I sink to the ground, and for one moment I pray it will swallow me whole and put me out of my God damn misery.
Do I sit here and wait for him to come finish me off? Or follow the music to what will only be another test, or trap, or some bullshit I’ve no control over?
Will I walk to my death?
Reid
Detective West folds down the lapel on my suit jacket, brushing over the material before snatching his hand back. The lines around his eyes appear more profound than they did the day I met him, and the grey colouration even more haunting. West looks fatigued, and I wonder if I look just as bad as he does.
“Reid, you need to forget about the call. Put it out of your mind for now. They’re ready for you in the loungeroom. Remember, just speak from your heart. Plead for the safe return of Morgan, and remember this is going out to every home in the country. A live broadcast. Any slip-ups could see us going backwards. Are you sure you can do this?”
I nod.
“I’ll be sitting right beside you. Hold your chin up and look right into the lens. Pour your heart out. Say something to Morgan, and if you think you can cry, do it. Compassion is everything in these situations.”
Cry. I can’t cry. I’m angry, blood-boiling angry. How did that fucker know I’d left the house? Gleaton—he’s involved. He must be. Do I voice this concern to West? Or is West also playing a part? I trust no one.
“Reid, are you listening?”
“Hmm.” Is how I respond, wrapped up in thought.
“Focus on what is happening now. You’re going live on television. Pleading for the safe return of Morgan.”
“I know,” I snap annoyed.
“Okay.”
“How did he know?” I say quietly.
“Know what? Who?”
“The call. How did Morgan's abductor know I’d left the house? Is it—”
“We’ve searched every room since, and there are no bugs to be found. We’re not sure, but we will find out.”
“Gleaton said—"
“Reid, we can discuss this later.”
Maloney stands at the entrance to Morgan’s library. “Gregory Stiles is here. I just saw him step out of a car. Would you like me to usher him into the lounge area?”
West swivels on his heel. “No. We’ll meet him at the door and offer introductions.” West nods, in a way that indicates Maloney should disappear, and he does.
“You can do this.” West pats my upper arm.
I can do this.
Walking beside West makes me feel like a soldier marching in line. I stop when he does, and shift my position until we are stilled, shoulder to shoulder as West opens the door and we stand in the doorway. Gregory has short blond hair. Wide shoulders. A groomed light stubble covers his chin as he closes in. He smiles. It’s only a half-hearted smile, but it’s directed at me.
“Detective West.” Gregory jumps up the steps to the veranda. His arm stretches out as he takes a long stride towards us. “Wish we were meeting again under more pleasant circumstances.” His fingers part, his hand still awaits that of West’s, who finally obliges, taking his offer of a handshake.
“It’s good to see you, Greg. And I agree, we need to stop meeting in circumstances like these.” Professionalism at its finest. They release their grip and put distance between each other.
“The boys are set. I’m ready when you are.” Greg’s posture is strong. His tone is controlled.
“Now is fine,” West says.
“Good. Mr Banks.” He turns his attention to me. “I’m Gregory Stiles, a reporter from Channel Sixty-One. I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. We will do all we can to help bring her home.” His arm outstretches again, this time an invitation to me. I nod as his firm grip squeezes against my knuckles.
“I know who you are. I’ve seen you on the television,” I mumble.
“Of course.” And there’s that half-hearted smile again.
“I also saw you on my lawn with the searchers.” I cock my eyebrows in question.
“Yes.” Greg’s voice is not as deep as I thought it would be for a man of his size. “It’s important to be connected with stories you report on.”
“Oh, okay,” I say. Greg seems genuinely concerned and caring.
I turn and stride towards the living area and become surprised by the hand now resting on my upper back, guiding me. There’s a soothing comfort to Greg’s touch, and the way he strides half a step behind me, offering me the lead. This gives me a sense of control, something I’ve not felt over the last couple of days.
“Reid, just remember to breathe and take your time. We have all the time in the world, and I can only imagine you will need to pace yourself so you can say what it is you want. Please do not cuss; we won’t be able to censor it while the broadcast is live. Just be genuine, and I’ll do the rest. I will keep my involvement to a minimum. It’s your floor. Let your heart speak.”
“Okay.” It’s a soft deliverance.
It’s mid-morning, and I’m sitting on the couch beside Kylee, who is next to Ronald, in our loungeroom. When did they arrive?
It’s all I think as I look away from the bright lights in front of me, the lights emitting so much heat I can feel sweat beads forming at my hairline. Maybe this jacket wasn’t such a good idea. West said it was. The feeling of suffocation is mixing with the nerves circling in my stomach. Maybe I can’t do this. I puff out my cheeks, slide my hand up and down my jeans leg. What am I going to say?
Greg takes a seat in a chair placed across from me just as West passes beside him and then sits on the opposite side of me on the couch. We’re packed in like a can of sardines, and this causes my temperature to rise further. I’m suffocating even more.
When I glance to my left, I see an older man, early to mid-sixties, with a grey beard, wearing a Broncos baseball cap. He’s standing just off to the side of a large camera on a stand. I instantly think about how much this sight would piss Morgan off. Morgan loathes hat-wearing inside buildings; it's something she has never allowed. Should I ask him to remove it?
“Reid.” Greg’s tone is soft, controlled, yet calm when he speaks my name. I shift my attention to him. “Two minutes and we’ll be live. Do you need anything?”
I do. To get the fuck off this couch. But I say nothing and shake my head.
The cameraman standing behind Greg is short and stocky. He’d be at least the same height as Morgan. He’s so young, maybe all of eighteen, and as his head disappears behind another large camera on a stand, I want nothing more than to yell, “GET OUT! Everyone get out of my house.” I can’t breathe.
“He’s not been mic’d.” Gregory’s statement is one of frustration, yet he doesn’t say it with even a hint of disappointment. He’s a professional, and it’s obvious he’s been doing this job for a long time.
“Sorry, Greg.” The bearded baseball-hat-wearing man says before he moves through a narrow gap in front of me and pins a microphone to the lapel of the jacket West fussed with earlier.
“It’s okay, Reid.” Kylee’s hand cups my upper arm, and when I rotate my head, I spy the tissue poking out between her fingers. Tilting my chin back, I search Kylee’s expression, and view her glazed eyes. She’s already about to cry. How will I cope with her crying beside me?
“You can do this, son.” Ronald’s words are barely audible, and when I look to the jacket he’s wearing, the black coat that is almost identical in style to mine, I see the small red rose pin attached under his microphone. Morgan has always loved roses. Maybe I should have done something like he has.
“Okay, we’re ready,” Greg says after he assists in running the wire of the microphone up under my shirt and helps tuck the pack at the back of my pants. He offers me a look of sorrow I’ve only ever seen people express when offering condolences. Why do I feel like I’m about to attend Morgan’s funeral?