Detecting strain in his voice, I wondered. More like hoped.
His cheeks carried a flush. Maybe it was a simple case of windburn. That didn’t explain why he looked like a male at war with himself. His words came out clipped, slamming into me. “Frazer can scent Tysion’s route and avoid it. You can’t. Something you should think of before running headlong into the path of three fae who’d gladly rip you to shreds. You’re not this stupid, so stop acting like it.”
His words gutted me. He was right—I was stupid. Stupid to hope that his tone had held jealousy and not contempt.
An invisible wall went up between us, and a cold silence fell. The flight was annoyingly labored and slow. Adrianna and Goldwyn landed minutes before us.
Wilder finally touched hard earth in the shadow of a watchtower, just outside camp. He let me down.
Without looking him in the eye, I muttered, “Thanks.”
“Are you going back there?” His voice was a nip warmer.
“No, but I’m waiting here until he gets back.”
I risked a look, then. He wasn’t smiling, but neither did he seem as dark and grim as before. “I expected nothing less. I’ll wait with you.”
“You told me that we weren’t allowed to be seen together.” I tried for casual and got snappy instead.
Wilder rubbed the back of his neck. Did he look embarrassed? “I’ve already made a fool out of myself. A few more minutes more won’t make any difference.”
“What are you talking about—”
I broke off upon seeing Wilder’s head tilt to the side. Gone was the sheepish expression, and in its place was the predator. He growled so low, it reverberated inside my chest. I followed his eye line, but there was nothing.
Wilder explained in a whisper. “Dimitri’s talking to a guard. He’s close. He’ll be coming to see if Tysion’s back.”
I whispered back, “You should go.” I stepped aside and gestured toward camp.
All I got was a withering look. “I’m not leaving you alone after you just embarrassed his best fighter. Give me some credit.”
Those words stupidly caused my head to spin and my heart to pound.
Wilder’s hand slipped around my wrist, and without asking, his wings took us into the sky again and straight onto the walkway above. Then, he was pushing and jostling me through a door in the enclosed watch tower.
“Eyes front. Say nothing,” Wilder muttered to the two armor-clad fae on duty.
The quiet command sent a thrill through my blood. I couldn’t fathom why, but the power lining his voice made my very bones want to obey.
The guards turned away and went still as stone, surveying the area, as if nothing had happened. Not a question between them. The perfect soldiers.
Wilder pushed me down to the planked floor and sat beside me. I rested against the high railings that shielded us from view. His wing curled around me, tucking me in close. A hot breath coiled up the shell of my ear as he leaned in. “Not a word. Understood?”
I nodded, but Wilder wasn’t paying attention to me. He’d plucked something from an inner pocket in his leathers. I caught sight of green crystal before his hand closed over it. His lips moved in a silent rhythm.
The seconds stretched by, and the guards didn’t move or speak to us. They didn’t give a single sign that a mentor was currently shielding a recruit under his wing. A hum, a tingle, shimmered through the air. My blood recognized magic. It felt weak, but …
Wilder. Clearly, I knew nothing about this fae.
Dimitri’s voice sounded from below. “You stupid, reckless idiot!”
I broke out in a nervous sweat when the reply came. “They attacked first,” Tysion growled low. “Goldwyn and Wilder must be bedding their own recruits. They showed favoritism.”
A tremor went through Wilder’s wings. I dared to peek up at him from under my lashes. Shadows plagued his eyes, but he caught me looking and smiled.
Sure, it was small and crooked, but it still caused my pulse to sing.
“Oh, spare me the excuses,” Dimitri said with flawless disdain.
“That wingless dick cut my wing, and they did nothing,” Tysion protested.
Auntie clucked her tongue. Aww, poor baby.
A savage grin cracked my face in two. Wilder’s eyes went there. To my mouth. My body came alive, bursting into flames.
“I don’t hear any of the others complaining.”
Dimitri’s voice now sounded miles away. Like I’d slipped under the sea. More voices punctured the air. Lucian and Cole. But the words escaped me.
I didn’t how long we stayed there like that, sharing each other’s breath. It put me on the edge of something, tilting, staring down into a fathomless abyss.
A fall. I was falling.
Wilder’s wings crumpled in on themselves, and the world opened back up. He pulled me out the door and straight into his arms.
We jumped and landed with a thud. But I didn’t stop falling.
He released me, but his arm kept a light grip on my forearm. He stood, watching me. And I drowned in those eyes. Lost in the forest.
Words bubbled to the surface—words that I shouldn’t say.
Wilder snatched his arm away like he’d been burned, and he took a very deliberate step back. “Frazer’s coming.”
My head whipped toward the tree line. The sight of that familiar tall figure shook a relieved laugh loose from my lips.
“I have to go.”
That had my gaze snapping back to his.
“Dimitri will have gone to ooze excuses into Hilda’s ear. And I need to be there to support Goldwyn and speak on your pack’s behalf.”
His wings twitched, flaring.
“Wait! You can’t just …”
“What?” he pushed out.
I thought fast. A delay. “Why didn’t you tell me you had magic?”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
My chest collapsed. I didn’t know what I’d been summoning the courage to say—maybe that this, us, might be worth a risk. I swallowed the words. It felt like hot ash slipping down my throat.
My body reacted and moved back as if instinctively protecting itself from an assault.
Wilder sighed a little and opened his palm to reveal the now clear crystal. “It was borrowed magic. A charm that allows me to blanket a small area and disrupt fae senses.”
I went somewhere far, far away. “Right, well, thanks for helping me.”
Again, my body knew what to do. It turned its back to him.
That was my goodbye. To all of it.
Slow and heavy wingbeats murmured alongside the faint and broken echoes of my heart. I didn’t look back.
None of it mattered, not really. Maggie’s words—the reaper at my back, the quest to find the Priestess—they needed to be the priority. Everything else paled in comparison. Or at least, it should.
I just needed to try harder to control myself. To shut him out. So I buried my feelings as deep as they’d go and watched the meadow, waiting for my kin to return.
Chapter 20
By the Lake
After I reunited with Frazer, our pack came together in the barracks. This was followed by a visit to the baths and a short trip to the food hall to stuff our faces. We’d rushed in both places because we wanted to be alone with Goldwyn. She’d promised to give an update on Hilda’s ruling, and I kept hoping and praying that there’d be no consequences for us—especially Frazer.
So, now we waited for the news. I’d told them all about my hiding from Dimitri with Wilder, and after that we talked, mostly idle words to distract ourselves. Only Frazer sensed what I wasn’t saying. That my heart had frozen and was burning, all at once.
Through the barrack windows we were witness to a blanket of night falling over the world, coal-black and starless. The firelights flickered to life in the lanterns, and a pitter-patter became a hailstorm hammering against the window and roof. Finally Goldwyn appeared, ducking in the door, her leathers sticking to her. She greeted us, shaking her mane and sunshine-colored wings free from the raindrops.
We all stood at once.