The dog stared back and snorted.
Allie pulled the dog away from her face. “I’m not in the market to get close to anything else right now. I’m taking a big chance with the old lady as it is.”
The pup snorted again, then whipped out her tongue and licked Allie’s cheek.
“Eww, gross!” Allie said, distancing her face from the animal even more. The pup continued to stare at her, but now she looked as though she was smiling.
Allie found herself smiling, too. “Crap. Okay,” she whispered, “but it better be safe to like you, you hear me?”
The pup’s tail beat furiously against her and she licked her again, making Allie feel warm inside. Then, Allie heard a whooshing sound and her leg began to feel warm, too.
“No, no, don’t pee on me!”
That night she lay in bed with the pup, watching her gnaw on a piece of knotted rope Miss Bitty had made for her. Every once in a while, the pup would stop and snort, reminding her of a pig.
“You sure do snort a lot,” she said.
The pup cocked its head and stared at her. Then she snorted again.
“I think I’m going to call you Piglet.”
She yipped and wagged her tail hard.
“You like that name?”
The puppy thumped her tail against the bed.
“And you like me, too, don’t you?”
The puppy let out another yip, then went back to gnawing on her rope.
Allie watched the puppy, her heart swelling. Miss Bitty had been right. She really was cute. “How could anyone in their right mind abandon you? Just leave you to die?”
She reached for the small dog and scratched behind her ears. The puppy leaned into her fingers, her tail thumping hard against the bed.
“You know, I lost my brother, too. It’s hard, but you’ll be okay. I think we both will.”
Piglet gazed into her eyes.
“I’m going to take really good care of you, li’l lady. Just you watch and see. Maybe I couldn’t help Petey, but I’ll help you.”
In bed that night, listening to “Lay, Lady, Lay,” Allie cradled a snoring Piglet in her arms. She slept peacefully, comforted by the puppy’s warm little body.
But in the wee hours of the night, her eyes fluttered open, and she thought she noticed the outline of someone standing in the doorway. She immediately squeezed her eyes closed. Whoever, or whatever, the hell you are, you are NOT going to ruin my brand-new life, she told herself.
Then she willed herself to fall asleep.
CHAPTER 34
AUTUMN ARRIVED, BRINGING orange leaves, crisp breezes, and inevitable . . . unwanted . . . change.
During the daytime hours, Bitty kept Allie busy with food preparation, cleaning, and client paperwork. Allie also took some of Miss Bitty’s self-care classes and learned cleansing practices like oil pulling, dry brushing, and meditation.
With Miss Bitty and Louis’s help, Allie felt better than she’d ever felt. More whole, certain of herself, and, best of all, she had finally convinced herself she was someone worthwhile.
Who cared how she looked, right? These days she spent as little time as possible in front of the mirror. Instead, she concentrated on other, more important, things.
Things she had some control over.
She was starting to finally feel some inner peace—and, for the first time, didn’t mind being alone very much, especially if she was with Piglet, which she nearly always was. The pup had become her sidekick—and the pup loved her unconditionally.
Over the weeks, Allie carefully studied how Miss Bitty interacted with everyone: with Big Joe, with Louis, with her various clients. Even with the guy who brought the gallon-sized bottles of filtered water and always asked for free nutrition advice. She found Miss Bitty was nice to everyone, no matter who they were, or what she could gain from them. She was the stark opposite of Allie’s mother in every way.
Everyone Miss Bitty met seemed to become family. They wanted to hang around, to linger. They wanted to bask in the woman’s energy because it was so good.
Miss Bitty was a healthy person, and she validated Allie. Allie now realized that validation was one of the things she’d always wanted from her brother but had never gotten. It was part of what had made her so angry with him. But it hadn’t been his fault. He’d been very sick. He’d had enough trouble taking care of his own self, much less been able to attend to Allie’s every need.
Allie only saw Hannah sporadically, whenever the girl wasn’t busy, which wasn’t very often. Hannah had made friends at school and joined the soccer team—which left little time for Allie. But it didn’t bother Allie much because she was genuinely enjoying her time with everyone at Miss Bitty’s.
At night, she and Miss Bitty would lie on the couch together and watch what the old woman called junk television: syndicated sitcoms or reality programming. Sometimes Big Joe or Louis would join them, but mostly they spent the time alone. It had become a comforting ritual Allie looked forward to.
Allie realized most teens would probably find her life boring, but she didn’t. Feeling safe and wanted trumped excitement by a landslide. Besides, she was working on herself. With Miss Bitty’s help she was becoming different; better.
People were actually going to like her now.
She no longer was the pariah she’d always been.
She was working hard on becoming the new Allie and, despite a few minor slipups, she was doing a good job. She was even starting to like the person she was becoming.
There was only one thing that cast a long shadow on all of the good. It was something that Allie had tried so hard to ignore, to compartmentalize and shove to the back of her mind. But it was no longer working. She needed to talk to someone about what she was hearing and seeing.
She needed some help.
Allie stepped barefoot onto the cool porch of the guesthouse.