“I was in and out for a couple of years. But then I qualified for this experimental surgery. It was perfect because the doctors and hospitals involved had grants to cover the costs of everything, and I didn’t have to depend on insurance anymore. And within a year, I was walking, really walking again. I met this man named Brian Molina and he introduced me to Thomas, my boss, and now I’m seeing the world and I have a whole new life. I guess those years feel a little lost to me. I was closed down. I wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship.”
And the hesitance in her voice told him she might not be ready now, but he was going to push her. She was on the edge. He couldn’t play it cool with her. With any other woman, he would pull back, let her come to him. He would allow her to pursue so she understood that he could take her or leave her and all the proper expectations could be set.
But this was a job. And when he’d sat up half the night thinking about her, he’d realized he didn’t even want to treat her with his usual careful distance. He wanted to get her close.
Deep in the night, he’d acknowledged the fact that he wanted this time with her. He would walk away when it was over, but he was going to enjoy her while she was here. Just for a few days, he wouldn’t be the righteous bastard he’d been for the last ten years. He was going to indulge in the man he might have been. Open. Caring. Worthy of someone like Avery.
He tilted her head up, bringing her face to meet his. Adam had apparently taken her to a makeup counter. She’d put on makeup, but it only enhanced her already sweet features.
She wasn’t the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Not even close. He’d been with so many lovely women, younger and thinner. So why did she call to him? Why had he sat up all night with an aching cock and a guilty conscience?
He shoved the conscience aside. It was an unwanted intrusion. And the aching cock wouldn’t go away until he’d had her. Which he intended to do very soon.
“We can take this as slowly as you want, but I need to put my cards on the table. I want to be honest with you.” God, he was a bastard, but it was kind of the truth. He wanted to be honest with her. He simply couldn’t. “Any sexual relationship with me is going to involve Dominance and submission. I can play it vanilla for a while, but not forever. I need control.”
That wasn’t a lie. He couldn’t handle being out of control. He’d been a bit of a control freak before the incident that took his brother’s life. He was so much worse now.
“Vanilla?” Avery asked, humor in the tilt of her mouth.
Yes, he’d spent way too much time in clubs. He’d forgotten some people didn’t understand the language. “That’s the kink term for plain sex. The type that doesn’t involve bondage and a promise of submission.”
“So what does the sub get in return for all this submission?”
That was easy. “Multiple orgasms.”
Even in the low light, he could see the way her pupils dilated. She was sexually aroused by all the talk. “Well, I have to admit I never really liked vanilla. I’m more of a strawberry girl.”
Thank god for that. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers, reveling in the soft feel of her. Everything about Avery was soft and feminine. He let his hand come up to sink into her hair. She’d put it up in a ponytail, but he liked it down and long. It was best to begin as he meant to go. Teaching Avery to submit to him, to obey him in certain circumstances without question, just might save her life. Yeah, that was how he could justify it. He pulled the ponytail out, the soft brown tresses tumbling past her shoulders. “Wear your hair down for me. I like it long.”
She shivered a little. Her mouth played along his. She was getting bolder about being affectionate. “I guess I can do that.”
He tugged just a little on her hair, fisting it lightly. “You’ll do it to please me. You’ll do it because I find it sexy and beautiful.”
Her voice was soft, just a little shaky. “Yes. I will.” There was a stubborn tilt to her chin. “Do I get to make any demands? I know I’m supposed to be the submissive one, but I might need things, too. I don’t think I like the idea that you just control me, but you get to do anything you like.”
“Ah, but that’s because you don’t understand the power exchange. Note that I used the word exchange. Listen, there are as many different ways to practice BDSM as there are people who practice it. I like to play. I like to know that my lover will turn to me when she needs something. I’ll want to protect you. And I like to give you what you need. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel necessary.” He hadn’t thought about it before. He’d first investigated the lifestyle because he needed a way to focus Rory and teach him control. His brother had enjoyed the power, but not the obligations of a Dom, and Liam had found a place where he fit. He’d enjoyed it for its honest communication. But now, he meant everything he said. He suddenly wanted to be necessary to this woman. Even if only for a little bit. “So tell me what you need. This won’t work if you don’t talk to me.”
She sighed. “I’ve really only had one relationship before. Brandon and I were so young. I don’t guess we really talked about stuff like sex.” She flushed, the pink in her cheeks doing nothing to mar her prettiness. “It’s hard to talk about this.”