He looked at Dex’s cargo shorts and told him, “You too. You could get sick in there with so many clothes on. It’s customary for people to be naked during a sweat ceremony, but I understand if you don’t want to do that with us here.”
“Hell no,” I muttered. Even going in there in just my underwear was going to be traumatizing. And it wasn’t because of Bird and Rudy.
The hut was about four feet high and about the size of a six-person tent. From the outside I could see it was made of heavy tarpaulin material and the door, which we would have to crawl through, was in the style of a tent’s door, complete with zipper. At the moment it was unzipped, showing nothing but blackness inside. I was in no hurry to go in there.
Rudy poked the fire one last time and gestured at the house’s back door.
“It’ll be another half hour before the rocks are hot enough,” he said. “We might as well get you prepped for what’s going to happen.”
It sounded terrifyingly ominous. I looked at Dex who was beside me. His expression said the same thing: this wasn’t going to be a typical sauna session, was it?
We went into the house and sat in the kitchen while Rudy brought out several pitchers of water and poured us all a glass.
“Drink now and it’ll help you once you’re in there,” he said.
Then he took out a small pouch and some rolling papers and started to roll sweet smelling cigarettes. He did this as he told us what was going to happen.
“The Great Spirit watches over us but sometimes we need a little help. Traditionally the sweat ceremony is done to cleanse one’s own spirit so that it is clean and good. The negativity and evil thoughts that we experience each day, even without us knowing it, cling to our shells. The sweat purifies us so that we are born again, brand new. The good spirits can find us and protect us while the evil spirits are unable to track us. Eventually they will find us again, as evil always does, but this will give us some protection in the meantime.”
He finished rolling one, lit it with a match and handed it to Dex. “Here smoke some of this.”
Dex took a puff, then coughed. It was a lot, even for him. He took a gulp of water and opened his eyes wide, achieving that crazy look of his.
“Wow, that is some strong shit,” he exclaimed.
Rudy smiled slightly at Dex’s outburst and nodded at me. “Her turn. Have some Perry, it will please The Great Spirit.”
This Great Spirit was so far sounding pretty cool compared to my God, though I was starting to suspect they were all one and the same. I took the cigarette from Dex’s fingers and inhaled. I hadn’t smoked since high school and it showed. Once the smoke entered my lungs, I also broke out into a coughing fit. It was a strong hit of nicotine and I immediately felt simultaneously alert and relaxed. The tobacco tasted very good, almost like licorice and agave. If we had packs like that on the market, there was a good chance I would take up smoking again.
I passed it on to Bird and Rudy continued, “It used to be that men and women would do the sweat separately but those things don’t matter so much these days. Once the rocks are hot enough, I will move them into the center of the hut. I’ll lead us through a few prayers and we will have some breaks in between where you can get out, stretch your legs and get water. As time goes on, it will get hotter and hotter. It may be so hot that you can’t handle it and that’s fine. I strongly suggest you stay in the tent no matter what. Lie down on the ground if you have to but if you leave the tent before the session is over, it may make everything redundant.”
I started feeling a bit nervous. The cigarette hadn’t helped.
Rudy went on to explain how the tent had been made with willow branches, each branch strategically placed to pay homage to various animals and the Great Spirit himself. Everything was connected and the whole experience was to show us our place in the universe, as well as cleanse our sins.
Soon enough, Rudy had stopped talking. It was time.
We walked outside. The fire had died somehow, smoldering under the weight of the rocks, which glowed neon red in the morning light. We watched Rudy and Bird carrying the hot stones on a pitchfork and shovel them into the tent. I felt like I should help them somehow, but I think in this case it was OK if Dex and I were just the curious bystanders. This was sacred to them and I didn’t want to mess it up.
When they were done, Bird went into the kitchen to fetch the water. Rudy pointed at my clothes.
“No time to be shy,” he said simply. He took off his glasses and his denim shirt and placed them in a neat pile outside of the tent. Oh God, Great Spirit, whatever, I thought, please don’t let this turn into a naked old man expedition.
But Rudy kept his boxer shorts on. Dex did too. I sighed and slipped my pants off. Thank goodness I was wearing my comfy black underwear that pretty much covered my butt, or at least most of it. To think I was close to putting on a thong that morning.
Bird came out with the drinks and placed them outside of the tent. He sat down on a log and wiped his brow.
“You’re not coming in?” Dex asked him.
