“It’s quite a story,” Ben said. “Very affecting to hear it from a firsthand source. Thank you for sharing that,” he told Mary.
Caroline nodded in agreement and turned to Ben. He always seemed to know just what people wanted to hear, and his face matched his words: brows slightly furrowed in thought, lips slightly curved in gratitude. But these women didn’t know his eyes, the way Caroline did. In his eyes she could see that he wasn’t here at all. In his eyes she could see his gears whirring.
“Don’t forget that it’s your story, too,” Lisbeth said. “That’s why we three are sitting up here.” She pointed to Mary and Mrs. White. “We’re all descended from the Winter Families, just like you.”
“I only married into one,” Mary Stanton said. She raised her shoulders in humility.
“Well, maybe next time you should save me a seat up there,” Caroline said.
The ladies, both those seated at the table and the ones in the pews, turned to look at her. It had been a joke, but she hadn’t quite gotten the tone right.
“We’re so grateful to be invited to this. I absolutely would love to come again,” Ben said. He put a hand on Caroline’s leg. “And I can see that the Crofts is a really important part of your history. We’re in the middle of fixing her up, but as soon as she’s in better shape we’d be honored to have you all up there.”
“Might take you up on that,” a woman seated in front of them said. She shifted her gaze back to Caroline before facing forward again.
“Yes, we’re all excited to see the Crofts back to being a home,” Lisbeth said. “And who better to—oh, now who’s this?” she asked.
Everyone turned, but this time it was not to stare at Caroline. When she looked, she saw Charlie standing in the church’s doorway.
“Can this be Charlie?” Lisbeth asked. Ben waved for him to come forward. “This is the Tierneys’ eldest son,” she said.
Charlie made his way toward their pew. He looked wary under the gaze of those eyes. As he got closer, the women stood to greet him. They patted his head and put their hands on his cheeks. The ladies had cooed over Bub, but Charlie had them transfixed. He was a handsome boy, with that combination of dark hair and light eyes that some people find so arresting, but Caroline had never before seen people so taken with him.
After a few minutes of this, Charlie began to look uncomfortable. Ben was too occupied talking with Lisbeth to notice. Caroline put a hand on his shoulder.
“I think it’s time for Bub’s nap,” Caroline told Ben. She clutched the boy through his BabyBj?rn as if this were the only thing that prevented him from crying.
“He does look spent,” Ben said. He turned back to Lisbeth. “We should get going, but thank you again for inviting us. When’s the next meeting?”
As Ben got his answer, someone tugged on Caroline’s shirt from behind. She turned around to see Mrs. White beaming up at her with her wizened face.
“My dear, you are so beautiful, and so are your sons,” she said, her voice as brittle as dried leaves.
“Oh, thank you,” Caroline said. The first genuine smile of the day.
“The Crofts used to have the most beautiful gardens. Mine’s not so grand, but many of my plantings trace their ancestry back to the originals from the Swanns’ gardens.”
“Mrs. White is being modest,” Mary Stanton chimed in. “Her herb garden is the finest in the county. You ever have a problem, she can sort out anything from headaches to sleeplessness with her teas and tinctures.”
“Really, how interesting,” Caroline said. She’d planned to plant an herb garden at the Crofts so that the kitchen could use the freshest seasonings. Restoring the gardens with descendants from the original plantings would contribute a nice sense of authenticity and make good copy on the website and brochures. “I’d love to see it sometime.”
“And I would love to show it to you,” Mrs. White said. Smile still on her face, she turned to walk haltingly from the church.
At Caroline’s side, Charlie was tugging on her hand. Bub lolled against her chest. She turned to Ben, who was still talking with Lisbeth. Whatever flutter of happiness Caroline had allowed herself to feel from the pleasant exchange with Mrs. White died at sight of him. Her husband’s eyes sparkled, and his teeth gleamed through an easy smile. The indictment lay in the fact that it had been months since she’d seen his real smile. The one he used with her was fragile, the look in his eyes laced with fear and weariness. To see him use that smile so freely with strangers while withholding it from her—it made her feel utterly sunk.
“Ben, would you unlock the car?” she called over her shoulder. She tried to pitch her voice in a way that made it sound casual. She tried not to blink for fear that the tears that had suddenly sprung to her eyes would overflow. Used to be that years passed without her shedding tears, but they now turned in a daily performance. No wonder Ben’s eyes didn’t light up at the sight of her. She had changed on him as much as he had changed on her. Perhaps even more so.
“It was good to meet you, Caroline,” Lisbeth called after her.
Caroline had already fastened Bub into his car seat by the time Ben caught up to them. She waved a fly away from her face. When she closed the door, she saw a swarm of them undulating over a dead raccoon, whose flattened body lay on the far the side of the road.
“That was interesting, wasn’t it?” Ben asked her. “It’s nice that people are starting to warm up to us.”
“I guess so.”
He smiled at her with a terrible facsimile of his real smile, but his eyes had that faraway look that told her that her husband was somewhere else entirely, thinking of things that had nothing to do with her.
They pulled out of the parking lot, and the dead raccoon was on Caroline’s side of the car. The flies surged away from the body as the car drew near, but Caroline knew they’d be back.
12