I tried to swerve away from the question, to a more neutral conversation, but James topped up my wine glass and fixed me with that intense look of his.
‘I haven’t been able to get you out of my head all day,’ he said.
‘Me neither.’
‘I don’t think you understand.’ He tightened his grip on my hand and lowered his voice. ‘I only spent one evening with you but I haven’t been able to do anything because my mind and body have been craving you.’
I nodded, too shy to admit how many times I’d luxuriated in the fantasy of him lying naked beneath me.
‘It’s killing me,’ he continued, ‘sitting opposite you at the table, not able to touch you, not able to kiss you, not able to,’ his voice became gravelly, ‘fuck you.’
I didn’t look away. Instead I ran my hand over his, lightly tracing my fingers over the contours of his knuckles and whispered, ‘There are rooms upstairs.’
‘So there are.’ He smiled widely. ‘But now I know how much you want me, I’m going to make you wait.’
I squealed in protest but he shook his head, still grinning, and poured me another glass of wine.
‘Shall we order?’ he said. ‘The scallops look nice.’
The non-sexual mood didn’t last long and by the time our starters arrived, the air was blue. It wasn’t the sort of thing I’d normally talk about in a fancy restaurant but James kept slipping his fingers in and out of mine, I was circling his ankle with my stockinged foot and we were on our second bottle of wine and when he asked me if I’d ever had sex alfresco I was feeling bold so I admitted to sex in a tent, sex in a back garden after a party and a sandy attempt at oral sex on a beach. James listened to my stories, his eyes shining with excitement then urged me on, asking me if I’d ever indulged in S&M or role play, demanding I tell him what my favourite position was. I giggled as I told him that Nathan and I had messed around with silk scarves and handcuffs.
‘How about you?’ I asked after the waiter had placed our main courses in front of us. ‘What have you tried?’
‘Very little,’ James raised an eyebrow, ‘compared to you.’
He was smiling when he said it but there was a judgemental tone in his inflection that rankled me.
James noticed my change in mood immediately.
‘Oh Suzy.’ He grabbed my hand. ‘Suzy-Sue. Are you sulking? Darling, I was only playing. Look at me, please.’
I raised my eyelashes then laughed at the pouty expression on James’s face – an obvious imitation of my own.
‘I’ve been very naughty,’ he said, running his thumb over the back of my hand, ‘and I’ve done some terrible things but,’ his eyes glittered with promise, ‘not as terrible as the things I’m going to do to you.’
‘Is that a threat or a promise?’
He released my hand, cut into his steak and smiled. ‘Both.’
How we managed to check in, make it upstairs in the lift and operate the door mechanism to the room with our clothes still on, I have no idea because the second the door slammed behind us we tore at each other’s clothes, ripping off shirts, dresses, stockings and underwear. The sex was fast, furious, animalistic and over quickly, so desperate was our desire to fuck. We lay in each other’s arms, sweaty and panting for all of ten minutes before James rolled me onto my side, his erection pressed against my lower back, and fucked me again. At some point in the night we had sex in the bathroom. We were supposed to shower together to get clean but the lure of the water, the soap and two slippery bodies was too much. By the time we collapsed onto the bed again, the sun was peeping through the curtains.
‘I feel like I’m in a dream,’ James said, tracing his finger down my forehead, along my nose and resting in the dip of my cupid’s bow. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.’
‘I know.’ I stroked his arms, wrapping my hand around the contour of his bicep, cradling the muscle in my palm. ‘I can’t believe this is really happening.’
‘It is.’ He leaned towards me and kissed me tenderly, then parted my lips with his tongue and kissed me again, harder this time, his hand on my breast. Seconds later he was on top of me again. It must have been after six before we finally fell asleep.
Chapter 3
‘What?’ I snatch my hands from the drawer and spin around to face my accuser. ‘I wasn’t doing anything. I was just looking for—’
‘Got you!’ The tall, auburn-haired man standing in the doorway points and laughs uproariously. ‘Brilliant! You should compete in the Olympics, Sue. I’ve never seen anyone jump so high!’
‘Oli! You frightened me half to death.’
My stepson laughs again, his freckled face lighting up with amusement. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t resist.’
I force a smile but behind my back my hands are shaking. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be at university?’
‘I was. Am. Sort of.’ He adjusts the weight of the rucksack he’s wearing on one shoulder and smiles. ‘Field trip in Southampton. I thought I’d drop in and see Dad en route.’ He peers around the study. ‘I’ve missed him, haven’t I?’
‘By about twenty minutes. He’s in London today.’
‘Damn.’ He casts another look around, hoping perhaps that Brian will magically materialize, then looks back at me and frowns. ‘You okay, Sue? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘I’m fine.’ I push the drawer closed and cross the study. ‘Honestly.’
Oli’s eyes dart over my face, trying to read my expression as I approach him. ‘How’s Charlotte?’
I sigh, deflating as the air leaves my body. I’ve been so pumped on adrenalin searching through Brian’s things that now I’ve stopped I feel drained.
‘She’s …’ I want to tell him the truth – that Charlotte is no different than she was yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that but he looks so worried I lie instead. His exams are coming up soon and he’s worked so hard. ‘… She’s looking a little better. There was more colour in her cheeks yesterday.’
‘Really?’ His expression brightens again. ‘That’s good, isn’t it?’