A Kingdom of Exiles (Outcast)

Adrianna freed a husky cackle. “Humans always were slow.”

I wasn’t sure whether to feel offended or amused.

Her face slipped back into its distant, aloof mask, while her posture betrayed idle boredom. “I’m going in. Follow when you’re ready.”

I watched as she silently glided out into the lake and swam for the landing platform. Her strokes were smooth, fast, powerful—nothing I could match.

With fumbling fingers, I shed layer after layer until only my undergarments and socks remained. Spotting a hollowed-out tree trunk and stepping gingerly to avoid the sharper stones, I placed everything into the stump in case a wandering fae decided to play a joke. Pausing only to quickly whip my underthings off, I made my way to the water’s edge.

When the water reached my belly, the pain in my side turned to agony. If I didn’t move now, I never would. Plunging in headfirst, my muscles screamed in protest, and as I broke the surface, the cold bit deep into my lungs, squeezing. My breath came in jolting gasps, and my neck burned with icy fire. Kicking out desperately, I did the butterfly stroke. But my panting became so violent, I took on water, gulping and choking.

“On your back, now,” I heard Adrianna shout.

I flipped. The ache in my ribs and jaw eased a touch. And my next inhale didn’t almost drown me. I kept a slow pace; the movement, and watching the star-freckled sky turn to budding dawn diverted me. Time ceased. Then, Adrianna was there, swimming by my side, making it look too easy. A little part of me hated her for it.

“You’re done.”

Surprised, I went onto my front and peered at the platform. It wasn’t that far. Caught between iron will and the cowardly part that wanted to curl into a ball, I exhaled, “I could go further—I’m getting used to it.”

“Because your body’s acclimatizing, but it’s sapping your energy reserves. You’ll cramp soon, and you’ve still got hours of exercise ahead.”

I wanted to cry.

“Turn around, now.” It wasn’t a request.

Back on the lakeside and shivering violently, I wobbled to the tree trunk. Adrianna had come ashore with me and while I pulled clothes on, she got changed in silence. My limbs were leaden and shaking, but I still angled my body and kept my back to her. With only my boots to go, Adrianna moved closer and asked, “Are you ashamed of your body?” No filter. A blunt demand.

Too tired for lies, I pushed my feet in boots and then faced her. I told the truth, horrible as it might have been. “Yes.”

She gave me a curt nod. “If I’m the first female you’ve seen naked, how do you know what’s normal?”

“Humans find other ways to tell you what’s normal. Back in the Gauntlet … there were people who thought I looked so weird, they exiled me as a changeling.”

Adrianna peered at me. “Why? What’s wrong with you?”

Somehow her candidness didn’t bother me. The fact she even asked made opening-up easier and the past seem more distant.

I detached slightly as the words poured out. “My stepmother said I looked like a boy.” I ran a hand through my short, wet hair. “And called me hopeless because men didn’t find that sort of thing attractive.”

Adrianna cocked her head, eyeballing my body. “You don’t look like a boy, and besides, males don’t find one thing attractive. Some like curvy and petite, others like slender and tall.” She jerked her head at me. “Haven’t you considered it’s a good thing to be the way you are? For one thing, you don’t have to lug these …” She grabbed her breasts and jiggled them. “… around with you during your training.”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed freely.

A bell clanged in the distance. Adrianna’s head turned toward the noise, her face settling into a grim frown. Playtime was over. “Enough self-pity. We’re going to the food hall. Sit near the fire. Choose foods that give you the most energy, not ones that fill you. You don’t want to be throwing it up in front of the instructors. We’ve already got too many recruits doing that on a daily basis.”

A joke? I couldn’t tell with her.

Adrianna blew a whistle and the fireflies dispersed. The sun now lit our way. She walked off into a loping stride.

I scrambled after her, my mind wandering, dreaming of the hot meal and fire that awaited. My clothes had stuck to me with the damp, and the crisp morning air caused shivers to rack my body.

We hit the smooth paving stones of Kasi’s pathway, and I lifted my nose to draw in the smell, so like John’s bakery, deep into my lungs. There, a sour tint of bread rising, and that warm loveliness, melting down the throat, signaling cake being laid out to cool.

Despite the stiffness seizing my limbs, I kept up with Adrianna this time, and as we stepped into the hall, my stomach rumbled in appreciation. No one was serving at the top table, but it didn’t stop me flying up the aisle to grab a bowl.

The giant cauldrons from yesterday had gone, replaced by platters of hot and cold breakfast foods. I stayed clear of anything leafy and green and went straight for high energy. Oatmeal piled high with honey and sugar, a mouthwatering plate filled with donuts, cupcakes, and bear claws. The finishing touch, a glass of milk. Adrianna served herself fruits and various sweet buns beside me.

Engrossed in the food, I didn’t notice Cai and Liora’s arrival until a familiar voice sounded out, “Save us, will there be any food left once you’re done?”

I swiveled to find Cai’s toothy grin and Liora’s gentle smile, which both vanished the second they saw my face.

“Mother moon!”

“What did they do to you?” Liora gawked.

My hand fluttered to my jaw. “They weren’t happy I’d joined the team.”

Liora’s mouth hung open in horror. Cai, on the other hand, looked murderous. “They won’t get away with this.”

I tried for nonchalant. “Something tells me they’ve gotten away with much worse.”

Neither said anything, but Liora’s face became a picture of pity, and Cai simply stared at my jaw, scowling.

Adrianna moved to my side and made no sign of welcome. “Are you joining me?” Hands full, she jerked her chin to the bench nearest the fire.

Cai cut in, “Of course, we’ll join you.”

He flashed his teeth in a taunting grin, but Adrianna was more than a match for him. She surveyed him for half a second and marched to the bench, dismissing him as easily as she might a speck of dust.

Cai’s throat bobbed. I might’ve called him intimidated. He caught me staring and bent to whisper, “You have some explaining to do.”

He pulled away with a smile. I gave him one in return—the kind that promised answers. I left them to fill their own plates and went to join Adrianna.

Close to drooling, I tucked into my food. But after Cai and Liora slid in opposite with a collection of fruit and cereals, it became impossible not to be distracted from my gorging by Cai’s relentless staring. Except, it wasn’t me he was studying. Adrianna, of course, carried on wolfing down her breakfast without so much a look in his direction.

Liora’s eyes soon found mine. She was the first to break the silence. “At least you won’t have to live with what those bastards did to you.” She nudged her brother while spooning fruit into her mouth.

Cai broke from his watchful vigil to turn to me. “Shit—sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tin. “This is a salve. It’ll bring down the swelling and ease the pain. We might be banned from using magic during sparring, but healing cuts and scrapes isn’t against the rules.”

He winked. Adrianna stopped eating to cut an icy glare in his direction. Maybe she thought bruised ribs and a swollen jaw made you a better soldier. Maybe this proved I’d fail—that I was a coward—but I took the salve with a nod of thanks and rubbed it on the affected areas. The pain eased as the sharp pine and lavender scent stung my nostrils, and the sharp twinge accompanying my every gods-damned breath faded.

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