd demand, slowing her roll to stop just twenty feet from where the hooded man stood with her friend.
Why would she advise her to run to the cottage and not help her escape the clutches of a guy with glowing eyes?
Oh, wait. I know, I know! that little voice inside her screamed. You, Toni Vitali, have been fucked again! That’s not really Marty, Super Genius, and you shouldn’t go to the cottage.
Duh, duh, duh! She wanted to scream.
“I have her now, Stokes!” the man with Marty yelled.
But she had no time to fret over her foolishness as flaming arrows began arcing the sky. Grabbing the harness on Carl’s back, she began to run for cover, but he was slow and sluggish, his gait hindered by whatever had happened to him in his human form.
And then she remembered. Again. She could damn well breathe fire.
Dragging Carl as fast as she could, she did head for the cottage, darting between flaming arrows as though she were wearing a pair of Air Jordans rather than four-inch heels.
“Stay behind me, Carl!” she hollered as an arrow landed directly in front of her. “Don’t move!”
Inhaling deeply, she prayed her reach would go far enough into the woods to fry the bastards.
The harsh taste of smoke filled her lungs, forcing her to exhale in a long, shuddering cough. Fire erupted in a molten orange-and-blue stream, thick and wide as she swerved her head and just as she heard the men scream, she heard her name.
“Toni! Over here! Come to me!” Jon bellowed as what sounded like Dannan’s footsteps pounded through the forest.
“Toniiiiiii! We’re coming!” Nina roared.
Yeah. Right. That wasn’t Nina. She wasn’t falling for that again. Instead, she exhaled harder, moving her head from side to side until stream after stream of fire flew from her lips.
“Knock it the fuck off!” Nina yelled again as footsteps neared.
Toni hiccupped, stopping the flow of fire as she peered into the night.
As the smoke cleared, Nina stomped forward waving away the smoke, half of her hair and a portion of her gown totally obliterated, the bluebirds, though quiet now, still circling her head, their feathers singed and puffs of smoke spewing from their tiny beaks.
“You got the bad guys. Now cut it the fuck out and listen to me, Fire Starter! It’s me, nitwit!”
Oh no. No, no, no. Toni backed away, pushing Carl with her. They rounded the corner of the back of the cottage, plowing their way through deep snow to stop on a small patio area with a back door. As footsteps grew closer, so did Toni’s panic.
Obviously, these particular bad guys weren’t going to give up so easily, and she had to protect Carl or they’d be making reindeer soup out of him—or Nina’d make Toni soup out of her if he ended up hurt. But he was too slow to make a break for it.
Think, Toni. Think. What’s the one thing they’d never suspect you to do?
Trap herself inside the cottage.
Holding her finger to her lips, she looked at Carl to signal him to be quiet, yanking on his harness and dragging him toward the tiny red door.
With a slow turn of the handle, she found it swiveled all the way. Thank God.
Leaning down, she whispered in Carl’s ear, “On three, buddy,” and pointed to the cottage door. Holding up her fist, she threw up her fingers one at a time and on three, burst through the cottage door, yanking Carl in with her and slamming it shut.
She whirled around, her eyes searching for a lock or a bolt to secure their safety as she heard the rumble of footsteps coming from the other end of the tiny cottage. “Front door’s open, dingbat.”
Her heart began to pound as Carl pulled away from her, running toward the front of the cottage. “No, Carl!” she hissed. “That’s not Nina!”
“Get in here, nutball! Now!”
Okay, maybe that was Nina. How could she be sure?
And then there were gasps.
Then the maybe-not-so-fake-after-all Nina said, “For the love of dolphins. Is there anybody in your fucked-up kingdom who doesn’t have more issues than Playboy, Flawless?”
Toni snuck to the quaint kitchen’s entryway and poked her head around the corner to see everyone was gathered about a big claw-foot tub.
But was it really everyone, or were they just shifters pretending to be everyone?
How was she supposed to know? They needed a safe word or something.
“I smell you, Fire Starter,” Nina said. “Get the hell in here, and do it now, or I swear on these stupid wings flapping around behind me, I’m going to rip your feet off and take them to the damn castle myself!”
Toni stepped out from the entryway and into the light of the sitting room as the group parted to fully reveal the claw-foot tub.
Toni’s mouth fell open, but only after she, too, gasped.
Note to Realm,
Look, I’ve been introduced to many a wonder here in your magical kingdom. Good times I’ll remember for always. A gift, really. But this? Well, you’ve outdone yourself. Kudos.
She lifted a finger and pointed toward the tub. “Is that a…?”
“Mermaid, honey. I’m a mermaid. You want me to sound it out for you?”