Her voice was hollow and wispy as a reed.
“I know this isn’t any of our business,” Allison said. “And I’m sorry for asking, but can you tell us about how Ollie died? Why he died? He was our brother for a little while. We just... We were so shocked to find out.”
“I think it’s my fault,” Kathy said.
“I’m sure it’s not,” Allison said.
“I don’t know about that,” Kathy said. “Before the surgery, Ollie couldn’t care less about what I was feeling. When I brought him home from your house, he was like a...” She snapped her fingers, searching for a word. “Like a sponge. Whatever I was feeling, he’d soak it all up. And I was pretty low then. Depressed. Cried a lot. Ollie would cry with me, and even after I stopped, he kept right on crying. Every day he’d tell me he was sorry about Jacob. One day, he just got too sorry to go on. A neighbor kept a shotgun in his garage. Ollie found it.” Kathy looked at Roland. “I shoulda listened to your dad.”
“What did he say?” Roland asked.
“He said I ought to leave Ollie with him,” Kathy said. “But he was my son. And I wanted my boy back.”
Kathy dropped her chin to her chest. She hadn’t cried the whole time they’d been talking. Allison had a feeling she was cried out and then some. Slowly she raised her head.
“That’s all I have to tell you,” Kathy said. “Hope that’s what you wanted to hear.”
“I never want to hear about kids suffering,” Allison said. “We weren’t trying to be nosy. The thing is, someone tried to hurt me when I was living there at Dr. Capello’s house. I fell down a flight of steps and hit my head. Dr. Capello said he thought it might be Oliver who’d done it. I guess he did have a history of hurting his siblings.”
“Not after that surgery,” Kathy said. “No, ma’am. He wasn’t that same boy at all. Not even close.”
“Are you sure?” Allison asked. “I’m not here to point fingers, but with Oliver’s past—”
“It wasn’t Oliver, I’m telling you. After he came home, he stepped on my foot by accident and burst into tears. Cried for so long he made himself sick. Whatever your father did to him, he wasn’t able to hurt a fly afterward.”
“Do you remember when you brought him home with you?” Allison asked.
“Yes, it was, ah, a Friday. It was June 28. I remember because that’s my wedding anniversary. I didn’t want to be alone on that day.”
“I’m asking because...before my accident, someone called my aunt. They told her someone in the house wanted me dead. Oliver went home with you before I fell, so I know he didn’t push me,” she said. “I didn’t really think it was him who hurt me, anyway, but I thought...maybe he made the call from here?”
“Back then we only had one phone,” she said. “And it was in my bedroom. I can’t swear he didn’t make any calls, but I...I just don’t think Ollie had anything to do with this. Believe me, I have no illusions about who and what my son was. Before that surgery, he would have pushed his own grandma down the stairs and laughed if she broke her leg. I tell you that without batting an eyelash. But after... Whatever your father did to Ollie, it fixed him.”
“I know one of Dr. Capello’s patients had a tumor removed but it came back. Was that Oliver?” Allison asked.
Kathy shook her head. “It never came back, no. In fact, not only did the operation fix him, it, well, I think it fixed him too good. Poor boy went from feeling nothing to feeling everything. But what choice did I have? If your father hadn’t found that tumor, he would have been in juvenile detention for sure. Hell, he probably would have been on death row by eighteen, anyway.”
“You did the right thing,” Allison said, and she meant it. She wanted to reach out to touch Kathy’s hand, but held back. “I can’t think of any other parent doing any different. We...” She glanced at Roland. “We wish we’d known what happened when it happened. We could have paid our respects to him.”
“Well,” Kathy said, putting the magazine she’d been shredding down at last. “It’s all right. I didn’t have a funeral. I couldn’t bear to watch them bury another one of my babies.”
“We are sorry,” Allison said. “Oliver was always sweet.”
“That’s nice of you to say,” Kathy said.
She still didn’t smile.
Chapter 20
Back in the car, Allison realized she hadn’t heard Roland speaking for what felt like hours.
“Roland?”
Allison took his hand in hers. He didn’t take it in return. He let her hold on to him but that was all.
“Roland?” she said again. “You’re so quiet.” He’d barely said a word in the house with Kathy. It seemed he’d lost his ability to speak.
“Sorry,” he said finally. “Just taking it all in.”
Allison pulled out of the driveway and drove aimlessly around the neighborhood, not sure where to go or if she wanted to go anywhere yet. She just wanted to move.
“I read that profile of Dad that’s on his office wall,” she said. “I thought when it said he took in kids who had problems...I thought that meant temper tantrums and attention span problems and impulse control issues. I didn’t think it meant he took in kids who’d killed other kids.” Allison realized what she was saying and who she was saying it to. “You know, killed kids on purpose. Not like with you and—”
“I know what you mean,” he said.
She smiled apologetically.
“Doesn’t it seem dangerous, bringing a kid like that into a house with other kids?”
Roland shrugged. “You heard the lady. Oliver had a brain tumor and Dad fixed it. Dad told me all kinds of horror stories about people with tumors and cysts and what it does to their behavior. One man had a tumor in his prefrontal cortex. He went from being a nice normal family man to trying to seduce his twelve-year-old stepdaughter. They took out the tumor and he went back to normal. Just like that.” Roland snapped his fingers. “And you know about his grandparents.”
“Dad’s? Yeah, lead poisoning turned a normal man into a murderer.”
“And he committed suicide after he killed his wife,” Roland said. “You can’t blame people like that for their actions. They’re sick—they aren’t doing it on purpose.”
“I know,” Allison said. She took a long breath. “At some point we have to talk about why your dad lied to me about Oliver.”
“I know,” Roland said. “I know we will. But not yet.”
At least he wasn’t trying to convince her or himself that Dr. Capello was just confused anymore. After their talk with Kathy Collins, it was apparent Dr. Capello hadn’t been truthful with her or with Roland. But why lie?
“When you’re ready,” Allison said, and squeezed his hand. It took a minute but Roland finally squeezed her hand back.
Allison found the interstate and bridge, and with Roland’s help navigating, they were soon back on their way home.
“We were supposed to stay out all night,” Allison said, noting the time on the clock. Not even nine yet, though it was already dark.
“Dad said he didn’t want to see us until morning,” Roland said. “Didn’t say we had to stay out all night.”
“Good point. We’ll just be very quiet...”
That wouldn’t be a problem for Roland. He’d been quiet at Kathy’s, quiet after, more quiet than he usually was. She wondered if he was mourning Oliver. She wondered if he was praying for him. She wondered if he was angry or scared or both.
“What are you thinking about?” Allison asked, unable to take the silence any longer.
“Ah, it doesn’t matter,” Roland said, looking out the window.
“It matters a lot. It matters to me.”
He put his hand on her thigh again.
“I’m thinking about Dad. How hard it must have been for him to save a kid’s life, and give that kid a home, and then find out that kid threw away that life he worked so hard to save.”