There was no one there. Almost running she dived back into Mat’s bedroom and looked round. ‘Tom!’ This time it was a sob. Retracing her steps at a run she plunged through the first two empty attics to the third and last, the one with an end window overlooking the courtyard. ‘Tom!’ But there was no one there and no answer save the single panicked sound of the bee against the window. Walking slowly back through the empty shadowy rooms she went over to the small window and forced it open, watching the bee soar with sudden palpable joy up into the sunshine. There were tears on her cheeks, she realised, tears pouring down her face. Her throat was tight and her heart thudded unevenly under her ribs. ‘Georgie, is that you? Where are you? Sammy? Is it you?’
Unsteadily she made her way back through the Grants’ bedroom to the top of the staircase, peering down, trying to see through her tears. ‘Tom? Where are you?’ Sobbing she sat down on the top step as her strength drained from her. She was shaking, exhausted and terribly afraid.
‘Joss?’ It was Mat, peering up from the landing. ‘Is that you?’ He took the stairs two at a time. ‘Joss, what is it? What’s the matter?’
‘Tom.’ She was shaking so much she could hardly speak.
‘Tom?’ He frowned. ‘What about Tom? He’s down in the kitchen with Lyn.’
Joss was clasping her knees; raising her head she stared at him. ‘He’s all right?’
‘He’s all right, Joss.’ He stared at her, searching her face for a clue to her behaviour. Sitting down on the step next to her he put his arm round her shoulders. ‘What is it, Joss?’
She shook her head, sniffing. ‘I couldn’t find him – ’
‘He’s OK. Honestly.’ He hugged her then he stood up and reached down for her hand. ‘Come on, we’ll go and see him.’
She looked up at him, pushing her hair out of her eyes, aware suddenly of how she must look. ‘I’m sorry, Mat. I’m so tired – ’
‘I know.’ His grin was so like Luke’s it tugged at her heart strings. ‘That’s babies for you, I guess. Not enough sleep.’
She nodded, climbing wearily to her feet. ‘Don’t say anything. Please.’
‘Scout’s honour.’ He raised two parallel fingers to his forehead. ‘On one condition. You have a sleep this afternoon. A proper one, letting us take care of the kids so there is nothing to wake you, nothing to worry you. Agreed?’
‘Agreed.’ She let him take her hand and guide her down the stairs, feeling a little foolish as, following him into the kitchen she found a room full of people, noise and laughter and at the centre of all the activity an unconcerned Tom, kneeling up on a kitchen chair drawing with large plastic crayons on a huge sheet of paper.
‘There you are, Joss.’ Lyn looked up from the work top where she was chopping onions. Her eyes were streaming. Pushing her hair out of her eyes with the back of her wrist she grinned. ‘We couldn’t think where you’d got to.’
She looked too cheerful, almost frenetic.
‘Where’s Luke?’ Joss asked. He was the only one missing from the cheerful gathering.
‘He went out to have a word with Jimbo,’ Lyn said turning back to her onions. ‘Then he’s coming in for lunch. Are you going to feed Ned first?’
Joss nodded. She could see the baby asleep in the pram by the dresser. He seemed able to sleep through any amount of noise at the moment and for that fact she gave a quiet vote of thanks. ‘Sit down, Joss.’ Mat guided her by the shoulders to a chair. ‘I was just telling Joss that she needs to rest,’ he said firmly as she collapsed into it. ‘I think this afternoon the doting grandparents and uncles and godfathers should remove the junior Grants from the premises and allow their mum to have a really good sleep.’
‘First-rate idea.’ Geoffrey smiled. ‘You do look washed out, Joss my dear.’
Washed out, she thought much later as she climbed the stairs to the bedroom. I suppose that’s one word for it. She felt almost sorry for the others. In spite of the heat they felt duty bound she suspected to go for that one last walk before setting off in their various directions. The Grants to Oxford – Mat was spending another couple of days with his parents before setting off back north – David and her parents to London. In some ways she was glad they were going. Having so many people in the house was exhausting; but in other ways she was sorry. While they were there, there were people to keep an eye on the children, people to create noise – critical mass – within a large house, drowning out the other sounds, the sounds that came from the silence.