“You don’t owe me any explanations.” She leaned forward, holding his hand in both of hers. “You loved her, Cooper. A part of you will always love her.” She gave him a sad smile. “Just as a part of you will always mourn.”
After a long look, he seemed to settle more comfortably in his chair. “For the first year I was a complete bastard. I hated everyone and everything. I raged often, even at my own family.”
She understood that. Hadn’t she turned away from everyone who loved her? “I’m sure each person reacts differently to grief.” Hers was to hide away. “Yours was a show of anger.”
“I got into too many fights—or more like brawls.” With a short laugh, he said, “I’d frequent all the local dives, but I rarely drank. Mostly I waited for an opportunity...”
To let go of some of his hurt. She nodded. “Go on.”
“I almost got arrested once, but the guy I’d knocked out was a serious asshole who needed it, so instead the cop told me to go home and not return.”
Wow. She’d felt his confidence, especially when he’d faced off with three grown men he’d called boys, but she’d never imagined that he’d honed his skills with actual bar brawls.
“The second year,” he continued, “wasn’t much better, but at least I got my temper under control. I was still pissed at the world, but I kept it in check.”
“That took a lot of willpower.” Did he know that she admired him?
Apparently not, given his shrug. “The third year... I came here.”
“Cooper’s Charm?”
“That’s not what it was called then, but yeah. Giving up my nine-to-five job was a relief. I could hide here.”
Sadness stole her breath. “Surrounded by people?”
His gaze bored into hers, seeing far too much. “Sometimes that’s the best place to hide, because others don’t realize what you’re doing. For a proud person, the perception matters.”
Knowing he meant her, she sucked in a breath, and her glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose. “I suppose it does.”
With a small smile, he reached out and straightened them, then smoothed her hair before sliding his fingers around to cradle her skull. “When we leave here, we’ll go back to my house.”
For sex, she reminded herself. “Okay.” It was important to remember that this was about sex and only sex—especially after he’d just shared such a private history with her.
His hand fell away and he sat back in his seat, no longer touching her at all. “When I said I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, I meant that I put away most of my wife’s photos.”
A tidal wave of shame washed over her. She felt like an interloper. “But you didn’t have to—”
“I know, but I did it for me, too.” Withdrawing his wallet, he pulled out several bills and laid them on the table. “As you said, I’ll always love Anna.”
“Of course.” Why did the assurance make her so gloomy?
He stood to pull back her chair. “But I don’t want to mourn anymore.”
9
“Should we check on Sugar first?”
Cooper glanced at her, maybe gauging her mood. “Trust me, like all other females, she adored him at first sight. She immediately rolled over so he could rub her belly.”
Phoenix felt her face go warm. “All females, huh?”
Without taking his eyes from the road, he reached over and clasped her knee. “Present company excluded—I hope.”
It seemed wicked to enjoy his small show of jealousy, but enjoy it she did. “Daron is handsome, funny, and yes, sexy.” But he’s not you. “He’s also a giant flirt, so I’m not sure any woman should take him too seriously.”
“That’s another reason he willingly agreed to dog-sit. He said cute puppies are like chick magnets.”
She laughed. “Like he needs any help with that.”
As he pulled up to his house, he said softly, “Phoenix?”
“Hmm?” She looked down at the park, now cast in the glow of the lowering sun. The reflection off the lake seemed to glimmer everywhere, on each RV, the maintenance building, the creek.
He turned off his truck and shifted to face her. “You’re not nervous, are you?”
Nervous, anxious, impatient...all of those. “No,” she lied.
She could tell he didn’t believe her, but he got out and circled the hood of the truck. She already had her door open and stepped out as he reached her.
A child shouted happily from the lake, drawing their attention.
Cooper started them toward the house. “I still need to get you into a bikini.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” He’d made several comments about her physical appeal, and while she liked her body just fine—extra pounds and all—she couldn’t help but worry that he might be disappointed. Not worried enough that she wanted to have sex in the dark or under the covers. No, she wanted them both naked with enough light for her to study him all over.
She shivered.
Unlocking the kitchen door, which he almost always used rather than his front door, he asked, “Why not a bikini?”
They stepped into the interior, and Phoenix said, “It’s just not me.” She set her purse on the counter, then laced her fingers together to keep from reaching for him. “Besides, I don’t swim very often, so my ancient one-piece will have to do—”
In a single move, Cooper turned her and pinned her to the door, his mouth coming down on hers, ending her explanations. With one hand beside her head, he braced himself. With the other he cupped her face, gently holding her captive as he took the kiss from soft and exploring to hot and hungry.
She needed no more prompting than that, spreading her fingers over his shoulders, down his solid chest, his waist, to the hem of his shirt—and then inside.
God, his skin was hot, and she pushed the shirt up as she explored. She loved the soft hair in the center of his chest, how his small nipples tightened as she touched them.
He groaned into her mouth, then lifted his head, his breath coming fast. “Here.” He reached back and stripped the shirt away.
Phoenix made her own small sound of pleasure. “You are a feast for the eyes, Cooper.” Watching the progress of her hands now, she stroked him, lightly grazing her nails over him, squeezing muscles and tracing firm contours and dips.
She looked up into his eyes, heavy-lidded now, dark, and whispered, “Take off your pants, too.”
Briefly, he closed his eyes. “Not a problem, but let’s go to the bedroom. If anyone knocks on the door...”
“I don’t want to share you,” she agreed—then her gaze automatically went to his wife’s photo on the desk.
Either Cooper didn’t notice or he didn’t care. He already had her hand, tugging her out of the kitchen and down the hall. They passed the now familiar laundry room and a bathroom, went through his living room—which she saw for the first time—and then past a guest bedroom that he’d set up as a workout room, filling it with weights, bars and other equipment—all of it neatly organized.
He moved so quickly, Phoenix was nearly running to keep up, but that suited her fine. He drew her into a large, sparse room at the back of the house. A king-sized bed dominated the area, with dark wood nightstands flanking it, a matching dresser and armoire. Blinds covered the windows, but no curtains. The closet door stood ajar, and the door leading to the connecting bath was wide-open.
It was a masculine space, but bare in the extreme. No decorating, no woman’s touch...and no personal photos.
He removed his wife’s photo for me.
No, she would not let regret intrude. Not now. Drawing breath, she faced Cooper and said succinctly, “Pants.”
“First, this,” he murmured, and slowly—maybe to make sure she wouldn’t protest—peeled her laced tank off over her head.
She’d dressed more carefully for the date, in the nicest tank top she owned with slim-fitting Capri jeans and slightly heeled sandals. Underneath she wore a matching bra and panties in a soft shade of blue that complemented her eyes.
She quickly straightened her glasses, not wanting to miss a thing. And wow, was it worth seeing.
Cooper stood back from her, his gaze touching everywhere, lingering in places as his breathing deepened. Beneath the fly of his jeans, she saw the heavy ridge of an erection.
His shoulders flexed, as if he held himself back. “Damn, you’re gorgeous.”