BIG DUMB SEX
It was nearly five in the morning when I finally pulled the car into the garage. I had been so close to taking out a few trees and road signs on the drive up from Portland that I started blaring shitty pop music with the windows down, just so the disgust and cold would keep me awake.
It worked. I didn’t crash the car though as I staggered over to the elevator with my duffel bag in tow, I kinda wished I had. I had Rebecca Black in my head, a fate worse than death.
My plan was to enter the apartment as quietly as possible. If luck was on my side I’d be able to sneak inside without waking up Jenn and I could put off facing her until a reasonable hour, until I had ten cups of black coffee and a few sneaked cigarettes.
Lady Luck, that saucy bitch, was not on my side. As soon as my keys started to jangle in the hole, the door flung open and there she was. And, as I thought, she was ready to kill me.
Yeah, the thing is even though I spoke to her earlier in the day when I was at Perry’s uncle’s and told her I’d be coming home in the morning, even though she said she didn’t care and that she was going out with her bimbo posse anyway, I knew she’d be mad. I just knew it. And I was right. I was always fucking right.
“Hey babe,” I said quietly, trying to flash her a smile she once thought was charming.
She narrowed her eyes and didn’t let me in.
“It’s the middle of the night,” she hissed.
“I can see that,” I said and blinked at her hair. It was in a wild fro on top of her head, her face was without a lick of makeup. She did look gorgeous but she also looked evil. It was the heat seething from her eyes. “Are you going to let me in or shall I sleep out in the hall? There’s a cozy spot in the stairwell, I discovered that the last time you –“
“Last time I what?” she asked carefully. She raised her chin and eyed me down.
Last time you got totally jealous because I was hanging around some girl. Even though it was Rebecca. Even though she’s a lesbian.
“Las time we had disagreements,” I said. I put my hand up on the door and pushed it in a few inches. “Please. Babe. I’ve had a rough day.”
“Where the hell have you been?” she asked though she stepped away and let me in.
I walked in and tossed my bag on the couch.
“I told you earlier. You called me, remember?”
She folded her arms across her chest and tried to stifle a yawn. “I thought you’d wait until morning. Maybe have some respect for my beauty sleep. It’s Wine Babes, not Wine Hags, you know.”
Boy, did I ever.
“Perry had to get home, she works in the morning,” I explained, my voice hesitating only slightly. I watched her reaction and wondered what ground I was treading on tonight.
Her eyes flashed like lightening, almost too quick to see. Then the mask of indifference slid on her features and she looked at me with a perfectly blank expression.
“Who is Perry?”
She wasn’t fooling anyone but I let her play her game.
“You know, the girl with the lighthouse.” As if Perry wasn’t the sole reason Jenn had called me earlier.
“Girl?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, girl. She’s like twenty or something.”
White heat erupted from her gaze. I’d forgotten that the younger another woman was, the worse things got.
For me.
I sighed and turned away from my glowering girlfriend, ready for bed, ready to turn off my brain. I had bigger things to worry about than Jenn. I mean, fuck, the lighthouse actually fucking exploded. It exploded! I had nearly died tonight. We both nearly did and it would have been on my conscious if anything had happened to Perry. I spent the whole drive home trying not to think about it, trying not to think about what I thought I saw. What I couldn’t have seen.
“Dex?” Jenn asked, her voice breaking into my thoughts before they foundered. I felt her hand on my shoulder, her grip firm and warm. “Are you OK?”
I turned my head slightly and spied her out of the corner of my eye.
“I’m just tired. It’s nothing. I’m hitting the sack.”
I started to step forward when her grip tightened on my shoulder and held me back.
“Dex,” she said again, using my name in a deliberate way. There was warmth to it, enough to make me realize she was…what was this? Concern about me? My heart lurched around in my chest. Tricky little bastard.
I turned to face her and her hands immediately went to my waist. With hooded eyes she took her delicate, long fingers and started stroking back and forth along the waistband, teasing my skin.
I knew those moves all too well. Did she care or did she just want to get laid?
Fuck, why did I even bother thinking? I didn’t care either.
The fear I felt turned to flames. The night turned to need. I needed to be distracted, from Perry, from ghosts, from death. As usual, this would do.
Oh, this would do all right.
With one hand she popped the button on my pants. She dropped to her knees. I got hard instantly, knowing what was coming next.
Me.
