chapter 45
ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA
NASH homed in on the tennis ball hanging from the rafters of the garage like an F-18 pilot focusing on a rain-swept carrier deck. The garage was designed for two cars, but not two cars, three bikes, a couple of strollers, an old trike, scooters, razors, skateboards, and every stick and ball known to mankind. The tennis ball kissed the windshield and Nash threw the gearshift into park. Safe in my garage, he thought. Maybe I'll just stay here the rest of the night. But as much as he'd like to just check out for a few days, he wanted to see the kids.
He climbed out and went around and got the groceries out of the back. At the back door he set one bag down and checked the handle. It was unlocked. His blood started to boil. He'd told the whole damn family a hundred times that the doors were always to be locked. He opened the door and carried the groceries through the mudroom and into the kitchen, where he found his ten-year-old son sitting a mere foot from the TV eating a bowl of cereal. Nash set the groceries down and went back to the mudroom, where he closed and locked the door and then opened his pistol safe. He pulled the black paddle holster and gun off his hip and stuck it in the safe.
By the time he got back to the kitchen his fourteen-year-old daughter, Shannon, was waiting for him with Charlie in her arms. She looked just like her mother. Beautiful ivory skin with thick, shiny black hair. "Hi, Dad."
Nash kissed her on the cheek and asked her how her day was. Rather than answer him, she extended her arms and handed him Charlie. "Mom was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago. I'm late for play practice."
Just like that, she was gone with her backpack out the mudroom door.
Nash looked into the smiling eyes of young Charlie and from across the room heard, "I think he has a bomb in his pants."
Nash looked over at the ten-year-old, who was glued to the TV. Reluctantly, he turned Charlie around and sniffed his backside. With a sour face, Nash said, "Oh God, that stinks."
"I told you," the ten-year-old said after downing another spoonful of cereal.
"Your mother teach you how to change a diaper yet?"
"Nope" - Jack shook his head - "that's women's work."
Nash wanted to laugh, but resisted the urge. "You better not let your mother hear you say that."
Jack slowly turned toward his father, his mouth half open. "Who do you think I got that line from?"
"Doesn't matter. You're ten. You talk like that around your mother, and you're likely to get your butt swatted." Then under his breath he said, "And I'll really get in trouble."
"I learned it from you, Dad."
Nash carried Charlie through the kitchen and as he passed, his ten-year-old mumbled, "I'm surrounded by traitors." He continued into the living room and set Charlie down on the floor. Kneeling next to him, he grabbed some wet wipes and a fresh diaper from the bookshelf. Charlie lay on his back with his feet up making motorboat noises with his lips. Nash laughed at his little tuft of fine blond hair. Other than that, he was pretty much bald. Nash got everything ready and then went in. He unsnapped the inseam on the kid's bib overalls and undid the old diaper. A heinous mix of rotten vegetables and diarrhea wafted out from under the freed diaper.
Nash turned his head away and snatched a breath of fresh air. "Now, this is torture." He looked back down at Charlie and said, "What are they feeding you, little buddy? This is horrible." Turning his head back toward the kitchen, he yelled, "Jack, get in here."
A moment later the sandy haired, flat-topped ten-year-old appeared. "Yeah, Dad?"
Nash finished wiping all the crevices and then rolled the old diaper up tight and sealed it. "Throw this in the diaper pail." He saw his son's apprehension and added a "please" for good measure. His wife claimed the kids would be more open to helping out if everyone around the house was a little more polite. Nash countered that he'd gotten a lot of shit done in the Marine Corps, and so did his men, and no one ever said please to anyone. Maggie countered that he was no longer a Marine, nor were any of their kids.
Nash held out the softball-sized diaper.
The ten-year-old held his ground. "You're three weeks behind on my allowance."
"Yeah... well, you're ten years behind on rent, so unless you want to end up sleeping in the diaper pail, get your butt moving."
The kid lifted his Boston Celtics jersey over his nose and mouth and grabbed the diaper with two fingers like it was a hunk of radioactive waste. The smell still lingered, so Nash decided to give Charlie a bath. He carried him into the mudroom and started to fill the laundry tub. Jack came back in from his trip to the garage as his father was sticking the stopper in the bottom of the tub.
"How was school today?"
"Good... how's your back?"
"Better, thank you."
"And your melon." Jack pointed at his own head.
Nash smiled. Jack was the family comedian. "The melon is okay today. Not great, but okay. Did you have a test today?"
"Quiz."
"How'd you do?"
"Twenty-five out of twenty-five."
"Congrats," Nash said as he added some soap to the water. "Did you finish your homework?"
"When was the last time I didn't do my homework the minute I got home from school? It's your other son you need to worry about... the troglodyte."
Nash gave his third child a hard stare. "That's a big word for a ten-year-old." He set Charlie in the tub. "Do you even know what it means?"
Jack started dancing around like an ape. With his jaw stuck out, he said, "Caveman."
With a fatherly look of disapproval he grabbed a washcloth for the baby. Rory, the second child, struggled in school, but excelled in sports. He was thirteen and a half and on the verge of shaving. "Jack, let me give you a little advice. Don't say that to your brother."
"He calls me girlie boy all the time."
"That's what older brothers do."