“No, I think it’s a good idea if someone is outside of the tent,” he said. I had to agree with him.
“Ladies first,” Rudy said opening up the flap of the tent even wider and pointing inside. I really did not want to be the first to go in the hot dark tent, let alone have Dex and Rudy stare at my butt as I went in. On all fours, no less.
I turned to look at Dex behind me. He was already grinning.
I smacked him across the chest. “You keep your eyes to yourself, mister.”
“That reminds me,” Rudy said. He walked over to us and held out his hand. “You will want to take off your rings. You could swell up in there.”
Rings? Oh, right. We both slipped them off and placed them in Rudy’s open palm. He examined each ring closely and then stole a glance at our ring fingers. Could he even see without his glasses? I could have sworn a smile skipped across his stony lips.
“In you go,” he said tapping me on the shoulder.
I took a few steps towards the entrance and got down on all fours. I heard Dex snicker behind me but ignored it. The wall of heat I felt emanating from inside the tent was intense. I took a deep breath and went inside.
It was dark as hell except for the glowing stones in the center. The floor was packed with very soft dirt that was still cool on my knees. I crawled along the outer edge of the circular floor, making sure I was far away from the hot rocks, and sat back. It was so hot, and so dry, that I couldn’t imagine it getting any hotter.
Dex came in next, his shaggy silhouette against the door, and crawled towards me. He sat next to me, cross-legged, our knees touching. I was glad for that.
Rudy came in last and settled across from us, pulling a doeskin bag of stuff up beside him.
“OK Bird,” he called out. “Time to seal us.”
I heard a rustling outside. Bird appeared at the door, the blinding daylight behind him. I couldn’t see his face from the exposure but I could feel he was giving us all a hopeful look. He nodded and disappeared. The tent flapped shut and the loud tear of the zipper filled the air as he shut us in.
Now we were sitting in complete darkness. The stones at the middle gave off a bare glow that did nothing to illuminate the interior of the tent. I heard Rudy shuffle around and the tinkling of water. I smelled sage and other herbs. A whipping sound and Rudy was hitting the rocks with wet sage branches. The smell was incredible, but the steam and heat that came off the rocks was all-encompassing.
Rudy started to chant and sing in native Navajo. I hadn’t heard it spoken yet so it was a bit jarring to my ears. But there was something beautifully rhythmic and complex about it.
Obviously, neither Dex nor I could join in on these prayers, so we just sat there on the dirt floor that was increasingly getting warmer and did our best to endure the heat. Personally, I said a few prayers of my own to myself, followed by wishes, and then positive thoughts and mantras. I was hitting all angles.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, it felt like hours, but just as I was getting light-headed Rudy put the branches away and said, “Now time for our first break.”
“Bird,” he called out and thumped on the wall of the tent. The willow branches shook above us. The sound of the zipper and the flap opened. The light spilling inside hurt my eyes.
We made our way out of the tent and into the sunlight. I’m sure it was a hot day already but compared to the interior of the tent it felt very refreshing. I stood up unsteadily, Bird reached over and held me.
“Take it easy,” he passed me a bottle of water. “Drink some of this, slowly.”
Water had never tasted so good. When I was finished the bottle I looked over at Dex who was doing the same thing. He was a sweaty mess. I was too. Only Rudy looked remotely composed.
“Are you doing OK so far?” Rudy asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t feel like I was cleansed or anything. I just felt like I had been in one hell of a sauna.
“I think I lost a few pounds,” Dex joked.
“Oh, we’ll all be a lot lighter when this is done. Of course, drinking water will put it all back. But the weight of our sins will be lost for long enough.”
Rudy walked over to me and asked me to hold out my hands.
I did so, palms up. The bandages were pretty gross, there hadn’t been time to change them that morning.
Rudy held his hands above mine and waved them around. I thought I could feel my wounds burning slightly but I couldn’t be sure. He was giving off some heat but that was normal. We all could have doubled as radiators at that moment.
“What are you doing?” Dex asked, coming over to see.
Rudy closed his eyes, ignoring Dex and continued to hold his hands above. Then he stopped and looked at me, “Your hands will be OK in a bit. I did a prayer on them last night. They are healing fast.”
He waved his hand above my stomach. “This too will be OK by tomorrow.”
