“Did you just do it for the buzz, after all?” Cassie cut in. “Did you want to see what it felt like to kill someone?”
“No! What are you—”
Sam moved round the table, surprisingly fast, and leaned in beside Damien. “The lads from the dig say George McMahon gave you hassle, just like he did everyone else, but you’re one of the few who never lost your temper with him. So what got you angry enough to kill a little girl who never did you any harm?”
Damien huddled wretchedly into his sweatshirt, his chin tucked into his neck, and shook his head. They had closed in too soon, too hard; they were losing him.
“Hey. Look at me.” Sam snapped his fingers in Damien’s face. “Do I look anything like your mammy?”
“What? No—” But the unexpectedness of it had caught him; his eyes, wild and miserable, had flicked back up.
“Well spotted. That’s because I’m not your mammy and this isn’t some little thing you can get out of by sulking. This is as serious as it gets. You lured an innocent little girl out of her house in the middle of the night, you hit her on the head, you suffocated her and watched while she died, you shoved a trowel up inside her”—Damien flinched violently—“and now you’re telling us you did it for no reason at all. Is that what you’re going to tell the judge? What kind of sentence do you think he’s going to give you?”
“You don’t get it!” Damien cried. His voice cracked like a thirteen-year-old’s.
“I know, I know we don’t, but I want to. Help me get it, Damien.” Cassie was leaning forward, holding both his hands in hers, forcing him to look at her.
“You don’t understand! An innocent little girl? Everyone thinks she was, Katy was like some saint, they always thought she was so perfect—it wasn’t like that! Just because she was a kid, that doesn’t mean she was—You wouldn’t believe me if I told you some of the stuff she did, you wouldn’t even believe me.”
“I will,” Cassie said, low and urgent. “Whatever you’re going to tell me, Damien, I’ve seen worse on this job. I’ll believe you. Try me.”
Damien’s face was red, suffused, and his hands were shaking in Cassie’s. “She used to get her dad mad at Rosalind and Jessica. Like all the time, they were always scared. She just made stuff up and told him—like Rosalind had been mean to her or Jessica had touched her stuff or something—it wasn’t even true, she just made it up, and he always just believed her. Rosalind tried to tell him this one time that it wasn’t true, she was trying to protect Jessica, but he just, he just…”
“What did he do?”
“He hit them!” Damien howled. His head shot up and his eyes, red-rimmed and blazing, locked on to Cassie’s. “He beat them up! He broke Rosalind’s skull with a poker, he threw Jessica into a wall and she broke her arm, he, Jesus, he did it to them, and Katy, she was watching and she laughed!” He ripped his hands out of Cassie’s and swiped tears away furiously with the back of his wrist. He was gasping for breath.
“Do you mean Jonathan Devlin was having sexual intercourse with his daughters?” Cassie said calmly. Her eyes were huge.
“Yes. Yes. He did it to all of them. Katy…” Damien’s face contorted. “Katy liked it. How sick is that? How can anyone…? That was why she was his favorite. He hated Rosalind because she…didn’t want to….” He bit the back of his hand and cried.
I realized I had been holding my breath for so long I was light-headed; realized, too, that there was a chance I might throw up. I leaned against the cool glass and concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly. Sam found a tissue and passed it to Damien.
Unless I was even stupider than I had already proven myself to be, Damien believed every word he was saying. Why not? We see worse in the papers every other week, raped toddlers, children starving in basements, babies’ limbs ripped off. As their private mythology grew to fill more and more of his mind, why not the evil sister keeping Cinderella in the dust?
And, though this is by no means an easy thing to admit, I wanted to believe it, too. For a moment I almost could. It made such perfect sense; it explained and excused so much, almost everything. But, unlike Damien, I had seen the medical records, the post-mortem report. Jessica had broken that arm falling off a jungle gym in full view of fifty witnesses, Rosalind had never had a fractured skull; Katy had died a virgin. Something like a cold sweat crawled across my shoulders, light and spreading.