"I don't do it to Charlie."
Nash looked down at the one-year-old, who was happily splashing away and sucking on the soapy washcloth. Looking back at Jack, he said, "Go ahead. Call him a girlie boy, if it'll make you feel better."
Jack smiled, got close to the tub, and said, "Girlie boy. Charlie, you're a little girlie boy."
Charlie looked up at his older brother and let loose an ear-splitting squeal. They all started laughing and Jack tried it again. Nash reached out, put his arm around Jack, and kissed him on the top of the head. "I'll talk to him, Jack, but you have to remember, Rory's going through a tough time right now. School isn't as easy for him as it is for you."
"So... I'd rather be good at sports like him."
"Buddy, you haven't even hit puberty yet."
"Rory was good at everything. Even before puberty."
"We all have our God-given gifts, son. I was a good athlete, and right now I'd rather have your brains than my brawn."
Just then, Maggie walked in the door, her hair pulled back in a high ponytail. She looked lovingly at her husband with his arm around her third child and the soapy head of her baby just barely visible over the top edge of the laundry tub.
"Oh... isn't this a nice picture? Look at Daddy and his little helper and my precious baby."
Charlie had been preoccupied with something beneath the waterline, but when he heard his mother's voice, his big brown eyes darted up to find the most important person in his world. A huge smile spread across his face and his little fingers reached out for the edge of the tub. He grabbed ahold of the lip and with considerable effort pulled himself to his full height of twenty-seven inches, and blurted out the word that he had so proudly yelled nearly twelve hours earlier while eating his breakfast.
Maggie froze, Nash tried not to laugh and Jack blurted out, "I swear I didn't teach him that word." Neither parent responded, so he added, "I bet it was Rory."
"It was your mother," Nash said with no lack of joy.
Maggie snapped at her husband, "Like you don't walk around here swearing all the time."
"Jack," Nash said, "who swears more, me or Mommy?"
Jack looked back and forth between his two parents and then proved just how smart he was by darting past his father and into the kitchen. "No way am I getting in the middle of this," he yelled over his shoulder.
Maggie defiantly folded her arms across her chest and stared at her husband. "I'm sure he's heard you say it before."
Nash nodded, dipped a hand into the soapy water, and came up with the washcloth. He started wiping down Charlie's backside. "You do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better about this one, princess."
Charlie looked up at his mother. The happy look was gone, replaced by a look that mirrored the concerned look of his mother. In a much softer voice this time he muttered the word that was causing his mother's distress. Nash couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing.
Maggie, trying to hold her neutral expression, said, "Michael, you have to ignore him."
Charlie smiled at his dad and repeated the word two more times. Nash began laughing harder. Charlie reacted with equal vigor and started throwing the word out in quick repeated bursts. Nash completely lost it, and started howling.
"Stop it!" Maggie yelled at him. "All you're doing is reinforcing his behavior."
Nash tried to stop, but it only made it worse. Maggie, not thinking that any of it was funny, whacked her husband across the shoulder and yelled, "Goddammit, Michael, this isn't funny."
Charlie suddenly stopped saying the word. He looked up at his mother and then his father, the dark brown orbs that dominated his eyes growing seemingly larger. He zeroed in on his mother's less-than-happy expression, and then the bottom lip started to tremble, the big brown eyes filled with tears, and then it all came pouring out.
"No, honey," Maggie said in a soothing voice. "Mommy and Daddy love each other."
"Most of the time," Nash said under his breath.
Maggie craned her head around and shot him a look that caused him to cover his groin with his dry hand. Charlie was now wailing. Maggie stroked his cheek with the back of her hand and said, "Look... Mommy and Daddy love each other. Look up here, honey."
Maggie cupped her left hand around her husband's neck and pulled him close. Nash kept his family jewels covered on the off chance she was luring him in for a knee to the groin. Maggie laid a big exaggerated kiss on her husband replete with sound effects. She turned back to Charlie, who was still crying, and said, "See, Mommy and Daddy love each other." He was still crying so she went back to kissing her husband.
Nash decided she wasn't going to hurt him, so he joined in with gusto. Ten seconds later the two were still locked in a passionate kiss that was suddenly much more than acting. Nash's hands began to wander over his wife's body, and he pulled her in close. Charlie slowly stopped crying, but they kept going. Maggie reached her hand down below his belt and gave him a soft squeeze.
She moved her lips away from his and offered her cheek. "It appears everything is working just fine down there."
Nash nodded enthusiastically. "Let's go upstairs."
"You're going to have to wait."
Nash let out a long groan. "I love you," he moaned.
"I love you too."
Charlie began to giggle and smile.
"That's right," Maggie said. "Mommy and Daddy love each other."
Charlie said the word again, although this time in a soft and sensitive voice.
Nash looked down at him and said, "That's right, buddy."
Maggie finally broke down and started laughing. "You are horrible."
"I know."
"How was your day?" she asked with a touch of concern.
"It was interesting?"
"But you can't talk about it."
"No."
She stiffened a little. The happy moment was gone and the stress of his job was back in the happy little home. "Just promise me you'll tell me yourself. I don't want to wake up one morning and read it in the paper."
Nash kissed her forehead. "I promise."