I didn’t know what to do except thank him. It sounded far-fetched that some hand waving would do the trick, especially when Dex mentioned I had been pumped with antibiotics, but the truth was, whatever he did, I did feel like I was healing by the second. My hands didn’t hurt anymore, my stomach didn’t sting or pinch when I had sat down and a quick glance to the mirror this morning showed that my cheek cut was almost gone.
“Time for us to return,” he said and nodded at the tent. I took a deep breath and crawled back inside.
This time Rudy sprinkled the water on with a different, spicier smelling branch. The steam and heat was about double the intensity as the first round.
I shuffled further back from the stones until my back hit the wall of the tent. The tarp stung my back with its heat. I wondered if it came close to melting.
“You can lie down,” Rudy said in the darkness as the steam grew stronger, the hissing noise filling the space above us. “You too, Dex.”
I lay on my side, wanting some respite from the heat. I immediately regretted it. Yes, it was a smidge cooler but I was covered in sweat from head to toe and having to lay down on the dirt floor, I was pretty sure a layer of mud now covered my side.
I felt Dex moving around beside me and suddenly one of his arms landed on my head.
“Hey,” I cried out.
He giggled, his voice heavy and breathy. “Sorry. Not much room here, kiddo.”
He adjusted himself but ended up propping himself up on his elbow just behind my head. It felt nice knowing he was there, in the darkness, at my back.
Rudy went on to recite a few more prayers. His words slowly faded and I could almost see them floating up with the steam to the roof of the hut.
“So,” he said slowly in English, his accent thick at first. “You two aren’t married, are you?”
Uh. Busted?
“How could you tell?” I asked sheepishly but with great effort. It was becoming harder to talk.
I heard Rudy snort for the first time. “I do not need to be a medicine man to see that.”
I could hear Dex breathing behind me. He wasn’t saying anything. What could we say anyway?
“For one,” Rudy went on, “your wedding rings left no tan lines on your fingers. Which means that you don’t usually wear them. For another, you do not act like a married couple.”
“What do we act like?” Dex asked. Oh man, Dex, why did you have to ask that? I did not want to hear the answer.
Rudy was silent. Then he said, “You act like people who are forever on their first date.”
If I had any doubt that that was true, it was quickly erased by the imminent awkward cloud hanging over our heads. I kind of liked that analogy Rudy used. I certainly felt it. But it probably didn’t do me any good in Dex’s head.
Yet, I felt him move behind me until his mouth was behind my ear.
“How’s our date going then?” he whispered. I could hear the lightness in his voice.
“It’s like Groundhog Day,” I answered back without turning my head. I kept my eyes focused on the stones.
“It’s good,” Rudy said. “I know you did all of this on behalf of the Lancasters. I’m sure some would frown upon that but I can see that you didn’t want to offend them and acted out of the goodness of your hearts.”
Yeah. That was it. But that reminded me.
“Do you know if Maximus is still in town?” I asked. It occurred to me that Dex hadn’t heard from him at all that morning.
I could almost hear Rudy nod. “Yes he is gone. He was sorry to go but he couldn’t stay.”
My heart felt a bit heavy at that, like the last chance to get out was gone and a helping hand had vanished. As much as I trusted Bird and Rudy, Maximus was an outsider like Dex and I, and even though he obviously came into this situation with his own agenda, I still knew he was on our side. He had been looking out for me, if not Dex.
Rudy went back into the chanting and prayers for a while. I was starting to get incredibly thirsty. I could hear Dex panting heavily behind me. If I wasn’t so damn uncomfortable , I would have gotten some pretty sexy thoughts from that. But alas, I could barely move or breathe without feeling gross and exhausted. Maybe all the toxins were coming out of my pores, along with the so-called evilness.
“OK,” we heard Rudy say. He patted on the side of the tent.
“Time for a break, Bird,” he called out. We waited for the zipper to open. There was nothing.
Rudy cleared his throat and shuffled towards the tent door, yelling louder, “Bird, please open the door now. We need water.”
The only sound was the hissing of the rocks. As they glowed redder and redder, the sound got louder and louder. I had a funny feeling. They shouldn’t be getting hotter, should they?
Rudy sighed, annoyed. “Must have gone to the washroom.”
In the darkness we heard him shuffle away from the fire, then it sounded like he was trying to unzip the tent door from the inside. I waited for that loud zip of serrated teeth and the blinding flash of light but there was nothing. Only the suffocating darkness.
Rudy mumbled something in Navajo and started pulling at something. The tent rattled.