“I’ve seen dozens of those jumpers around Washbridge. Even if the counterfeit squad was a thing, which it isn’t. And even if they decided to prosecute someone, which is unlikely. The person they’ll go after is Grandma. It certainly isn’t you.”
“I do hope you’re right, Jill. I don’t think I could survive for long on prison food.”
“I give you my word. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Winky was on the sofa, looking particularly sorry for himself.
“Good morning, Winky.”
“Not really.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Okay.”
“If you must know, my dinner date didn’t go very well last night.”
“What went wrong?”
“If you ask me, she made a mountain out of a molehill. It was a simple mistake that anyone could have made.”
“I assume you’re talking about Trixie?”
“No. Daisy.”
“I thought it was Trixie who was coming over?”
“Therein lies the problem. I’d got it into my head that it was Trixie who was coming over for dinner, but it turned out to be Daisy. Halfway through the starter, I inadvertently called Daisy, Trixie.”
“Oh dear.”
“I managed to talk my way out of that one. I told her that Trixie was my cousin who I’d been talking to earlier.”
“And she bought that?”
“Yeah, but then I made the mistake of leaving my phone on the table while I went to get the dessert out of the fridge. Judy chose that precise moment to call me. Daisy saw the name come up on screen, and she totally lost the plot. I mean, there was no call for what she did.” He rubbed his head. “Have you ever tried to get jelly out of your fur?”
I couldn’t answer because I was laughing too much.
I intended to pay another visit to the bowling alley, but as it didn’t open until midday, I thought I’d spend an hour or so looking through the manuscript that Deloris Shuttlebug had kindly loaned to me. It was rather unimaginatively titled: Exotic Creatures of Candlefield.
“What’s that you’re reading?” Winky jumped onto my desk.
“I thought you were busy feeling sorry for yourself.”
“There’s no point in losing sleep over Daisy. I’ve still got Judy and Trixie. I’m more annoyed about the jelly. So, what is it you’re reading?”
“It’s a manuscript about the exotic creatures that live in Candlefield.”
“What’s that ugly looking thing?” He pointed to the open page.
“It’s a pouchfeeder. I had a run-in with one of those some time ago.”
“Rather you than me. Why the sudden interest in exotic creatures? Aren’t I exotic enough for you?”
“I’m trying to identify one in particular.”
Just then, Winky’s phone rang.
“Hi, babe. Of course I’ve missed you.” He jumped off my desk and disappeared under the sofa, to continue his conversation. For his sake, I hoped he didn’t get the names mixed up again.
The variety of creatures featured in the book was truly astounding. There were a few that I recognised: the scarlet horned dragon, for example. Some of them were terrifying; others, like the marmadellow, were unbearably cute. Cuthbert Shuttlebug had not only spent years on research, he’d also produced fabulous illustrations for the majority of creatures. The man had obviously been an accomplished artist.
And then I saw it: the aurochilla.
The illustration certainly resembled Fluff, and the accompanying text confirmed it.
Excited, I called Desdemona Nightowl.
“Headmistress, it’s Jill.”
“You sound very upbeat. Does that mean you have good news for me?”
“I think so.”
“Who is the thief? Please tell me that it isn’t one of the pupils.”
“I can put your mind at ease on that score.”
“Thank goodness. Who is it, then?”
“Would it be possible to come over and see you later today? I can fill you in then.”
“Of course. How about this afternoon?”
“That’ll be fine. Could we meet in the Nomad girls’ dorm?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Can you ensure that everyone who has had anything stolen is there?”
“I’m sure that can be arranged.”
“Oh, and headmistress, could you make sure Felicity Charming is there too?”
“Err—yes, I suppose so.”
“Great. See you later.”
Winky had finished on the phone and was looking much happier with life.
“Did you manage to remember her name this time?” I said.
“You know what they say about sarcasm, don’t you?”
“That it’s the highest form of wit?”
“You clearly think so. That was Judy. She invited me to go away with her this weekend.”
“Lucky you.”
“I had to tell her no, but she understood when I explained that I’d promised to be your pagecat.”
“Don’t worry your head about that. You should go with Judy.”
“Certainly not. I couldn’t let you down. My word is my bond. I promised to be there for your special day, and there I’ll be.”
Oh bum! Now I felt really bad.
***
Tommy wasn’t behind the counter in Wash Bowl today. Instead, a tall, slim young man, with curly hair and a beard, was talking on his phone while picking his teeth. Who said the young couldn’t multi-task?
“What size?” he said when he noticed me.
“Sorry?”
“What size shoes do you want?”
“I’m not here to bowl.”
“I can’t give you change for the vending machines.”
“I don’t need change. I’d like a word with Tommy.”
“It’s his day off. Gone t’zoo.”
“Gontzoo?”
He sighed. I was clearly testing his patience. “He’s gone t’zoo. Took his nipper to see giraffes and stuff.”
“The zoo? Right. Look, I spoke to Tommy yesterday about—”
“Sorry, babe, I’ve got to go,” he said into the phone, and then in a hushed voice. “There’s some weird woman here doing my nut in.”
“I’m very sorry to be doing your nut in, but I’d like to take a look backstage at the machinery.”
“Who are you, anyway?”
“I’m a private investigator. I spoke to Tommy yesterday.”
“He didn’t say anything to me about no private investor.”
“Investigator. Can you give him a call?”
“He’s gone t’zoo.”
“So?”
“If his phone rings, it might frighten the giraffes.”
“I just need a quick look around the back at the machinery that operates the skittles.”
“Pins. They’re called pins.”
“Whatever. Can I take a quick look?”
“No. H and S.”
“What?”
“Health and Safety. Only staff allowed back there.”
“You can accompany me.”
“I can’t leave this desk.”
“Is there anyone else on duty?”
“Just me. Tommy’s—”
“Gone t’zoo. Yeah, I know. Never mind.”
I was getting nowhere fast, so I found a quiet corner and made myself invisible.
Fortunately, the door to the machine room was unlocked. Once I was inside, I had to try to figure out which set of machinery belonged to the lanes where Jack and the others had been playing. I was still trying to work it out when a huge crash made me almost jump out of my skin. It took me a few seconds to realise that it was the sound of a bowling ball hitting the pins. Although it had scared me to death, it proved to be very helpful because I remembered that the only lane in use was the one three down from where Jack had played.
Having located the correct lane, I began to dig around. Jack had said the machinery at Wash Bowl was old, and he hadn’t been kidding. There was dust, grime and all manner of creepy crawlies back there. I was just beginning to think that my hunch had been wrong when I noticed that one of the small metal grilles was being held in place by only a single screw. I slid the grille to one side and poked my hand inside. It was even more gross in there, but then my fingers brushed against something. I had to practically dislocate my shoulder to get a grip on it, but I finally managed to pull it out.
***
As arranged, the headmistress was waiting for me outside the Nomad girls’ dorm.
“The others are inside, Jill.”
“Felicity too?”
“Yes, although I should warn you she’s a little tearful today. Have you seen that strange little creature of hers?”
“Fluff? Yes, he’s awfully cute.”
“That’s as maybe, but I’m afraid Felicity is going to have to release him at the end of the week. The school doesn’t allow unidentified creatures to be kept as pets.”