Your Next Breath

She nodded and went into his arms. “Optimistic skepticism,” she said, as her arms tightened around him. “It couldn’t be anything else considering what he told us previously. But we know better, don’t we, Joe?”

 

 

“I hope we do.” He looked back at Caleb, sitting by Jane’s bed. “God, I hope we do. Should we kick him out until after the operation? Jane rests better when he’s not in the room.”

 

“No, I think we should leave instead. Maybe it’s better if he keeps her stirred up. All I know is that he’s healing her, and I don’t care how he’s doing it.” She linked her arm with Joe’s and pulled him out of the room. “And he has a little more time to give Basle a head start…”

 

*

 

“Why don’t you go, too?” Jane asked Caleb as she watched Joe and Eve leave the room. “That doctor tired me out. I’m going to take a nap.”

 

“Go ahead.” Caleb smiled. “But I’m staying. You should be used to me by now.”

 

That was an understatement. He had been so close to her mentally and emotionally during the last days that she almost felt he was a part of her. A disturbing part that she fought against but couldn’t push away. “I don’t need you here, Caleb.”

 

“Yes, you do. My work’s not done yet.” He tilted his head. “Every minute counts. I think Eve senses that and wants me to have my chance at saving you. Otherwise, she’d be in here.”

 

“I’m surprised she’s not.” She smiled crookedly. “Eve is sure that you brought me back from the pearly gates. It’s a done deal as far as she’s concerned.”

 

“You’re wrong, she’s still scared. She won’t give up trying until you walk out of this hospital. She told me that before you were shot, you were getting better about accepting Trevor’s death. It was slow, but you were on your way. But the attack came at just the wrong time. You reached out and grabbed at what you thought fate was handing you.” His lips twisted. “And you’re so damn stubborn, I had to pry you away from it. Now she’s afraid you’re going to slip back.” He added deliberately, “No, not slip, turn back.”

 

She wearily shook her head. “I won’t do that. I know it’s not going to happen now. That I can’t let it happen. Eve’s had enough tragedy in her life. I can’t be that selfish. It was wrong of me.”

 

“But so tempting,” Caleb said mockingly. “You’re right, it’s not going to happen. If you take a step back, I’ll be there to pull you forward.”

 

“And I’ll tell you to stay the hell out of my way. I’m in control now, Caleb.”

 

“Not yet. That’s why you’ve got to fight to get out of that bed. As long as you’re lying there pale and sickly, I won’t leave you. The only way to get rid of me is to get rid of all signs of illness.”

 

“Then you can be sure I’ll definitely work on it,” she said grimly.

 

“I know.” His smile faded. “You used to be only a little afraid of me. But that’s changed, hasn’t it?”

 

“I’m not afraid of you. I just don’t like that you interfered with my life.”

 

“Not your life; I interfered with your death.” His voice was suddenly fierce. “Get used to it. That’s one interference that won’t go away. After you’ve beaten back this attack, there will be others. I won’t leave you, I’ll stand beside you, until every one of Santos’s men is in hell. I’ll never let death have you. I’ll fight, and I’ll win.”

 

She was stunned by the sheer power he was generating. She tried to dismiss it, to ignore what he was making her feel. “You already won that battle. So just go away, Caleb. I don’t want—” She stopped. As usual, his passion had sparked her own emotions to an equally high level, and she was saying things that even to her sounded unreasonable and self-absorbed. “I know I should be grateful to you for all your time and effort trying to save me. I will be grateful. Just give me time to become accustomed to—”

 

“Screw your gratitude. We both know that’s not what I want. I saved you because I had to save you. Now be quiet and let me concentrate. Your Dr. Basle is arranging to have his staff prep you for the operation, but I’ve got to do my own prep before he takes over.”

 

He was already concentrating, she realized as she studied his expression. She was being wrapped in that dark, pulsing flow that was both soothing and energizing. She smiled shakily. “No nap for me?”

 

“Basle will let you sleep. Right now, I’ve got work to do. Put yourself in my hands. I’ll never fail you.”

 

“Won’t you?” She closed her eyes. “That sounded remarkably like something Trevor would say.”

 

“I’m nothing like Trevor. I’ll never be him even if that’s what he wants. You’ll have to take me the way I am.”

 

“Or not at all.”

 

“Shh. Worry about that later. Just a few more adjustments…”

 

*

 

“Dammit, Basle should be finished by now,” Joe said harshly. “How long is it going to take?”

 

“He said that it wasn’t going to be easy.” Eve took a drink of her coffee. How many cups had she had during these last five hours? “Think positive. He’s being careful, and that takes time.”

 

“And I shouldn’t be this on edge and mouthing off.” Joe grimaced. “Sorry. I’d just like to be in there and making sure that I couldn’t do anything to help.”

 

“And running the show,” Eve said. “I’m afraid that you’d have to have a couple decades of medical education and experience to have Basle step aside for you.” She glanced at Caleb, who was leaning against the wall; his intense gaze focused on the operating room. He had scarcely moved from that position during the last five hours, but she didn’t sense that he was as on edge as she and Joe. “How about you, Caleb? I’d think you’d be the one to want to burst into that operating room.”

 

He smiled sardonically. “Because I’m not as cool and controlled as Joe? You’re right, I’m a savage when things aren’t going my way. But this is going my way. So I’m just monitoring it, so that it continues on that path.”