Finally he said, “Yeah. Well, it’s not a big deal.”
“You said it was a problem.”
“It’s my problem.”
“Well,” I couldn’t help but smile. “Now that we’re married, your problem is my problem.”
A wry tug at his lips. “Oh is that how relationships work?”
“I hear the good ones do.”
He nodded, looking serious, and said, “I forgot my medication.”
His medication. Dex’s pills that kept him at an even keel. Least, that’s how I understood it. As I said earlier, all I knew was that he was bi-polar or something akin to that but I had yet to really understand what that meant with him.
“Oh. OK. Can’t you go to a drugstore and get a refill?”
“No,” he said simply.
“I’m sure if they called your doctor they could do a transfer or something.”
“No, not these pills.”
Uh huh. Not only did he forget them but they seemed to be ultra top-secret medication as well. Why did everything have to be so difficult with him?
“Are you going to be…OK?”
He shrugged, which didn’t really assuage my fears.
“I don’t know. I’ve only been on these pills, well, since we last saw each other.”
“Did I drive you to new medication?”
“You could say that.” It didn’t seem like he was joking.
“Gee, thanks,” I said, mildly hurt. Though this was nothing new, it didn’t help to hear it from him. What was it about me that drove people up the wall?
He gave me a quick smile. “Don’t flatter yourself, kiddo. There was a lot going on and anyway, I think our whole, uh, situation, was enough to cause anyone to re-evaluate things. Didn’t you start to question whether you were losing your mind after the lighthouse? You know, almost dying at the hands of a…thing?”
Before I had time to think, I said, “Yeah, but you were losing your mind way before that.”
He stiffened at that remark.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I…”
He raised his hand to shut me up.
“The point is,” he continued, “I thought I should be in a better frame of mind if we were to continue to do this whole fucking circus. So, no, I haven’t been on them long enough to miss a dose and know what happens if I do. But if it’s anything like before, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”
I still felt uneasy.
“You’re not going to murder me in my sleep are you?”
“Maybe,” he said, not smiling. “It’ll be easy to do since we’ll be sharing the same bed. I expect you’ll put out now.”
He looked at me, mouth shut and taught.
I assumed he was kidding but there was always that tiny part of me who never knew what to believe. I swallowed hard and turned my attention to the landscape that was becoming more rugged and blistering as we drove on.
Out of the corner of my eye, I eventually I caught Dex grinning. Of course it was a joke. I felt like this might be the longest weekend of my entire life.