She stood in the doorway, a woman perhaps ten years older than he was and whom he had hired soon after his uncle had died because he
knew he would be unable to run the rescue on his own and because he had begun talking to the animals in earnest, talking and listening, a habit that sometimes made him doubt his sanity.
There’s coffee, he said.
Sounds good.
His words were her cue to enter the office trailer and pour herself a cup and begin going over the day’s schedule with him: the feedings, the turkey vulture’s antibiotics, some planned maintenance on the lower fence, the building of a new raptor enclosure, which volunteers they would have that day and which they would not. But instead she stood there unmoving near the closed door. So … uh … what happened? she said.
With what?
Last night. You left in a hurry.
Moose, he said.
In town?
Down near Ponderay. Hit by a pickup.
He did not want to talk about it but there it was. He told her what had happened and when he was done she said nothing for a long time, standing there in the doorway in silence. He did not look at her, kept his eyes focused on the paperwork on the metal surface of the desk. At last she said, simply, Awful.
He nodded. Well, he said, let’s do the schedule.
She moved forward into the trailer and they went over the day’s routine just as they might have without the moose. She reminded him she was taking two of the eagles out to an elementary school in Sandpoint later that morning and he told her he would help her load the bird. Then she nodded and stepped out the door, the coffee cup steaming into the chill air.
He returned to the trailer in the late morning. The plastic thermometer that hung by its door read just under thirty degrees, but the sky was bright and clear and so there had been a few visitors when they opened the gate at ten: a family of three on vacation from somewhere farther west, and two women, perhaps mother and daughter, neither younger than sixty. What do you think, old man? he said to the bear when the women started up the path.
The bear looked at him, swinging its nose up the fence.
That’s gonna be us one day. Old men stumbling around. You want a grape?
The bear’s lips curled in a smile again. Bill removed a ziplock from his jacket pocket. Don’t tell anyone I’m giving you treats for no good reason, he said. He slipped a grape through the fence. Majer took it carefully in his distended lips, one after another until the bag was empty. I’m serious about keeping this secret, Bill said. You know the rule: Don’t feed the bears.
Majer sat looking at him, or at least looking in his direction, the bear’s eyes filmed in milk and Bill returning that vacant stare. A blind bear in a cage. You can feel the tug of the heart in those gray pools. It is the pull of other worlds within this one, where time and memory and vision have meanings you cannot begin to understand.
All right, now, Bill said. Grace’s coming this week to look at you, so you’d better not be cranky with her.
The bear’s head rocked slowly from side to side, a thin stream of drool suspended in a silver strand from his lip.
I’m off to pay more bills. If you all would just stop eating, this whole thing would get a lot cheaper.
He slid off the stump. Below him, an olive-green SUV had appeared in the parking lot and a man in a similarly colored uniform had just stepped out onto the gravel. Shit, Bill said. He looked around quickly and when he saw Chuck coming down the path he said, Hey, go find Bess. The new Fish and Game guy’s here.
Gotcha, Chuck said, turning on his heel and heading back in the direction from which he had come.
The officer had passed through the public gate below and Bill walked down to meet him, his jaws clenched. Morning, he said.
Morning. He was older than Bill, perhaps fifty, thin and fit with salt-and-pepper hair and a dark mustache. His official title, the title on the business card Bill had been handed a month earlier when the man first walked up the path, was District Conservation Officer, but Bill thought of him as a game warden. Around his torso was zipped a down vest that matched the rest of his uniform.
It’s Steve, right?
Steve Colman, the warden said. He reached his hand out, and Bill took it gravely.
Right, Bill said. What can I do for you?
Just came by to talk about a couple things.
What things?
Well, that moose hit down by Ponderay for one. Sheriff says you dispatched it.
Bill looked at him. Their breathing was visible as white smoke upon the air. Yeah, he said.
Well, it creates a mess of paperwork when a citizen does it on their own. Better if you could just call me next time. I told the sheriff the same thing.
Bill stood staring at him, saying nothing. Having the warden there at all sent a thin shiver of nervousness through him. The badge. The sidearm. The authority he seemed to assume.
Anyway, let’s say we just look the other way on that, this one time. This is assuming next time you’ll call me if something like this comes up again.
It’s not like I did it for fun, Bill said.
Why did you do it at all?
Someone had to.
I get that but why you?
He shrugged now, and when the warden spoke again it was into the long drift of silence that had risen between them.
All right, all right, he said, lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender. Behind him, Cinder, the rescue’s resident mountain lion, watched them both, her one undamaged eye expressionless, outsize paws resting on the stone beneath her head. Look, that’s not even the real reason I came out here, the warden said. I need to talk to you more about all that permitting stuff.
I was afraid you were gonna say that.