She laughed. “It’s hard to get used to you like this. I mean, I knew it was you, but still, I did a double take, you know. But it’s like me and my short hair—it’ll grow back and you’ll be white again.”
“Come here.” He took her hand and sat on a low sand dune, pulled her down next to him.
“Aren’t we leaving?” she asked.
“Not quite yet.”
A nod at the Lexus. “Whose car is that? I thought your friend was going to drop you off.”
He said nothing. They looked west at the Pacific Ocean. The sun was a pale disk just approaching the horizon, growing more fiery by the minute.
She’d be thinking: Does he want to talk, does he want to fuck me? What’s going on?
Uncertainty…Pell let it run up. She’d be noticing that he wasn’t smiling.
Concern flowed in like high tide. He felt the tension in her hand and arm.
Finally he asked, “How much do you love me?”
She didn’t hesitate, though Pell noted something cautious in her response. “As big as that sun.”
“Looks small from here.”
“I mean as big as the sun really is. No, as big as theuniverse, ” she added quickly, as if trying to correct a wrong answer in class.
Pell was quiet.
“What’s the matter, Daniel?”
“I have a problem. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
She tensed. “A problem, sweetheart?”
So it’s “sweetie” when she’s happy, “sweetheart” when she’s troubled. Good to know. He filed that away.
“That meeting I had?” He’d told her only that he was going to meet someone about a “business thing.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Something went wrong. I had all the plans made. This woman was going to pay me back a lot of money I’d loaned her. But she lied to me.”
“What happened?”
Pell was looking Jennie right in the eye. He reflected quickly that the only person who’d ever caught him lying was Kathryn Dance. But thinking of her was a distraction so he put her out of his mind. “She had her own plans, it turned out. She was going to use me. And you too.”
“Me? She knows me?”
“Not your name. But from the news she knows we’re together. She wanted me to leave you.”
“Why?”
“So she and I could be together. She wanted to go away with me.”
“This was somebody you used to know?”
“That’s right.”
“Oh.” Jennie fell silent.
Jealousy…
“I told her no, of course. There’s no way I’d even think about that.”
An attempted purr. It didn’t work.
Sweetheart…
“And Susan got mad. She said she was going to the police. She’d turn us both in.” Pell’s face contorted with pain. “I tried to talk her out of it. But she wouldn’t listen.”
“What happened?”
He glanced at the car. “I brought her here. I didn’t have any choice. She was trying to call the police.”
Alarmed, Jennie looked up and didn’t see anybody in the car.
“In the trunk.”
“Oh, God. Is she—”
“No,” Pell answered slowly, “she’s okay. She’s tied up. That’s the problem. I don’t know what to do now.”
“She still wants to turn you in?”
“Can you believe it?” he asked breathlessly. “I begged her. But she’s not right in the head. Like your husband, remember? He kept hurting you even though he knew he’d get arrested. Susan’s the same. She can’t control herself.” He sighed angrily. “I was fair to her. And she cheated me. She spent all the money.
I was going to pay you back with it. For the car. For everything you’ve done.”
“You don’t have to worry about the money, sweetheart. I want to spend it on us.”
“No, I’m going to pay you back.” Never, ever let a woman know you want her for her money. And never, ever be in another human being’s debt.
He kissed her in a preoccupied way. “But what’re we going to do now?”
Jennie avoided his gaze and stared into the sun. “I…I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m not…” Her voice ran out of steam, just like her thoughts.
He squeezed her leg. “I can’t let anything hurt us. I love you so much.”
Faintly: “And I love you, Daniel.”
He took the knife from his pocket. Stared at it. “I don’t want to. I really don’t. People’ve been hurt yesterday because of us.”
Us.Notme.
She caught the distinction. He could sense it in the stiffening of her shoulders.
He continued, “But I didn’t do that intentionally. It was accidental. But this…I don’t know.” He turned
the knife over and over in his hand.
She pressed against him, staring at the blade flashing in the sunset. She was shivering hard.
“Will you help me, lovely? I can’t do it by myself.”
Jennie started to cry. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I don’t think I can.” Her eyes were fixed on the rump of the car.
Pell kissed her head. “We can’t let anything hurt us. I couldn’t live without you.”
“Me too.” She sucked in breath. Her jaw was quivering as much as her fingers.
“Help me, please.” A whisper. He rose, helped her to her feet and they continued to the Lexus. He gave her the knife, closed his hand around hers. “I’m not strong enough alone,” he confessed. “But together…we can do it together.” He looked at her, eyes bright. “It’ll be like a pact. You know, like a lovers’ pact. It means we’re bonded as close as two people can be. Like blood brothers. We’d be bloodlovers. ”
He reached into the car and hit the trunk-release button. Jennie barked a faint scream at the sound.
“Help me, lovely. Please.” He led her toward the trunk.
Then she stopped.
She handed him the knife, sobbing. “Please…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Don’t be mad. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
Pell said nothing, just nodded. Her miserable eyes, her tears reflecting red from the melting sun.
It was an intoxicating sight.
“Don’t be mad at me, Daniel. I couldn’t stand it if you were mad.”
Pell hesitated for three heartbeats, the perfect length of time to hatch uncertainty. “It’s okay. I’m not mad.”
“Am I still your lovely?”
Another pause. “Of course you are.” He told her to go wait in the car.