Alex laughed, a hollow sound. “I can’t. I’m the reason she is the way she is. I thought at first that I could get her back, but now I know she’s just punishing me. She isn’t looking to heal. She isn’t looking to move on. She’s got me locked in a never-ending cycle, and I don’t think she’ll ever let go.”
“Walk away.” As much as he loved Eve, Liam felt for Alex in that moment.
Alex shook his head. “Can’t.”
“What happened between the two of you?” He’d never had the full story. As far as he could tell, Adam and Jake didn’t know either.
“I chose an op over her. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but the consequences…god. I’ll never forgive myself, Li. And she can’t forgive me, either. If you give a damn about this girl Avery, tell her who you are. If you think for one second that you have a shot at a life with her, that you could love her, tell her before the betrayal is too much for her to take.”
“I can’t. The mission,” Liam started. He’d thought about it a hundred times.
“Will go on without her. She doesn’t have ties to Nelson. The most she can do is help out MI6 a little. We’ve already gotten everything from her we can. She doesn’t know anything else. She can very quietly disappear, and she’ll be out of it.” Alex sounded so reasonable.
“Ian would fire me.” That argument was having less and less weight in Liam’s mind.
Alex waved that thought off. “Ian’s bark is worse than his bite. If he didn’t fire Adam and Jake, he won’t fire you. Look, I can’t tell you how to live your life. I just know how you look at her.”
“She doesn’t know who I am.” Liam finally admitted the real problem. “When she finds out, she won’t want me. I’m a bastard.”
“Yeah, you were. And then you met her. We don’t know who we really are until we meet the people we’re supposed to be with. They can drag us down or they can lift us up. Maybe you don’t know who you are anymore because you’re changing. If you let yourself love this woman, you’ll be a different person. You’ll be the person Avery made you, and you might find you like that man quite a bit. You’ve already opened up in ways I wouldn’t have imagined. Just think about it, okay?” Alex stood up and opened his locker. “I have to get ready. I think Eve and I are going to scene for your girl tonight.”
Now that he knew a little about what was going on between them, it seemed like a terrible thing to do. “You don’t have to. I’m just going to walk her around for a while and then take her to a privacy room and introduce her to some bondage. Alex, you don’t have to do this.”
But Alex turned, pulling his leathers out. “It’s all right, man. It’s only what I deserve.”
Liam reached into his own locker, his anger from before easing to low ache. What did he deserve? Certainly not Avery. But he’d never been a man to settle for what he deserved. He was a man who took what he wanted.
Chapter Thirteen
Avery blinked in the low light of the club. The Garden itself was completely different from the posh, traditional lobby. The outer rooms of The Garden looked like any number of hotel lobbies, but the inner room was unlike anything Avery had ever seen. It was a massive greenroom whose plants were all night bloomers. Stone floors were beneath her feet, but the smell of jasmine filled the air. Moonlight streamed into the room from an enormous skylight that seemed to go through the center of the whole building.
It was like she’d stepped into an alien world.
She watched with wide eyes as a diminutive woman in thigh-high boots walked past tugging on the leash of a massive man in leather undies.
Eve moved over, leaning her head close to be heard over the thumping music. “You should really prepare yourself for just about anything in this place.”
She was starting to see that. Whatever she’d imagined The Garden would be, it wasn’t this lush temple to sensory decadence. She looked around hoping to find Lee. Two steps out of the locker room and she already wanted his hand in hers. She felt weird and exposed without him. Like she didn’t belong.
Avery wished she’d taken Eve’s advice seriously. She really couldn’t breathe. The black and scarlet corset she found herself in was its own form of torture device. And the thong thingee kind of sucked, too. She had no idea why any woman would want to wear undies designed to be shoved between her butt cheeks.
“Are you all right?” Eve asked, her dark eyes lit with mirth.
Avery smiled back. Eve didn’t seem like a woman who smiled much. If her discomfort brought Eve a little amusement, then maybe it was a good thing. “I think my boobs are going to come out. Are they really supposed to be around my neck?”
Her boobs were big enough, but the corset took her to epic levels. She didn’t look pretty like Eve did. She looked overblown. Eve looked sleek and neat in her corset. Avery felt like she was going to pop out. And Liam hadn’t left her any shoes. Eve was taller in the first place, but after she put on her stilettos, Eve’s legs looked like they were a mile long. Avery felt like a hobbit someone had stuffed into lingerie.