Xo: A Kathryn Dance Novel

“After you left him, did you have a problem with him calling you, following you? Harassing you?”

 

 

“No. I mean he’d call sometimes about something he’d left at my apartment, and we’d taken out a loan together and we had to talk about that, sign some papers. But, stalking, no, nothing like that. Only one thing? You said when I left him. That’s not what happened. He left me.”

 

Dance could have kicked herself. And earlier she’d been mentally chastising P. K. Madigan for leading Edwin during the interview; here she was doing exactly the same.

 

“Tell me what happened.”

 

“He just said the relationship wasn’t working. I was pretty bummed. He wasn’t, you know, real ambitious. He never wanted to be more than a security guard or work retail. But he was romantic and he was dependable. He didn’t drink and he’d pretty much given up smoking when I was with him.”

 

“So he used to smoke,” Dance said, thinking of her own voyeur in the park near the motel.

 

“Yeah, but only when he was stressed. So, he left and I was pretty bummed out for a couple of months.”

 

“Did he go out with anybody else?”

 

“Not really. He dated a few girls. I don’t know who. We fell out of touch.”

 

“One last question. Did you ever see him get violent or lose control?”

 

A pause. “Yeah, I did.”

 

“Tell me.”

 

Sally explained, “Okay, once me and my girlfriend and Edwin were walking down the street and this drunk guy came up, I mean, way, way drunk. And he called us sluts. And Edwin goes up to him and shouts, ‘Apologize right now, you asshole.’ And the guy did.”

 

Dance waited. “That was it? He never hit this man?”

 

“Oh, no. Edwin’d never do that. I mean, he’s scary-looking, sure. Those eyebrows, you know. And he’s big. But he’d never hurt anybody. Look, there’s a lot Edwin doesn’t get, you know what I mean? He’s kind of like a kid. That’s part of what makes him so charming, though.”

 

Hardly a word Dance would use. But she’d given up trying to figure out what made couples click.

 

Dance thanked the young woman and disconnected. She jotted a summary of the conversation into her notebook. So, what do I make of this? A relatively normal relationship with one woman didn’t mean he couldn’t stalk another. But stalking was habitual. For Sally to be involved for a year and to live with him for part of that time yet not see any danger signs was significant.

 

On the other hand, he’d exhibited some obsessive interest in music and performers.

 

But then, Dance admitted, so did she. Hence, her trip to casa de Villalobos with her tape recorder here in beautiful downtown Fresno during the dog days of September.

 

After a furtive examination of the park revealed no cigarette-smoking surveillance, Dance took a shower. She dried off and slipped into the Mountain View bathrobe, which the sign announced ironically she was free to take with her for $89.95.

 

Dance curled up in the sumptuous bed. Who needed views of snowy peaks when the furniture was so opulent?

 

She now wished Jon Boling were here with her. She was thinking of the recent overnight trip they’d taken to Ventana, the beautiful, surreal resort in the cliffs near Big Sur, south of Carmel. The trip had been a milestone—it was the first time she’d told the children that she and Boling were going away overnight.

 

She offered nothing more about the trip and the news was greeted with no interest whatsoever by either Wes or Maggie. At their ages, though, the broader implications had probably been lost on them. But their bored response was a huge victory for Dance, who’d stressed about their reaction to the fact Mom was traveling with another man. (Wes worried her most; Maggie wanted her mother to get married again so she could be “best woman.”)

 

The weekend away had been wonderful and Dance had been pleased that the last holdout of widowhood—the discomfort with intimacy—was finally vanishing.

 

She wanted Boling here now.

 

And was thinking it curious that they hadn’t spoken for two days. They’d traded messages but voicemail had reared its head at every instance. She was involved in a murder investigation so she had an excuse, she reflected. But Boling was a computer consultant. She wasn’t quite sure why he was so inaccessible.

 

Dance called her parents, chatted with her father for a few minutes then asked to speak to the children.

 

It was a pure comfort, pure joy, hearing their voices. Dance found she was smiling to herself as they rambled on enthusiastically about their days at camp. She laughed when they signed off with a “Loveyoumom” (Maggie) and “Gottagoseeya” (Wes), verbal signals perfectly defining the differing parent-child relationships at the moment.

 

Then her mother came on the phone. Edie reported that Dance’s father was finishing up some work at her house in Pacific Grove to get it ready for the party she was hosting this weekend; house guests would be staying for a few days, after driving down from San Jose on Saturday.

 

And then there was a pause.

 

Dance tried not to practice her profession in her personal life. Nothing ruins a date faster than a man saying he’s divorced as he leans forward and looks her in the eye—a complete deviation from his earlier baseline behavior. (One of her favorite Kayleigh Towne songs, “The Truth About Men,” was a hilarious look at how that gender tends to be, well, less than forthright.)

 

But now she noted that something was up.

 

“How’s it going there?” Edie Dance offered some clumsy verbal padding.

 

“Good. Fresno’s actually kind of interesting. Parts of it are. There’s a real-estate development built around a runway. You get a hangar for your plane, instead of a garage. Well, maybe you get a garage too. I didn’t look.”

 

Throughout Kathryn Dance’s life, her mother had been kind and fair but also resolute, opinionated, unyielding and at times exasperating. Get to the point, Dance thought.

 

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