Pursuit of Honor

chapter 26
FORTUNATELY for Rapp, Scott Coleman wasn't big on sleep. The retired Navy SEAL had returned home from the operation in New York at 4:00 A.M. and after three short hours of sack time he'd gotten up and started his day. By the time Rapp called, Coleman had already hit the gym and gotten in a five-mile run. Coleman confirmed that he could meet Rapp at one of their usual spots in twenty minutes. Rapp grabbed his go bag from the trunk of his sedan and took a quick shower in the men's locker room of Langley 's fitness center. Ten minutes after leaving Kennedy's office he was in his car and heading west.

Rapp exited the main gate, got onto Dolley Madison Boulevard, and grabbed his phone. After searching his address book he found the mobile number for Maggie Nash and punched the call button. Through his Bluetooth earpiece he listened to the line ring.

On the fifth chime a familiar upbeat voice answered, "Maggie Nash."

"Hi, Maggie... it's Mitch. How are you?"

"Fine," she answered in a cautious voice.

Maggie was a great person and Rapp had always gotten along with her. He knew immediately by the uncertainty in her voice that she had talked with her husband. "You spoke with Mike?"

"Yes."

Rapp had to multitask. He had to get Maggie to see things from his perspective and he had to make sure he made it to his next meeting without the wrong person or group following him. Fortunately, he had grown up only a few miles from Langley and knew the winding residential streets as if he'd laid them out himself. It was the ideal terrain to detect surveillance. With all the parks and creeks there were a lot of dead-ends and if it turned out the FBI was following him he could always fall back on the fact that there were hundreds of foreign spies in Washington who would love to know what he was up to. Being security conscious, and aware of America's enemies, was a big part of his job. That was both his reality and his cover, but the sad fact was that he was now more worried about his own government following him than the Chinese or the Russians.

"Did he tell you we had a little problem this morning?"

"Yes."

"Maggie, I don't expect you to take any side other than your husband's, but I'd like you to hear me out on a few things."

"I'm listening."

"I care a great deal about you and the kids. I think of Mike as a brother. I'd risk my life to save him and he'd do the same for me." Rapp cut down Vincent Place and turned onto Elm Street two short blocks later. The truth was he had already risked his life to save him and Maggie knew it. "I'm worried about him."

Maggie sighed and emotion flooded her voice, "I don't know what happened between you two this morning... he wouldn't talk about it, but I do know he is extremely upset and because you guys live such a screwed-up life, and can't talk about anything that you do, I don't have the slightest idea how to help him."

Rapp turned on to Chain Bridge Road, relieved that Nash had at least informed her that there was a problem. "Maggie, I need you to listen to me and I need you to understand that this comes from the heart. I'm damaged goods. I'm good at my job and that's about it. I've given up on ever having a normal life. But-"

She cut him off, "Don't say that, Mitch."

"Please let me speak. If I don't say this right now I don't think I ever will. I see you and Mike and your kids and I see the life I could have had with Anna. I blew it. I thought I could do both. I thought I could keep the two lives separate. Continue to do all the stuff I'd done for a decade and half. All the nasty shit I can't talk about."

"Mitch, you can't blame yourself."

"Anna knew it, Maggie. She begged me to get out of the field, let a new crop of guys take the fight to the bad guys, and I told her I would, but I never did. I kept telling myself, one more operation. One more bad guy to take down. I made excuse after excuse. I even lied to her about the crap I was involved in because I knew she'd freak. I thought I could keep the two lives separate, and it was all a bunch of bullshit. And you know it, Maggie. I saw what you and the kids went through last year when he almost died, and then this crap last week..." Rapp's voice trailed off as he thought of their dead colleagues. In a remorseful tone, he said, "This is no business for a family man."

Maggie sighed. "You don't have to convince me."

"Good. Then here's what we're going to do."

"We... as in you and I?"

"Yes." Rapp checked his mirrors.

"Mitch, I love you and I respect what you do. I admire your courage. I admire Michael's courage and commitment to what he believes in, but I hate your jobs and Michael knows it. I have tried to get him to quit, and he has yet to listen to me. What makes you think this time is going to be different?"

"Because we're not going to give him a choice in the matter."

"So... what are you saying? Are you going to fire him?"

"No. The opposite. I'm going to promote him."

"To what? For all I know you've been promoted a dozen times and it hasn't changed a thing."

"This is going to be different. I'm going to do you a favor, Maggie. I'm going to give you and your kids the life you deserve."

"That sounds great, Mitch, but I still don't get how you're going to pull it off. He's not a quitter. You try to promote him out of the clandestine side of the business and he'll turn you down."

"I might need your help on this, but in the end he's not going to have any choice in the matter. You're just going to have to trust me. You know Gabriel Dickerson?"

"Of course I do. Everyone in D.C. knows who Gabriel Dickerson is." Maggie worked for a prominent PR firm in town.

"Did Mike by chance tell you anything about last week... what happened at the office?"

"You mean the attack?"

"Yes."

"Yeah... I mean we know Jessica died. We went to the funeral."

She was referring to Nash's assistant. "He didn't talk about any heroics?"

"No. He never talks about that stuff."

Rapp was relieved. At least Nash still knew how to keep his mouth shut. He began telling her a little bit about what her husband had done, leaving out his own part in the heroics and focusing on Nash. Then, in broad strokes, he told her about Dickerson's plan. That the CIA needed a hero. That America needed a hero. And then he fudged a bit and told her the president wanted to give Mike a medal. That he wanted to do it at a public ceremony at the White House and they wanted Maggie and the kids there. Her husband would finally be rewarded for his sacrifices and Maggie would no longer have to live the lie, because he would be outed. Rapp made her promise not to tell anyone, especially her husband.

"You know how these politicians work," Rapp warned her. "This morning they think this is a great idea. Dickerson is championing it for the president, but it's never a done deal until it actually happens."

"You don't have to tell me. I've been burned plenty of times."

Rapp could hear the hope in her voice. "Maggie, there's a lot of f*cked-up guys like me out there who don't have a family to take care of. Let them take their turn stepping into the breach. Mike's done his part. Go home... support him... make sure he gets some rest and don't breathe a word of this to him. You know him... if he gets wind of this he'll stop it dead in its tracks."