Out of all the women I’d been with, Jenn knew her blessed way around a cock. Sometimes I wondered if she’d been a man herself in a past lifetime. Not that I liked to think that when she was unzipping my fly with her teeth, but there was no question she was a woman who knew exactly what you needed and wanted and was never ashamed to give it to you.
Sexually, anyway.
The minute my cock came free of my pants, heavy and twitching with anticipation, I grabbed the back of her head with both my hands, making a tight fist in her hair and yanked her toward me. She gave a little moan from the pain and took all of me in her mouth, and then some. She expertly gripped me in a squeezing motion with one hand, and let her fingers play with my balls with the other.
In seconds, I didn’t have a thought in my head, except that I wanted it harder, faster, more, more, more. Part of me wanted to come now and hard, the other part wanted to prolong the pleasure as long as possible. As selfish as it was, I didn’t really care if she got off or not. This was about me, my need to forget, my need to only feel this dirty high. Jenn didn’t really care either, she could always take care of herself. There were no tallies with us, we both always got what we wanted in the end.
She started to twirl her tongue along, rubbing it hard along the ridge. Fuck, I was going to lose it quickly if she kept that up.
Then she pulled away and wiped her mouth before grinning at me. If my mind wasn’t so clouded by lust, I could have sworn she looked positively fake.
“How about you take me from behind?” she purred. Without waiting for me to respond, she slipped off her short shorts, her thin top, and she was bare ass naked. She flung herself down on the couch and arched her back invitingly.
Fuck me. I could never ever say no to that.
I guided myself in, grabbed her around the small of her itty, bitty waist and pushed in hard. She moaned some more, loudly…too loudly.
“Yes, fuck me harder Dex,” she yelled.
I almost laughed. Fuck me harder Dex? Was she kidding? Now Jenn was always delightfully nasty and vocal at times, but it sounded like she was trying a little too hard. It sounded scripted.
I slowed the thrusting down and tried to get my mind back on track. Who cares if she was putting on a show, I was getting laid, wasn’t I? My dick was full-up inside her, what was the problem? No problem.
“You’re so good,” she cried out again in a breathy voice.
I bit my lip. What the hell was she doing? I liked porn but I liked it realistic and raw, not cheap and tawdry and that’s exactly what she was acting like. For the first time ever she was acting like someone else, someone…insecure.
Then it hit me. This was about Perry, wasn’t it? Oh of course it was. I was a fucking idiot for not seeing it.
Naturally, I was turned on, inside her to the hilt and my load was threatening to blow at any minute, so her cheesy porn star act and insecurities weren’t enough to make me stop or distract me. But the thought of Perry herself, well, that was distracting.
And pleasantly so.
I moved my hands down to Jenn’s tight ass, increased my speed, and closed my eyes. No one could complain about Jenn’s body, but I wondered what it would be like to have Perry on all fours in front of me. If it was her I was fucking, with that big, gorgeous ass of hers, I’d have a lot more under my hands, soft flesh I could squeeze and kneed and lick and bite. I wondered if she’d like it from behind, if she’d moan with every inch of me. I wondered if she’d let me grab her thick, dark mane and hold it like a pair of reins, if I could make her come with my girth alone or if I’d need to reach down and stroke her until she literally dripped on the carpet.
Fuck.
I came hard.
The hardest in a long time. I dug my fingers into Jenn’s ass, causing her to give a legitimate whimper of pain, and bit my tongue to stop me from screaming out Perry’s name. My legs shook as the deluge pumped into Jenn in endless, brain-seizing waves. I couldn’t stop seeing Perry’s face, someone so innocent that needed to be defiled. Someone who might possibly need me to show her some things for a change.
When I was finished, I pulled out of Jenn and walked to the bathroom, feeling dizzy, my heart firing at a million beats a minute. I heard her cry out in indignation at something or other, but it didn’t matter. I went in and closed the door behind me and leaned against the sink.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought.
I just got off thinking about Perry, my 22-year old potential partner, and it was the best orgasm I’d had in months. Years.
I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked at myself in the mirror.
You, sir, are asking for trouble.
I closed my eyes to my flushed reflection and bright, dilated pupils. Immediately an image of Perry sprung up on my head again, this time she was on her back, lying beneath me, her breasts rising, anticipating me.
I quickly locked the bathroom door and stroked myself at the thought.
I came again and right away.
Fuck trouble. I wasn’t asking for it.
I was inviting it.