Damien blew his nose. “It can’t have been easy for Rosalind to tell you this,” Cassie said gently. “That was pretty brave of her. Had she tried to tell anyone else?”
He shook his head. “He always said if she told he’d kill her. I was the first person she ever trusted enough to tell.” There was something like wonder in his voice, wonder and pride, and under the tears and snot and redness his face lit up with a faint, awed radiance. He looked, for a second, like some young knight setting off in search of the Holy Grail.
“And when did she tell you?” Sam asked.
“Sort of in pieces. Like you said, it was hard for her. She didn’t say anything till like May….” Damien flushed an even deeper red. “When we stayed in that B&B. We were, um, we were kissing? And I tried to touch her…her chest. Rosalind got sort of mad and pushed me away and said she wasn’t like that, and I was I guess kind of surprised—I hadn’t expected it to be that big of a deal, you know? We’d been going out for like a month—I mean, I know that didn’t give me any right to…but…Anyway I was just startled, but Rosalind got all worried that I was mad at her. So she…she told me what her dad had been doing to her. To explain why she’d got so freaked out.”
“And what did you say?” Cassie asked.
“I said she should move out! I wanted us to get a flat together, we could’ve got the money—I had this dig coming up and Rosalind could’ve got modeling jobs, this guy from a really big model agency had spotted her and he kept saying she could be a supermodel, only her father wouldn’t let her…. I didn’t want her to ever go back to that house. But Rosalind wouldn’t. She said she wouldn’t leave Jessica. Can you imagine what kind of person it takes to do that? She went back to that just to protect her sister. I’ve never known anyone that brave.”
If he had been just a couple of years older, the story would have sent him lunging for the phone to ring the police, Childline, anyone. But he was only nineteen; adults were still bossy aliens who didn’t understand, to be told nothing because they would charge in and ruin everything. It had probably never even occurred to him to ask for help.
“She even said…” Damien looked away. He was tearing up again. I thought, vindictively, that he was going to be in big trouble in jail if he kept bawling at the drop of a hat. “She told me she might never be able to, to make love with me. Because of the bad associations. She didn’t know if she could ever trust anyone that much. So she said, if I wanted to break up with her and find a normal girlfriend—she actually said that, normal—then she’d understand. The only thing she asked for was, if I was going to go, I should go right away, before she started to care too much about me….”
“But you didn’t want to do that,” Cassie said softly.
“Course not,” Damien said simply. “I love her.” There was something in his face, some reckless and consuming purity that, believe it or not, I envied.
Sam gave him another tissue. “There’s only one thing I don’t understand,” he said, an easy, soothing rumble. “You wanted to protect Rosalind—that’s fair enough, sure, any man would have felt the same. But why get rid of Katy? Why not Jonathan? I’d have been going after him, myself.”
“I said that, too,” Damien said, and then stopped, his mouth open, as if he had said something incriminating. Cassie and Sam looked blandly back at him and waited.
“Um,” he said, after a moment. “See, this one night Rosalind’s stomach was hurting and finally I got it out of her—she didn’t want to tell me, but he’d…he’d punched her in the stomach. Like four times. Just because Katy told him Rosalind wouldn’t let her change the channel to watch some ballet thing on TV—and it wasn’t even true, she would’ve changed it if Katy had asked…. I just—I couldn’t stand it any more. I was thinking about it every night, what she was going through, I couldn’t sleep—I couldn’t just let it keep happening!”
He took a breath, got his voice back under control. Cassie and Sam nodded understandingly.
“I said, um, I said, ‘I’m gonna kill him.’ Rosalind…she couldn’t believe I would really do that for her. And yeah, I guess I was sort of—not joking, but like not totally serious about actually doing it. I’d never even thought about doing anything like that in my whole life. But when I saw how much it meant to her that I would even say it—nobody had ever tried to protect her before…. She was almost crying, and she’s not the kind of girl who cries, she’s a really strong person.”
