I keep going. “Don’t ask me to send Jamil’s video, okay? Just don’t. Please.”
“All right.” He catches up and swings in front of me. “Can you stop walking for a second and talk to me?”
I shake my head and turn away as my eyes fill. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.”
I walk past him. “I’ll forward you all the texts. I can tell you content from the second video – the parts that have nothing to do with the shooting, in case it helps you track down a source.”
“That’s fine, Skye, but can you —”
“There’s something else, something that makes a lot more sense after today.” I tell him about the voices in the hall. “It’d be the same person, I’d guess. Using similar tech. If it happens again, I’ll find the speaker.”
“If it happens again, I hope you’ll text me immediately,” he says as he falls in beside me. “Since we’re apparently not talking about what you found at NHH, I’ll move on to the audiovisual part. It isn’t my area of expertise, but Chris might be able to help.”
“Right. He’s mentioned setting up systems for people. We can talk to him. But that doesn’t explain what I heard. I was in the bathroom stall, and two girls were talking about the petition – the petition that doesn’t exist. Then I heard the same conversation in the hall. How is that possible?”
“Do you know who the girls were?”
I shake my head.
“Was there anyone else in the bathroom at the time?”
“No, and that’s the problem. If no one else was there, who recorded it?”
He walks a little farther, and then says, “Other than that conversation, did you hear the girls in the bathroom say or do anything?”
“No…” I think it through. “Which could mean even those voices were recorded. Someone came in, played it, and then left.”
“Exactly.”
Mae texts shortly after that, and I jump at the excuse to leave, before Jesse tries to circle back to what I saw in the school. If I talk about that, I’ll break down. Jesse remembers a tougher girl, and I’m going to be that person for him.
I hold it together for Mae, too, retreating after dinner for homework. It’s only after sleep comes that my defenses drop, and I descend into nightmare.
The next morning, I manage to make it to school with plenty of coffee and concealer under my eyes.
It’s a quiet day. No notes. No voices. No calls to the office. No talks with Mr. Vaughn.
Tiffany needs me to do newspaper work at lunch, and then, after school, Jesse has his trainer over. He invites me to drop by in the evening, but I’m… I’m feeling off. Part of it is still finding my balance after yesterday. Part of it is the rough night. And part is, yes, that I’m worried I’m going to disappoint him.
I don’t cold-shoulder Jesse. I wouldn’t do that. He was there for me yesterday – really there for me – and this is my issue to work through. In math, I smile and chat. When I pass him in the halls, I give him another smile and a nod. When I tell him I can’t come by after his track session, I smile and make up some excuse about Mae wanting me home.
But I’m smiling. Always smiling. You’re fine. I’m fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.
He buys it, and that’s all that counts.
Jesse
Rejected. That’s how Jesse felt all day Wednesday, and it’s how he feels on the way to school Thursday morning. Like a guy who asks a girl out and everything seems fine, and then the next day, all he gets are fake smiles and excuses.
Not that he’s ever been in that situation. He’s had exactly two dates in his life… if you could call them dates. The girls in question probably wouldn’t. They were situations where a girl asked him to lunch, and he didn’t want to say no, because it took a lot of guts to ask. The girls were nice enough, so maybe if he got to know them better there’d be a click, and it’d turn into something more. Only it hadn’t.
Worse, it felt like the girls thought he only went out with them to be nice. Which he kinda had. He wouldn’t want a girl doing that to him. On the other hand, would he want her not giving him a shot, either?
Was it worse to have Skye refuse to give him a second chance after he was a jerk to her? Or to get that second chance… and blow it?
It doesn’t help that he can’t figure out how he blew it. Also, it doesn’t help that his whole analogy is crap. This isn’t getting rejected after asking a girl on a date. This feels bigger. So much bigger.
He did all the right things Tuesday at NHH. He’s sure of it. They’d argued over going into the school, but he’d stepped aside and let her, and she agreed he’d been right. They’d been fine until she admitted what she’d seen in there – with Luka – and he’d wanted to talk about it.
Was that the wrong thing to do? It seemed right.
All he knows for sure is that Skye is avoiding him, and he feels rejected, and he doesn’t know what he’s done.
Jesse takes a deep breath and texts her.
Him: lunch?
He holds his breath. Waits. Waits. Stares at the screen. Waits. It takes exactly three minutes for her to reply with:
Can’t. Need to proof & send paper.
I could join you.
I could bring you lunch.
I could just sit there and watch you edit.
Mmm, no, thanks for offering, Jesse, but maybe not. Also? That’s kinda creepy.
He’s staring at the screen, trying not to read too much into her answer, trying not to feel like she’s ducking him… when another text dings.
Skye: After school?
He exhales and sends back a thumbs-up, says he’ll see her in math, and puts his phone away.
Skye
It only takes ten minutes to proofread the school paper. I consider texting Jesse a quick: Hey, you still free for lunch? It’s what I want to do.
Instead, I text Tiffany to say the RivCol Times is officially published.
Her: Awesome! Haven’t even gone 2 lunch yet. Will come by & grab u.
I meet up with Tiffany and give her back the newspaper office key.
As we’re walking to the cafeteria, I catch a glimpse of a dark-haired boy, and my heart double-thuds as I realize how bad it’d look if Jesse saw me going to lunch with Tiffany. The boy isn’t Jesse, but I should let him know I was done early. When Tiffany stops to talk to someone, I quick-type the message.
Me: achievement unlocked! I have published my 1st newspaper!
My fingers hover over the Send button.
Hit it. Just hit it.
Still hovering.
Seriously? What is your problem? You think he’s going to find out you’ve changed and walk away… so you’ll push him away instead? Make him feel like he’s done something wrong?
That’s not fair.
I move my finger over the button again and —
“Okay, let’s…” Tiffany walks up beside me and looks at my screen. “Is that Jesse?”
I nod as I press Send and push the phone into my pocket.
She pulls back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. By the time I realized what I was reading” – she taps her temple – “it was already there.”
“I know you warned me about him.”
“Warned you about Chris, too. Which means I should probably not warn you about the guys who are real trouble.”
I tense. “If you’re implying I ‘went after’ the very guys you warned me against, Chris and Jesse were friends of mine from before.”
“I know. Sorry. Lame joke.” She hugs her books to her chest. “I’m not very good at them. Jokes, I mean. Not lame ones. I’m really good at lame ones. You’re right. I just… I know what it can be like, trying to rekindle friendships from before the —”
“Hey, Tiff, did you get my ad in the paper this week?”
It’s one of the seniors. When Tiffany stops to talk to him, Jesse comes around the corner. He has his hood up, earbuds in, as he weaves through the busy hall. Then he sees me.
He stops short. His gaze rises to the hall clock.
I take out my phone. My text is still there. Unsent.
I look up. Jesse’s walking the other way. I quickly interject with Tiffany and the senior – forgot something, gotta run, see you later.
I jog up beside Jesse and say, “The problem with text messages? People don’t respond if you fail to send them.”