But there was something wrong—not with the baby but with the group. Audra had sensed a shift in the past few weeks, but only now did she understand what was going on.
“We have to go to the clinic,” Gypsy said, motioning for Audra to get herself together and come downstairs. Clover had been posing as Audra for the past couple of months, smiling and presenting Audra’s driver’s license at the front desk. Nobody had asked questions. But now something had changed. “The prescription ran out,” Gypsy announced. “So you’re gonna have to fix it.”
And so they went to the clinic to fix it. Except it didn’t go the way the family had planned.
Now, with Audra sitting in the back of her own hatchback while Gypsy sped away from the pharmacy, the tension was worse than ever. Three months without seeing the outside world, and her reintroduction had taken place at a clinic counter. Her prescription couldn’t be refilled, nor could it be extended for a week, or even a few days. I don’t even take them, she wanted to say, but she had held her tongue and given the girl a pleading look.
“I’m sorry,” the counter girl said with an apologetic shake of the head. Audra could see her gaze bouncing from Jeff to Clover to Gypsy, the three of them seated in the small waiting area behind her. The girl leaned in with a murmur. “You shouldn’t be taking those types of pills while you’re with child, Ms. Snow. Have you spoken to your doctor? Is he aware you’re expecting?”
The answer was clear. No, her physician wasn’t aware of the baby. If he had been, the prescriptions would have been different, and they certainly wouldn’t have been expired.
“Please,” Audra said, “just refill it this once. Just a couple of days’ worth so I can make a doctor’s appointment. I haven’t had time to see him. If my father finds out I’m not . . .” She quieted herself, having said too much. Would it be so bad if her dad found out? Maybe this was exactly what she needed—a change of routine to alert him that something was wrong. He’d drive down or at least call. And while she was sure that her phone call would be monitored by someone looming over her shoulder, maybe she could let him know she needed his help in some secret, undetectable way.
Staring down at the counter, the receptionist discreetly slid a slip of paper Audra’s way.
Do you need help?
I don’t know, she wanted to scream. I don’t think so, but I’m scared. I hope not, but I’m terrified.
“I have to go,” she mumbled. “I’ll be back.”
“O-okay.” The counter girl looked worried as Audra turned away. Jeffrey stood from his seat, followed by Gypsy and Clover in kind. Jeff pushed the door open with the soft ding of a bell while Clover and Gypsy rushed her out of the building and back into the car.
“What the hell happened?” Jeff demanded after Gypsy pulled the hatchback onto the road. “Where are the pills?”
“The prescription is expired.” Audra spoke toward her hands. Perhaps, had they not locked her up for so long, she would have realized it was up for renewal. And yet, for some reason, she couldn’t help but blame herself for the mistake. Maybe now they’d really abandon her, except they’d take the baby with them and Audra would be left empty and alone.
Part of her believed it would be better that way. Just give them the baby and forget this life. You were never meant to be part of this family. And you were never meant to have a family of your own. Maybe her dark fantasy of her mother finding her hanged in the summer home would come true after all. Except that a year and a half ago, her suicide would have been a way to spite her parents for their neglect. Now, killing herself would be nothing more than a cowardly way out of her own hopelessly lonely life. Because if a man like Jeffrey couldn’t love her—a man who loved so many unconditionally—if her own mother couldn’t have been bothered to care, it meant that there was something truly wrong with Audra Snow.
If they do let you keep the baby, she thought, it’ll be a wonder if it’ll be able to love you, either. And then what? Would she grow to resent her own child? Is that what happened to her own mom?
Jeffrey sat motionless in the passenger seat for a long while, then slammed his hands against the dashboard in a rage, snapping Audra back to the present. It would be a matter of days, perhaps a week, before her father would know about the expired prescription. Even if Audra managed to get an emergency appointment with her physician, the medication would change. The red flag would fly. The family’s time in Pier Pointe was up. It was time to pack, time to move on. She only wondered if they’d take her with them. It was one thing to find a place for nine grown adults, but to find a new home not for ten people but for ten, a dog, and a newborn child? Impossible. No, it was too tall an order. They’d leave her. They had to. There was no other way.
“Fuck!” The profanity startled her as it came barreling out of Jeffrey’s throat. She’d never heard him curse like that before, had never seen him lose his cool so completely.
“It’s fine,” Gypsy said after a moment. “We’re close enough.”
“It couldn’t have been long now,” Clover added, her gaze drifting to Audra’s belly. “Maybe a week or two away.”
Audra furrowed her eyebrows at that. She shook her head, not understanding. “A week or two away from what?”
“From the birth,” Clover said.
“We have to deliver it now.” Gypsy’s voice was steady. “Today.”
“What?” Audra’s heart leaped up into her throat. “What are you talking about? Deliver it . . .”
“Don’t be afraid,” Clover said, reaching across the backseat to place her hand on Audra’s stomach. Audra slapped it away, as though Clover’s touch had stung. Clover’s expression went hard. She faced forward, glaring through the windshield.