“I’m sure she is,” Cassie said. “So why didn’t you go after Jonathan Devlin, once you’d got your head round the idea?”
“See, if he died”—Damien leaned forward, hands gesturing anxiously—“their mother wouldn’t be able to look after them, because of money and because I think she’s kind of spacey or something? They’d be sent to homes and they’d be split up, Rosalind wouldn’t be there to take care of Jessica any more—and Jessica needs her, she’s so messed up she can’t do anything, Rosalind has to do her homework for her and stuff. And Katy—I mean, Katy would have gone and done the exact same thing to somebody else. If only Katy wasn’t there, they’d all be fine! Their dad only, he only did stuff to them when Katy got him to. Rosalind said, and she felt so guilty about this—Jesus, she felt guilty!—sometimes she wished Katy had never been born….”
“And that gave you an idea,” Cassie said evenly. I could tell by the set of her mouth that she was so angry she could hardly speak. “You suggested killing Katy instead.”
“It was my idea,” Damien said quickly. “Rosalind had nothing to do with it. She didn’t even—At first she said no. She didn’t want me taking a risk like that for her. She’d survived it for years, she said, she could survive for six more, till Jessica was old enough to move out. But I couldn’t let her just stay! That time he fractured her skull, she was in the hospital for two months. She could have died.”
Suddenly I was furious, too, but not with Rosalind: with Damien, for being such a fucking cretin, such a perfect sucker, like some goofy cartoon character blundering obediently into the right place for the Acme anvil to drop on his head. I am of course fully aware of both the irony and the tedious psychological explanations of this reaction, but at the time all I could think of was slamming into the interview room and shoving Damien’s face into the medical reports: Do you see this, moron? Do you see a skull fracture anywhere here? Didn’t it even occur to you to ask to see the scar before you slaughtered a child for it?
“So you insisted,” Cassie said, “and, in the end, Rosalind somehow came round.”
This time Damien caught the biting edge. “That was because of Jessica! Rosalind didn’t mind what happened to her, but Jessica—Rosalind was worried she was going to have a nervous breakdown or something. She didn’t think Jessica could take six more years!”
“But Katy wouldn’t have been there for most of that time anyway,” Sam said. “She was about to go to ballet school, in London. By now she would have been gone. Didn’t you know that?”
Damien almost howled, “No! I said that, I asked—you don’t understand…. She didn’t care about being a dancer. She just liked everyone making a fuss of her. In that school, where she wouldn’t have been anything special—she’d have dropped out by Christmas and come back home!”
Of all the things they had done to her, between them, this was the one that shocked me most profoundly. It was the diabolical expertise of it, the icy precision with which it targeted, annexed and defiled the one thing that had lain at Katy Devlin’s heart. I thought of Simone’s deep quiet voice in the echoing dance studio: Sérieuse. In all my career I had never felt the presence of evil as I felt it then: strong and rancid-sweet in the air, curling invisible tendrils up the table legs, nosing with obscene delicacy at sleeves and throats. The hairs rose on the back of my neck.
“So it was self-defense,” Cassie said, after a silence in which Damien fidgeted anxiously and she and Sam didn’t look at him.
Damien leaped on this. “Yes. Exactly. I mean, we wouldn’t even have thought of it if there’d have been any other way.”
“I understand. And you know, Damien, it’s happened before: wives snapping and killing abusive husbands, stuff like that. Juries understand, too.”
“Yeah?” He looked up at her with huge, hopeful eyes.
“Course. Once they hear what Rosalind went through…I wouldn’t worry too much about her. OK?”
“I just don’t want her to get in any trouble.”
“Then you’re doing the right thing by telling us all the details. OK?”
Damien sighed, a small, tired sigh with something like relief in it. “OK.”
“Well done,” Cassie said. “So let’s keep going. When did you decide on this?”
“Like July. The middle of July.”
“And when did you set the date?”