For the first time since it had happened, she didn’t regret the loss of that future—because it hadn’t included Cooper.
Quietly, determined to be as upfront with him as she could be, Phoenix said, “After the attack, I withdrew. You know that much. I couldn’t seem to face anyone and that included David. He didn’t understand. How could he? At first he postponed the wedding, thinking I just needed time.”
Cooper said not a word, and though he barely moved, somehow both their bowls ended up on the coffee table and his arms were around her.
She burrowed closer, glad for a way to hide her face.
To hide her shame.
“I hurt him so badly,” she admitted, her throat suddenly tight. “I know that, just as I know he deserved better.”
With his chin on top of her head, Cooper said, “I think you did what you had to do to cope. There’s no disgrace in that, honey.”
Oh, how she wished that were true, but facts were facts. “Strangers destroyed my world...and then I destroyed his.”
Though she tried to refuse, his hand lifted her chin, relentlessly insistent until she met his gaze.
“That’s nonsense. You and I are both proof that people are resilient. If he hasn’t recovered by now, he will soon. Life goes on, you know, sometimes even when you wish it wouldn’t.”
The stark words made her heart skip a beat. Had Cooper wanted to die after he lost his wife? She hated that thought.
“And,” he said, his mouth touching gently to hers, “if it wasn’t meant to be, it’s better that you ended it before marriage.”
She’d often told herself the same, but it was small solace when she thought of David’s face, of all the ways he’d tried to convince her to stay with him. She groaned at the image. “I hope he’s found someone else. Someone better.”
“Shh. Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” She’d face reality even if he wouldn’t.
“Some people belong together and some don’t. It’s not about being better, it’s about finding the right one.”
That was a sober reminder that Cooper had found the right one—and she’d been taken from him. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to have a pity party.” God knew he’d lost so much more.
“Hey.” He drew her face up again, this time so he could kiss her until she softened. “I’m glad you shared with me. I want you to. Anytime, okay?”
It had felt good to talk, to get some of the regret off her chest. She’d never be free of the shame, but sharing it had somehow shaved off the ragged edges. “All right, thank you.” That sounded ridiculous, so she added with a mock frown, “Now let’s eat this ice cream before it melts.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He used a remote to scroll through the channels until he came across Alien with Sigourney Weaver.
“Oh, this is one of my favorites,” Phoenix said.
Surprised, Cooper paused. “You like horror?”
She grinned at him. “My whole family loves scary movies. My grandma always claimed that my mom teased her with Ridley’s name because it’s so close to Sigourney’s character, Ellen Ripley, but without being quite there.”
One brow lifted. “Because your grandmother liked horror, too?”
“Of course. When Ridley and I would visit, we’d play outside all day, fish in the pond and stuff, then settle down with popcorn and homemade milkshakes in front of the TV. We got to take turns picking movies. Grandma’s only rule was there couldn’t be a lot of sex or nudity.”
“That rules out most horror.”
“I know.” She leaned closer, as if sharing a confidence. “Ridley and I used to sneak and watch the forbidden movies whenever we got a chance.”
Cooper laughed. “Hell of an education for a kid.”
She grinned, feeling incredibly lighthearted as he settled in with her to watch.
They were engrossed in the movie, the ice cream gone, the room dark, when on the screen, a face-grabbing alien dropped on Ripley’s shoulder. Phoenix didn’t mean to, but she jerked so sharply, she almost cracked Cooper in the nose.
Mortification erupted in a strangled laugh. Good grief, she’d seen the movie a dozen times and knew that scene was coming...and still it got her. “I’m so sorry!” She cupped his face. “Did I hurt you?”
“Actually, you startled me more than the alien did.”
Heat burned in her cheeks. “That scene gets me every time.”
Now looking concerned, he asked, “Are you sure the movie won’t bother you later?”
Phoenix batted her lashes at him, and said in her most innocent voice, “You mean because I’m a frail little woman who has to sleep alone?”
“You don’t have to. You’re more than welcome to—”
Knowing she’d accidentally put him on the spot, she interjected with, “Will it scare you?”
He grinned. “As long as no one is flailing next to me, I think I’ll hold up okay.”
Playfully, she punched his shoulder. “I didn’t flail.”
“What would you call it?”
“Mildly startled?” At his grunt, she couldn’t help laughing. “If a scary movie doesn’t leave you trembling, why do you think it would bother me? It’s not like an actual alien will creep into my cabin tonight.”
He gave her a firm kiss. “Point taken. Sorry if I offended.”
Her heart swelled. “I don’t offend that easily.” Actually, it was nice to have someone who cared.
Someone other than her bossy and outrageous older sister.
They got comfortable again, staying quiet until the next commercial. Then he picked up as if there’d been no interruption at all. “Even though a horror veteran and a cheesy movie won’t spook you, you’re welcome to stay here.”
Had he been stewing on that for the last ten minutes? Seemed so. And oh, how the idea tempted her.
But she knew she couldn’t stay.
Not for much longer.
Soon, she promised herself.
Hoping for a casual air, she smiled up at him. “Thanks, but I’d rather not risk gossip. It’s better if I come from my cabin tomorrow morning, same as I always do.”
“Better for who?”
For you, she wanted to say, but didn’t. “I’m sure everyone already knows we’re seeing each other, but I’d rather they not know how fast we’re moving.”
“Fast? Seems to me it’s been excruciatingly slow—but I won’t pressure you tonight.”
Tonight. Did that mean he planned to pressure her tomorrow? If so, she’d decide then what to do. She’d had such a wonderful time, she didn’t want to chance spoiling the rest of the evening.
During commercials, they talked—and kissed a lot. Then when the movie returned, she sat in his embrace. He touched her hair, stroked her hip and occasionally palmed her breasts. She breathed in his scent, soaked up his warmth, while his chest repeatedly drew her curious fingers...and her lips.
In so many ways, the entire evening felt perfect.
She was so cozy, so content that by the time the movie ended, she was almost asleep. When Cooper caught her yawning, she saw in his eyes that he wanted to try to convince her to stay over.
It was a good thing he didn’t, because with all her defenses down, she might have caved. She forced her feet to the floor and her butt off the couch. “Time for me to get dressed.”
“Now, that is a crime.” He eyed her legs. “Will you believe me when I say you’d look amazing in a bikini?”
Phoenix snorted a laugh. “Thank you, but I’ll stick with my old reliable one-piece.” After a deep stretch, she headed down the hall. Already, she felt familiar with his home. He kept it clean, but not necessarily tidy. He liked things a certain way, set up for functionality rather than presentation.
She, on the other hand, was all about how things looked. If she lived here, she’d—
Good Lord. Though Cooper was behind her, her face went hot. He’d offered her one night to stay over, but he wasn’t asking for a roommate. She’d do well to remember that.
Sex, she reiterated to her tired brain as she stepped into the bedroom. Great sex. Phenomenal sex.
Sex...that felt like so much more?
No. No, no, no—
“What’s wrong?”
In the middle of her silent denials, she spun to face him, mortified to think he might know her thoughts. “What do you mean?”