He nodded and brought it out with a sigh. He shook his head and let out an exasperated breath of air.
“No reception.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!”
I walked over to him and brought the phone over to my face. It said No Service across the top. Well, thank you, AT&T.
“We’ll just keep trying it. There’s got to be reception somewhere. It worked fine near the campsite.”
He shook his head. “I never got a signal this whole time.”
“You haven’t tried to call Jenn or anything?”
You know, to check up on the baby, I thought rather viciously.
“I tried. I said never got a signal.”
“Oh, well I am so glad you put the only working phone on that fucking boat over there!” I said, throwing my arm in the sailboat’s direction.
“Hey, this is not my fault!” he yelled right back at me. “I wouldn’t have to put the phone over there if you could get your damn little head out of the clouds and start focusing on what’s really important.”
My jaw dropped. “Excuse me?! You think I don’t know what’s important? I thought having a phone, a connection to the outside world, was a pretty fucking important thing! Looks like I was right!”
He gave me a dismissive wave. “I can’t stand here arguing about this. I’m going to find the pontoon–slashing motherfuckers who did this to us and then we’ll figure out what to do.”
He walked off into the forest. I felt like picking up the nearest rock and chucking it at him, much like I chucked that container of Mr. Noodles.
I looked behind me at the boat and made a silent prayer that the ropes and anchor would hold out. The clanking of the chains could be heard amongst the weather’s roar and made me think some decrepit sea creature was deep below it, holding on with a lazy grasp. That boat was our only way out. If the weather calmed down and if we made it through till the next day without being ambushed or starting a knife party, maybe one of us could swim out. Though, knowing firsthand how cold that water was, it would be the last resort.
Dex was already way down the trail and nearing the turn off that went across the island when I caught up with him. The asswipe didn’t even bother slowing down or waiting for me. Good to know when there were potential crazies on the island with us.
I followed behind him, not bothering to say anything. We made it through the dead part (the dead heart) without incident, though I could tell we were both extra paranoid knowing we had more than animals to worry about.
Back at the campsite Dex worked quickly to find the flare gun and the hunting knife. I thought that the knife was purely for kitchen use but Dex was a bit more prepared than I was. He had grabbed the flare gun from the boat’s emergency kit as well when we first left the boat.
“So you thought we’d need it?” I asked him as he gave it the once–over and stuck it in his pocket.
“You never know,” he said matter–of–factly and placed the hunting knife in my hand. “This is for you. I suggest we split up.”
I was speechless. I looked down at the knife in my hand, the glinty steel which that matched the glinty ocean that crashed around us. There was seriously something wrong with Dex. There was no way in hell we were splitting up on this island. Didn’t he care at all about my wellbeing? Didn’t he see what happened the last time he had left me? I nearly drowned.
“I think you’ve lost your mind,” I said quietly. “I can’t even begin to explain why I think that.”
“I’d give you the gun if I thought you knew how to use it.”
“Actually, I do know how,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ve taken shooting lessons. With real guns too. And I’m a good shot. It doesn’t matter. We aren’t splitting up. Even if you try to lose me, I’m going to be right behind you. And if you don’t like that, you can just waste that flare on me!”
I spat out those last words like it was crushed up Aspirin.
His eyes softened for a moment. Maybe he was starting to get it. “Don’t be like that.”
“Don’t be like what?” I growled. “I’m pissed off that you would even suggest I go off there alone with a knife to protect me from who knows what. Pissed off and actually a bit hurt. Because it’s nice to know you give a shit about my life. Seriously!”
There was something weird happening between us. I didn’t know what it was. I felt like it had been building up for the last past couple of days, some strange animosity or an overload of tension or something. Being here on the island was only making it worse. I know I felt angrier and more uncontrollable than usual these last past few days and he was acting a bit more callous as well.
I wanted to keep staring at him with fire and intensity, but I had to relent and relax. The minute I did so, he did too. Maybe it was a girl thing, but I knew when I felt vulnerable, he often stepped up as the protector. Sometimes it didn’t work but at least this time it seemed to.
He took a step towards me and pulled me into him. He wrapped his arms around me, the scratchy fabric of our jackets creating a vibrating sound as they rubbed against each other. I put my arms around his waist, careful with the knife in my hand, and rested my cheek against his chest. He put his chin on top of my head and sighed, long and controlled.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, his voice gruff but sincere.
“It’s OK.”
He still held me against him. I listened to his heart rate, which was slowing down from a frantic dance.
“I don’t mean to be such a dick. I don’t know what it is. I just…this place. It’s everything. It’s Jenn. It’s this weather. This island. Whatever the fuck is going on. It’s you...”
“Me?” I asked, keeping my head on him, enjoying the comfort and the warmth.
“Yeah,” he said after a moment of silence. “There’s something about you…I don’t know what. You’re acting out a bit. But it’s not you. It’s hard to explain.”
I pulled back and looked up at him. His lips were so close to mine. I was afraid of what I might to do to them if we continued to stand like this.
He took my face in his comforting hands and gazed at me, closer, deeper. My heart started to jump around sporadically, my nerves were on fire. I loved and hated it at the same time. I hated what he was doing to me, but I loved him. I hated my feelings, but…I loved him. I hated that he could just look at me like that and I couldn’t think of anything else.
“I’m still me,” I said heavily.
“I know. But you know you’re acting…spazzier than normal.”
“Can you blame me?” I whispered, too aware of how close our mouths were.
“No. I can’t,” he said. The pressure of his fingers was firm on my cheeks. “I’m worried that it’s this place. That there is something here. Like there’s been something everywhere we go. You went for a bloody swim earlier. Now we don’t know what it was out there – what you saw – but it almost killed you and I can’t let that…situation…happen again.”
“So you wanted us to split up…” I leaned in closer.
“I’m sorry. I’m not thinking properly. No. Of course I don’t want us to split up. If we had, I would have come running after you within seconds. I’m not like that. I’m really not. I have your back, OK? Don’t forget that. I won’t let you.”
I nodded slightly. But for some reason I wasn’t entirely convinced.
With his thumbs he wiped off smudges of mascara underneath my eyes and gave me a small, almost pained smile. “I won’t do anything crazy, don’t worry. I just want us to be armed if anything happens. We won’t go all Kato on these people, if we even find them. I just want to know what we are dealing with.”
I nodded. My cheeks felt so warm in his hands. It made me realize how my exposed skin was continuously frozen for the past 24 hours.
He stared at me for a bit longer. His eyes were fathomless, a mix of too many things I wanted – needed – to read into. It was unbearable. Our distance hadn’t changed. I didn’t know what he wanted. If he was going to kiss me, then god damn it, just kiss me. Do it before I do it. I was too impulsive.
Maybe he read that thought because his face came an inch closer to mine. The space between us was disappearing, and fast. Heat radiated from his lips and neck. My eyes drooped lustily, ready to close, and my insides pulsed vibrantly.
And then there was a flinch in his eyes. A hesitation. He pulled back and took his arms off of me. The spell was broken.
“Shall we get going?” he asked casually, as if nothing had just happened.
Nothing had just happened but something almost happened and that spoke volumes, but he pretended not to notice. Maybe it was all in my head.
I flashed him a quick, brave smile that I willed to be as nonchalant as he was feeling and we walked off into the woods once more. I tried to leave the awkwardness behind.