“Perry! It’s Dex.” He sounded a lot more enthusiastic now.
“Hi...Dex? Listen—”
“So, Perry. It is Perry, right? I couldn’t remember what you told me in the lighthouse but that’s who your little blog posts were attributed to.”
Uh-oh. The blog. Dex was in my blog. I hope that it wasn’t about that…
“You found the blog?”
He laughed, albeit rather sarcastically. “Kiddo, who hasn’t found your blog?”
I started feeling ill. “Look, I’m sorry, I was just filling in for my sister and I had nothing interesting to write about.”
“You mean to tell me you’re not a narcissistic fashion blogger? I’m liking you better already. I might almost forgive you for publishing that footage of me on fucking YouTube.”
He nearly yelled that last word. I cringed. I was in shit.
“Look, I didn’t say who you were, and you can barely even tell who is in the shot most of the time. I mean, you told me to turn my camera on, so I did, and there’s no law against that.” I was rambling.
“Did it occur to you that there was a reason I gave you my business card?” He sighed.
“Not really. You just ended up leaving me in there at the end anyway,” I replied, now feeling anger rising in my throat. Come to think of it, how dare he call me and give me shit. It gave me clarity. “And let me remind you again, as you seem to have forgotten, but you were trespassing on my family’s property, so actually, you should be glad I’m not turning your stupid shoddy business card over to the police.”
Silence on the line. It gave my heart enough time to slow down by a few beats.
“Fair enough,” he finally said.
“Yeah,” I said. “Well… so, is that what you wanted? To call me and get mad that you were somewhat featured in the video I posted? Or was it that I shot some footage that you would have loved to have had yourself for your little…ghost club…or whatever the hell it is you do again.”
I could have sworn I heard him stroke his facial hair over the line.
“That was pretty much the gist of it,” he replied.
So much for my high expectations. He was just some guy that was annoyed that I made him look stupid in front of the entire world (or whatever miniscule portion of the world that had watched the video and read the blog), and annoyed that I cockblocked his chances of using the footage for financial gain.
“But that wasn’t all…” he added.
“Well?” I asked, still vexed but also curious. Maybe he was asking me out on a date? My heart started to pump faster again. I was such a girl.
“I’m a producer for Shownet.com. You heard of us?”
“Only from your business card,” I said truthfully.
“We produce webisodes. Webcasts. You know, on the internet.”
“Yes, I’ve heard of this internet before,” I said. The sarcasm just slipped out.
“Perfect. That will make things easier,” Dex replied, sliding over my snark. “Shownet at the moment is airing Wine Babes on Thursday nights, which you should watch tonight, by the way, as well as Gamer Room, Dude Zone, Cooking with Colleen, and Amanda Panda’s Animal Friends. You heard of any of them?”
“No. Should I have?”
“Probably not. Anyway, see…I’ve been dabbling in this and that, here and there, and I decided I should maybe jump in on this ghost bandwagon. The main thing I wanted to do though was have it run a little differently. There are tons of those shiteous shows on TV, run by tards who are running around with these cameras and having these geeked-out experiences that in the end amount to nothing more than their own ineptitude and inflated sense of self. You following?”
“Not really.”
“And so that’s what I was doing at your uncle’s place. No one had done any shows there yet.”
“That’s because he wouldn’t allow anyone,” I pointed out.
“Which is why I had to be sort of sneaky about it. Thank you, by the way, for not blowing my cover. I had thanked you already, hadn’t I?”
“No,” I said.
“Ah, well anyway, I thought I would get a leg up on these other shows, shoot some shit and show it to my boss, hoping he’d see some potential in all of it.”
Pause.
“And?” I prompted him. “Did he?”
“No,” he sighed. “He didn’t. However, he did like what you did.”
“What I did?”
“OK, he liked the idea of the two of us doing that. Together.”
A naughty idea flashed through my head. “And what is that, exactly?”
“You’re not secretly blonde are you?”
Now it was my turn to sigh. This phone call was confusing as hell and I could tell my mom had been listening to it for the last five minutes because the workout DVD had been turned off. I had an idea what Dex was hinting at, but his aggravating way of getting around to it was throwing my mind into a tizzy.
“Mr. Foray,” I said as professionally as possible, “you called me wanting to talk me about something. Get to the point.”
I have to point out that I am neither A) this ballsy on the phone with people I didn’t really know or B) this rude, but there was something about Dex, perhaps it was the way we met, that made me feel like I didn’t really care how I was coming across.
“Based on the footage I shot, based on the footage you shot—which, by the way, you wouldn’t have shot had I not told you to—and based on the way your writing so eloquently told the story when the images could not, I think we could actually have a real show here.”
“You think or your boss thinks?”
“Either or; it doesn’t matter.”
It did matter, but I didn’t want to question it anymore, lest I screw up my chances of whatever this was. I didn’t want to think too deeply into it, though with my mind that was more or less impossible. I could feel my subconscious jumping to a million fantastic conclusions. It was really hard to keep the voices at bay and concentrate on the cold, hard facts.
“What do you do again? Are you a host on this Shownet?” I asked.
“Fuck no. Excuse my language, but fuck no. I’m just the producer and cameraman. And composer. I’m entirely behind the scenes, which is why I need a person like you to be in front.”
“Me?”
“Yes. As I was saying, you’re real and you’re very personable. Charming, some might say. I wouldn’t because I don’t even know you, but we’ll find out. Your on-camera presence is bold; at least the stuff I have on my end is. And your writing doesn’t suck. Have you ever done acting before?”
Technically I hadn’t. Stuntwoman training didn’t involve any acting and I’m sure my homemade movies from my youth didn’t count either.
“No.”
“Good. That’s better. That means you aren’t a bullshitter. I hate bullshitters; you can never bullshit them. So you’re a natural, which is perfect because people want to see natural fear. They don’t want the Hollywood treatment. And your writing is the perfect companion. It shines some sort of clarity on a subject that most people don’t understand.”
“To be honest, I don’t understand it myself.”
“That’s OK. Honesty is good. Understanding is overrated. But this show won’t be overrated because it’s coming out of the dark and sneaking up on people until—”
Click.
Did the phone just go dead?
“Hello?” I asked. Silence. Did he just hang up on me?
I looked over and saw my mom hanging around the doorway to the kitchen with a quizzical look on her face. No denying now that she was totally listening.
“Hello, Dex?”
Click.
“Yeah, hi, sorry, someone on the other line,” his voice coming in low and husky. “Jimmy Kwan, you heard of him? Doesn’t matter, you haven’t. But he’s the one who started up Shownet back in 2004 and the first person to really take a chance on me. My boss. But now he’s on the other line and wants to know what Perry Palomino thinks of all this. What say you?”
I took a deep breath.
“I have to admit, I don’t really know what’s going on here,” I told him carefully. “I mean, you haven’t really come out and said anything. I just got a message to call you and, so, here I am.”