I felt him shuffle closer and put his hand on my face, feeling my cheekbones. “Oh, shit. I didn’t know where you went. One second you were beside me and the next I saw this light, so I went over to investigate it and you were gone. I swear, I only took two steps away from you and then I lost you. I didn’t know it would be so dark. I used my flashlight, but I couldn’t see shit.”
He was talking fast, his voice brimming with fear. “And I heard someone scream and I knew it must have been you. I’m so sorry. Are you hurt?”
He moved his hand up to my forehead and brushed my hair off of my face. It was at that moment that I noticed the wind wasn’t as intense anymore. The storm seemed to be passing. I could even make out the outline of Dex’s face, which was a major relief since I was still afraid of something else.
“Just my hip. And my sanity.”
He breathed out slowly. I saw his shoulders fall. He took his hand away from my face and gingerly placed it on my shoulder. My skin felt cold without his hand there.
“What happened?” he asked, his voice so low it was barely audible.
“Can we go home?” I couldn’t function like a rational human being out here. I felt like the wires in my brain had short-circuited and fried themselves.
“Of course.” He got to his knees and gently helped me up to mine. “Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?”
I laughed despite myself. “You wouldn’t make it more than five feet without dropping me. I’m fine.”
He hoisted his camera onto his shoulder—I suppose I may have damaged it when I ran into him, but I honestly didn’t give a shit—and grabbed the crook of my arm with his other hand.
We walked quickly, raggedly, back toward the house. For the second time in a week, I felt like Uncle Al’s place was the most wonderful sight on Earth.
CHAPTER TEN
The house was empty when we came back in. It was only ten p.m. at this point, but it looked like the boys had gone out somewhere. It was Saturday night, after all.
Even Uncle Al was presumed missing until I found a note he left on the kitchen table: “Gone to play poker at a friend’s house.”
I was absolutely exhausted. Saturday night or not, and all I could think about was going to bed and sleeping for the next couple of days. Only there were a few things we had to deal with first.
Dex and I stood in the dim kitchen looking at each other. It was kind of awkward. Neither of us knew what to do or what to say. I felt like if I tried I would break down in tears. I was bordered with crazy town.
Dex sighed. “Well, I guess I should be going.”
“What? You can’t go!” I couldn’t help but cry out.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s ten. I’ve still got to check in to the motel.”
He couldn’t just leave me alone in this house after everything that happened. I felt the floodgates opening. I turned around and faced the fridge, trying not to blink and trying to control my breath. Dex was the last person I wanted to break down in front of. I wished I had a safety pin in my pocket so I could distract myself with a touch of pain.
“Hey,” I heard him whisper and come closer. I waited for him to put his hand on my shoulder, but he didn’t. He just stood behind me, probably unsure of what to do, which was every man’s response whenever a girl was crying.
But I wasn’t crying. I was desperately trying to not let that happen. I sucked in my breath through pursed lips and regained control of my teasing tears. I was a tough cookie. I just had to suck it up.
I turned around and looked at him. I smiled what must have been a very brave but very fake smile. I knew my eyes were moist and fearful, not matching up with my grin at all.
He was staring at me, not looking as confused as I thought he might be, but curious.
“OK,” I said. “You go check in. We’ll meet in the morning and head back to Portland.”
He took another step closer, those relentless eyes searching mine for something, anything, that would satisfy him.
“Is that what you want?” he asked.
No. It wasn’t.
“I’m sorry I ruined your show, Dex,” I said meekly.
He stared at the ground for a second and shook his head. “You shouldn’t apologize. It’s not very becoming of you.”
He looked up. “Besides, it’s not my show. It’s our show. Everything isn’t lost yet, kiddo.”
Everything isn’t lost yet. Where had I heard that before?
“Say that again?”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
I could see that he didn’t believe it was nothing, but he let it slide. He looked around.
“Do you want me to stay here tonight?” he asked. There was no hesitation in his voice.
Of course, I wanted him to stay. I would have asked anyone to stay.
“This will sound stupid,” I began, “but do you mind staying until Uncle Al or the twins get home? You can just hang out here, watch whatever you like, play video games. I’ll go to sleep in the other room. I just don’t want to be alone right now.”
He nodded. “Sure.”
I felt bad for asking and for preventing him from checking in. “I’m sorry, it’s just...I can’t even begin to explain what I saw out there. I—”
He took a step towards me, shaking his head. “Don’t. Don’t explain. I want to hear it, but we can discuss it in the morning. And please don’t apologize either. That’s a weakness, not a strength. I don’t need your apology. In fact, none of this would have happened if I hadn’t left your side, so I’m the one who is sorry.”
“Dex, it was dark—”
“And so, anyway, you can see why I don’t mind having to stay here for a few hours.”
“OK,” I smiled. The relief that was pouring through my body was amazing. “Thank you,” I said starting towards the spare room, “and good night.”
“I’ll be here if you need anything,” he called after me.
I paused at the door to the room before closing it behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know that he was still there.
***
The next morning finally arrived after waves of dreamless sleep. I say dreamless because I didn’t remember anything appearing in my dreams but that didn’t mean my mind wasn’t running in a half-delirious, half-asleep state the entire night. Despite being so tired that my body literally could not move an inch once I lay down on the bed, my mind still raced on in a horrific rampage. Flashes of the night, the lamps, the face, the trees, the sweater, the woman on the phone—it all kept swirling through my brain. I had so many questions. Nothing made any sense, which is probably why my brain was still trying to process it at three a.m., even when I wasn’t consciously giving it an ounce of thought.
Needless to say, I did not feel rested at all the next morning. Especially when I woke up to the sound of rain on the roof and a heavy chill in the air. I wished getting out of bed wasn’t an option.
But I had places to go (home, to be precise), though every time I thought about stepping into the warmth and security of my house and seeing my family’s faces, I also had the accompanying feeling of guilt.
Ah yes, me and my guilt. I felt horribly guilty for packing up and leaving this place without accomplishing a single thing. True, I managed to scare the shit out of myself but that would have only been something if I had my camera with me. We would be heading back to Portland knowing the entire weekend was a waste. Worse yet, I felt like it made me look bad and it made my sister’s blog look bad. Who would believe me now that I wasn’t even able to go into the lighthouse again? I had told the world what we were doing and now there was absolutely nothing to show for it. I was going to look like the biggest fool on earth. Not only me, but Dex too.
After I washed up and put on the barest traces of makeup, I stepped into my only other pair of clothes, which happened to be my comfiest: big socks, tapered black yoga pants, a thick, red, long-sleeve tunic, and a wide studded belt. I knew I looked like I was going to a rock concert in the middle of winter but I didn’t care. I just hoped my Docs were dry enough to wear after they had been so waterlogged. It was nice to care about normal things.
I padded my way into the kitchen to see Uncle Al eating cereal at the table. He looked up and smiled.
“Morning! Want some breakfast?”
I shook my head and sat down.
“You look tired. Did you not sleep well?” He sounded concerned.
“I thought I did, but probably not,” I said, then eyed the coffee pot in the corner.
Al followed my eye and got up. “Stay there, I’ll get this in you stat! You are just as bad as me when it comes to coffee, Perry.”
I smiled gratefully. “Was Dex still here when you came in last night?”
“Yes,” he said while pouring me a cup of that gorgeous dark liquid. “He was sitting here and writing in some notebook. He said he didn’t want to leave you with no one else at home.”
He raised his eyebrow over that last sentence. “I suppose that was quite gentlemanly of him. Still think there is something strange about the fellow.”