She looked up at him, her gaze not focusing on his face. “Thank you.”
His bushy mustache twitched over yellowed teeth into a smile. “Sure. Anything for my girl.”
He sat on the edge of the bed, took her hand in his as he had a thousand times before and waited silently until her breathing slowed and the tension eased from her brow.
Only when she’d fallen into a deep sleep did he rise and move to the door. His gaze lingered on her sleeping form; a long time before he shut off the light.
For so long he’d never questioned what he’d done all those years ago. However, age and time had stirred up doubts that haunted him. What if he’d made a terrible mistake?
April 1
I scare you, don’t I? I could see the way you slide me those looks when we meet in public. We don’t exchange a word, but there is fear in your eyes. Good.
A.
Chapter Eighteen
Thursday, October 20, 9:30 PM
The look in Deke’s eyes told Rachel she’d effectively jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He released the door handle and cupped her face in his hands. Slowly, he smoothed his thumb over her jawline. The touch sent a shock through her body.
He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.
Don’t be a fool!
Ignoring the warning, she relaxed into the kiss, savoring the sensual explosions. Her hand pressed to his chest and she realized this was the moment to choose. Jump or dive. Stop thinking and simply feel. She chose to dive into the emotions.
She fisted his shirt in her fingers and pulled him closer, allowing herself this purely carnal pleasure. He wrapped a strong arm around her and pressed her body against his. She arched into him as his hand trailed up under her shirt and cupped her breast. When he fingered her taut nipple she moaned.
He pulled back and stared into her gaze, searching.
She moistened swollen lips. “The bedroom is upstairs.”
His gaze darkened as she took him by the hand and led him to her bedroom. He kissed her as he backed her up toward the bed. When her legs bumped the edge of the mattress, he reached for the hem of her sweater and tugged it over her head. A dark smile curved the edges of his lips as he stared at round breasts swelling over lace cups.
He removed his shirt as she kicked off her shoes and loosened the side zipper on her pants. When the zipper released, the pants slid over smooth skin to pool around her ankles.
His chest bore several tattoos. Tribal markings covered a right bicep in a half sleeve. Latin words scripted across his lower belly read Veritas, justitia, Libertas and translated into truth, justice, and liberty. A thick scar slashed across his bicep. All told a story that stirred questions she’d likely never ask.
Naked, both kissed as he eased her to the bed. He smoothed a rough hand over her flat belly. “So soft,” he muttered.
She pushed against him encouraging him to explore. His eyes darkened as his hand traced under her small breasts. When he cupped her and his callouses rubbed the soft skin of her nipple she hissed in a breath. He loomed over and kissed her lips. She threaded trembling fingers through his short hair and arched into him.
Even as desires grew from embers to flames, the drumbeat of warnings sounded in her head. She didn’t know how to give and then walk away. But to expect more than this moment was begging for heartache.
The worries were drowned out by a new wash of desire as he settled between her legs.
The next few minutes were a haze of sensation as he touched her, kissed her bare skin, and coaxed her carefully veiled emotions into the light. She’d not allowed herself this kind of pleasure for a long, long time and realized she was half-starved for touch.
Rachel smoothed her hands over his muscled back, feeling him tense to her touch. When he entered her, she sucked in a breath as flesh expanded. He hesitated, watched her gaze, as she slowly adjusted to him.
“You okay?” he whispered.
She moistened her lips. Touched his face. Smiled. “Yes.”
He waited an extra beat, giving her one more instant to reconsider second thoughts, and then kissed her on the lips and began to move inside her.
As much as she wanted the desires to build and to know a release, she didn’t want to rush this moment. So much of her life was a rush, rush, rush from one crisis to another. No time to think. No time to feel. But not now. She wanted to feel and savor every moment.
His body snapped with tension as she wasn’t the only one familiar with deprivation. He moved faster and faster and despite her wish for a slow ride he swept her up along with him.
When climax overtook both of them, tears pooled in her eyes. So long since she’d felt any type of connection. He collapsed against her, his heart beating hard and fast. She closed her eyes, savoring the connection. She understood it wouldn’t last but she was used to temporary.
He rose up on an elbow, in no rush to break the skin-to-skin connection. He captured a tear with his thumb. “You all right?”
“Yes.” Her voice sounded hoarse and rough. She’d devoured him but knew she’d soon be hungry again.
“You’re upset.”
“No.” A winsome smile flickered and faltered. “Just overwhelmed.”
He smoothed his hand over her hair. He traced her jawline. “Really? I didn’t think that was possible.”
That enticed a throaty laugh. “It happens on rare occasions.”
He traced deepening worry lines in her forehead. “You don’t like to be overwhelmed.”
“I didn’t mind it.” A faint smile teased the edge of her lips. “But you better take a picture. Won’t happen again for a while.”
He stroked his hand over her collarbone. “Sounds like a challenge.”
“No challenge. Just a fact.” Again she couldn’t keep the candor silenced. “Moments like this are rare. As much as we want them to last, they don’t.”
“They do sometimes.”
“Not for me. Not for you.”
He traced his hand along her arm. “Maybe before, but now—”
“Don’t.” Just the implication of a promise was more than she could handle. Better to savor what was and not expect more.
A muscle flexed in his bicep. “Don’t what?”
“Make any promises.”
His marriage history rebutted any promises of tomorrows even before he could speak them. “Fair enough.”
She stared at him silently, savoring the warmth of his naked body against hers, not willing to dream beyond now.
He kissed her gently. “I like the way you challenge me. Not many people do that these days.”
She ran her tongue over her lips, savoring his taste. “I thought I annoyed the hell out of you.”
“You do. You can be a real problem. But I’m getting used to it.”
“I’m difficult. Hard to live with. I drive people away.”