That empty, cold hole in my chest warmed just a little.
Hazel’s reply was a little too calm given that her eyes were glowing with ire. “Does she know who you are? Does she know your kin name?”
I sat up straight and blinked. “What’s she talking about?”
Adrianna’s fists curled into tight, tight balls. “It’s not relevant.”
Hazel’s chin went up a jot. “I disagree.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Hazel’s blazing eyes met mine as she said, “Her full name is Adrianna Andromeda Lakeshie. Her mother is Diana Lakeshie, who has been Queen of the Riverlands for centuries. A queen with a tarnished crown, without honor or respect since she turned her back on Sefra,” she said, her voice bitter and harsh. Almost unrecognizable.
My mind was racing, skipping from thought to thought. There was one in particular that I kept returning to time and time again. Why hadn’t she told me?
Adrianna’s shoulders drooped a little, but she sounded steady, calm. “Diana is no kin of mine.”
“Don’t try to deceive me, faeling!”
Adrianna growled at that and Salazar let out a whimper.
Hazel continued. “I’d know Diana’s blood anywhere. You’re the twin image of her.”
Hazel stared down Adrianna with a domineering glower. Some stupid fae standoff was taking place. After a strained silence, Adrianna’s head lowered. A concession.
Hazel turned her back in response. Gods, was that my future? Adopting this strange, animalistic culture?
The Priestess busied herself around the kitchen, washing and slicing up the fungi she’d collected earlier, wielding the knife with such force that I had to suppress flinching. I turned away, looking up to Adrianna; her chest fluttered with shallow breath, and her eyes were glazed. All I managed was, “Is it true?”
“Yes.”
A whisper that felt like a physical assault.
Adrianna sighed in frustration and twisted to face me fully. “I never said anything because I didn’t want the recruits to start treating me differently. No better, no worse. Can you understand that?”
I studied her, catching a flicker—just a flicker—of the creature beneath the hard mask. To the fae so terrified of rejection that she’d hidden the greatest part of herself. To the female who looked like she was waiting in line for the gallows. There was no space in my heart for anything but honesty. “I wish you’d told us.”
Something like guilt made her striking features crumple. “I would have, eventually. I just needed time.”
My back steeled; my gut churned. I had to decide. “Hazel, I want you to tell her.”
The angry chop, chop, chop sound ceased as she lowered the knife. Hazel swiveled around, regarding me for a heartbeat. “All right.” No judgment. No attempt at scolding. Just cool acceptance.
Adrianna slumped down next to me, casting a suspicious glance to the couch behind, while Hazel walked over and reclaimed her armchair. Locking her spine and rustling her wings, Hazel began talking.
I tried to tune it out for one very awkward reason: my mind had put the pieces together. Adrianna was about to learn that her mother, Diana, had refused to help my sister, and had left the Solar Court to fall to Morgan. What it would do to us, I’d no idea.
Hazel continued for far longer than I would’ve liked. I struggled to watch Adrianna: I only peeked over once or twice. She’d settled in to a deathly stillness. My heart plummeted, my mind spun, and I thought I might be sick all over poor Salazar.
Hazel finished, and there was a painful pause. Then, Adrianna was kneeling in front of me.
A squirm of displeasure hit me at the sight. “What are you doing?”
In a broken voice, she said, “I’ve never forgiven my makena for the choice she made and the dishonor she brought to our name. But discovering that our greatest shame was responsible, at least in part, for what happened to you; it’s too much. Can you forgive me?”
Her head bowed.
Emotion rose to the back of my throat, choking me. “You didn’t make your makena do anything. You have nothing to feel ashamed about. Don’t carry it, Adi. It’s not your burden to bear.”
She looked sadder than ever. Damn it. This was so unlike her that I could barely stand it.
A tremble caused her voice to go down an octave. “You know, I admired Sefra—hero-worshiped her, really. I chose to train as an Iko in honor of her.”
Hazel sounded almost curious. “Diana couldn’t have liked that.”
A hollow cackle sounded. “No. She wanted me to command the armies, but after her betrayal, no one would’ve respected me. Many Riverlanders think our bloodline’s rotten now.” She paused as if waiting for Hazel to agree, but thankfully, she remained silent. Adrianna went on, her stricken gaze shifting to mine. “I’ve been desperate to prove to my people that our line isn’t lost—that we’re worthy of their respect again.”
“And you will.”
She shook her head. “Serving as an Iko was supposed to be a penance. My kin’s punishment. Yet, it was a fool’s quest; I knew that. Accepted it.” Her eyes shone a little brighter. “But us being in the same pack can’t be a mistake. I’m meant to help you.”
Alarm and gratitude swept through me, carrying any reply far away. Adrianna stood back up and faced Hazel. “Can you really change her back?”
She nodded, a tad disgruntled.
“Is it dangerous?” Adrianna demanded.
Hazel harrumphed. “Of course it’s rutting dangerous, but we don’t have a choice.”
Adrianna wasn’t done. “Obviously. But she needs to know what happens after the change.”
That had every muscle tensing.
Hazel’s expression became hooded and dark as she drummed her fingers on the rolled armrest. Contemplating.
My hands twisted in my lap as the silence stretched. My patience snapped quickly. “What happens?” I demanded.
Adrianna looked down at me, her expression softening. “You’ve got light magic. So unless you go into hiding for the rest of your life, you won’t be able to stop word from getting out about you. And you see what that choice did for Liora.”
Hazel’s features turned sharp, inquisitive. I just felt nauseous.
Adrianna wasn’t finished. “The alternative is that you use your gifts, which will draw Morgan to you like a bee to honey. She’ll be desperate to capture you. All so she can try to bend you to her will.”
I wished she’d shut up. My head was pounding, and it felt like Salazar was trying to give my ass a hug. All too much. Too absurd.
Adrianna was still going. This time, speaking to Hazel. “Sati’s gift was sunlight. What was Dain’s?”
I blinked. Sunlight?
Hazel was frowning up at Adrianna from her armchair, but it wasn’t out of irritation. “He was blessed with moonlight and waterlight.”
Adrianna sucked in a little gasp. “That kurp? still defeated him?”
She sounded disbelieving: horrified.
Hazel’s voice rang with pure sorrow. “Morgan’s power didn’t just lie in abilities, but in her cunning. And she had help.” A smoldering look.
The shock vanished from Adrianna’s expression. The hard, commandeering mask slipped back in place. “I know. That’s why our pack will protect Serena. It’s why we’ll go to Ewa with her.”
I felt all at once touched and terrified and stunned.
The faint wrinkles around Hazel’s mouth tightened. “I question the wisdom of you going. Your movements will be watched. I’m guessing your instructors, for instance, know who you are?”
Adrianna gave me a sideways look before answering, “Yes, but I’m still going with her.” She continued with fervor. “And good luck stopping the other members of our pack from coming along. We stick together. Maggie told us we were destined to watch each other’s backs.”
She raised her chin an inch as if daring Hazel to argue. All she got was a cocked eyebrow. “Very well. Then, once you’ve completed the trials, you must escape and meet me at Ewa.”