Phillip bristled. “He is drunk and not in control of himself. I will not leave you with him like this.”
“A slave and a eunuch dares to judge me!” Titus let out a mocking laugh. “Come here, my love, so I can show him that I will not hurt you.”
Abigail stared at him for a long moment as he stood there, his hand extended to her. His face was a cold mask, familiar but not a part of her better memories. It occurred to her only then that she had not so much as seen him smile at anyone but the children since the night of his father’s party, four days ago.
She stepped calmly toward him. “Keep your voice down. You will wake the children.”
“Mistress!” Phillip objected.
Abigail put her hand in Titus’s when she was near enough, letting him pull her close and cover her mouth with his own. He tasted so strongly of wine that she was afraid she would get besotted just from kissing him. She pulled away when it became clear he did not care to.
“You are drunk.” She put as much distance between them as she could, though his arms were firmly around her. She ended up leaning her head back so that she could look up at him.
“I am not.”
“You are.”
He seemed to consider. “Maybe a little.”
“Quite a bit, from where I am standing.”
Titus shook his head. “I am not very drunk. You would know if I were; when I am very drunk, I am very mean.”
Abigail arched her brows. “And insulting Phillip is not mean?”
He all but growled. “He will not leave.”
Abigail sighed, seeing no peaceable solution to this dilemma. Finally, she turned her head toward her servants. “Phillip, take Miriam and go to bed.”
“Mistress,” Phillip tried one last time, obviously distressed, “I realize you love him, but can you not see that he is not himself? Would you have him make a whore of you?”
Abigail let her gaze fall straight ahead. “I already have.” That rendered him speechless, so she said again, “Please, Phillip. Take Miriam and go.”
He obeyed, glaring threateningly at Titus all the while. Titus did not seem to notice, however, as he was too busy glaring in turn at Abigail. “Do not speak of yourself like that,” he said as the door closed behind the servants. “You are not so low, dear one. I love you.”
“Do you?” She moved her eyes back to his, searching them as she had done on two occasions before. Once, she had found him lacking. The second time, she had seen potential, something in him to make her hope. This time she was far too confused to make sense of what she saw. “I believe you do, Titus, somewhere inside you. But you are letting yourself fall into your old habits. And the old Titus thought of me as nothing but a slave.”
His face hardened even more. He clenched his jaw, and she wondered if he was fighting her words or his own reactions to them. “I know you are not a slave. I love you.”
Her lips curved up, but it was hardly a smile. “You say that as though the mere statement can bend reality. Yet you treat me as though I am but another of your wenches to be taken at your convenience and ignored whenever you have something better to do. I have barely even seen you in the last two days, Titus.”
“Two days is not such a long time.”
“It is when I have nothing to do but sit around and wait for my lover to come home.”
Quite suddenly, his eyes lit with pleasure. “You have missed me. Why did you not simply say so, rather than try to make me feel guilty?”
She wanted to shout, “Because I feel guilty! Because I need to know that you are capable of feeling it too!” Instead, she quietly sighed, letting her eyes slide closed. “It is late. I am tired. I do not like to be awakened by the roars of a drunken man.”
“I was not roaring, and I am not that drunk. Though it is late, and you are tired. My suggestion would be to go to bed.”
She nodded, prepared to turn back to her room and do just that. When Titus picked her up and carried her the few steps to his bed instead, she let out a frustrated breath. “Titus!”
He placed her on her feet long enough to pull her tunic over her head, then scooped her up again and deposited her on the bed. “You will be asleep soon,” he promised her with a crooked smile as he stripped himself and settled beside her. “Think of me as your lullaby. I will soothe you and tire you and keep you warm and content.”