After Anna

‘They already did, and they said they didn’t know.’

‘Well, was that the truth?’ Maggie dialed back her tone. ‘I just think of Jamie’s mother and how she must feel, not knowing how her daughter is.’

‘You don’t know Jamie’s mother.’ Anna scoffed. ‘Jamie’s a total Parker, just like I was. Her parents only come to Parents’ Weekend for show.’

‘Honey, I still don’t feel comfortable withholding that information. Why don’t we call PG or Connie and ask if one of them bought the bus ticket? If so, then she’ll know where Jamie went. If not, that’s the end of it.’

‘I don’t want to.’ Anna pursed her lips. ‘I don’t want to start calling those girls. Please don’t make me. PG and Connie weren’t friendly to me anyway. They’re mean girls, straight up.’ Anna’s eyes started to well up. ‘Mom, I really wish you hadn’t gone in my room. This is my business.’

Noah interjected, ‘Anna, what you’re saying would make sense if this was the only note, but it wasn’t. There were others.’

Maggie stiffened. Noah had just busted her.

Anna’s head swiveled to Maggie. ‘What’s he talking about? How does he know that?’

Maggie felt stricken. ‘I did find some other notes –’

‘What, did you search my room?’ Anna jumped to her feet, wounded. ‘Why would you do that?’

‘No, I didn’t search your room. I looked in your textbooks, concerned about Jamie.’

Noah interjected, ‘Anna, we weren’t born yesterday. You must know where Jamie is. I don’t believe that she kept it from you to give you deniability. So why don’t you just tell us, and we can call her parents.’

‘You’re accusing me of lying?’ Anna grabbed her backpack and purse, then edged toward the staircase.

Maggie stood up. ‘Noah, Anna, wait –’

‘Anna, hold on.’ Noah rose. ‘You wouldn’t be the first person who lied to protect a friend –’

‘I’m not lying, Noah! You didn’t want me here in the first place!’ Anna reached the staircase and started upstairs.

‘No, I just want you to tell the truth and I –’

‘You’re the liar, Noah!’ Anna called back, hurrying upstairs. ‘You’re the one who said you wanted me here and you don’t!’

Maggie went to the bottom of the stairs. ‘Anna, wait!’

‘I’m not the liar, Noah! You are!’ Anna yelled from the top of the stairs, before her bedroom door slammed close.





Chapter Forty-three


Noah, After

TRIAL, DAY 5

Noah sat on the witness stand next to the enlarged picture of Anna on an easel. Nobody would believe that such a fresh face concealed a ruthless, deceitful heart, especially Maggie. They had been in the family room after Anna had run upstairs, when they’d confronted her about her missing friend, Jamie.

You called her a liar, Noah! How could you do that?

Honey, I said she was lying, I did not call her a liar. There’s a difference.

No there’s not. And I don’t think she’s lying.

She knows where Jamie is.

You don’t know that.

Yes I do. I know when a kid’s lying, and she’s lying.

Noah, really? She’s my daughter, and what she said made sense. I should’ve thought of it before. Jamie didn’t tell her where she was going, on purpose.

To give her deniability? What teenager thinks like that? No way. You had her dead-to-rights with the notes.

Why did you tell her I found the other notes?

What’s the matter with that? She has to tell us where Jamie is. There’s a girl out there on the streets. You know bad things happen. We just lost Mike.

Noah, Jamie is not Mike. This is not about Mike.

I know that, Noah had said, finding himself in the confounding position of making the opposite argument he had made in their last argument. They’d been fighting so much he hadn’t been able to keep track.

I told you I would do the talking.

I let you. Noah hadn’t begun to understand how he and Maggie had gotten so far apart. He hadn’t been able to remember the last time they’d agreed on anything. Maggie, you have to think about Jamie. She’s missing.

She’s not missing, she ran away. It happens every day. It’s not Adam Walsh time.

Her parents don’t know where she is. To me, that’s missing. We should call the school and ask them for the contact information for Jamie’s parents. We could call Jamie’s parents and tell them – What? To call Anna? To give her a hard time?

Maggie, I’m not gonna pretend this didn’t happen. We could call the school and get Jamie’s information. Or PG and Connie’s. How hard can that be to figure out?

I’m not doing that.

Why not? Don’t you care about Jamie?

I care about Anna more, and so should you.

Any parent would be heartbroken if their kid went missing, even if she’d run away. Can you imagine?

Yes, Noah, I can imagine that just perfectly. Maggie’s eyes had brimmed with tears. Because I’ve been doing that for the past seventeen years, and if you keep this up, I’m going to lose her for good.

Babe, listen, Noah had reached out to her, but Maggie had pushed his hand away.

Noah, I don’t know who you are lately. When did you turn into such a control freak?

But for that, Noah had no answer, except one that was unsayable:

After Anna.





Chapter Forty-four


Maggie, Before

The morning dawned gray and chilly, and Maggie got out of her car at the Lenape Nature Preserve, breathing in fresh air. She hadn’t slept, and Noah hadn’t either, though they lay back to back, neither saying a word. Anna had fallen asleep in her room with her clothes on, and the sight of Anna’s lovely face, set in profile against the pillow, had reminded Maggie so much of when she was a little baby. The memory had come rushing back of how sweet Anna had been as an infant, and how Maggie used to watch her sleep, hanging on the crib rail and breathing in her powdery smells, listening to her soft breathing, realizing that her new baby was a miracle, belonging to her, made from her.

Maggie sank into a bench, wiping her eyes. She couldn’t fathom how everything had gone so wrong so fast. She spotted Kathy’s car on the road and felt as if the cavalry were on the way. Kathy honked hello as she pulled into the parking lot, and Maggie rose. Kathy parked, got out of the car, and gave Maggie a big hug.

‘That bad, eh?’ Kathy whispered, and Maggie smiled tearfully, letting her go.

‘Kath, on a scale of one to terrible, it was catastrophic.’

‘Oh no.’ Kathy put an arm around Maggie’s shoulder and guided her to the walking path. ‘Tell me everything.’

Maggie fell in step and filled Kathy in on everything that had happened during the fight with Anna, then the fight afterwards with Noah. It took her half the meadow to get the entire story out, and they were passed by a few runners.

‘Oh boy.’ Kathy sighed heavily. ‘I’m sorry it went so badly.’

‘She was so hurt. And Noah called her a liar.’ Maggie shook her head as they walked along. ‘And I don’t know what to do about Jamie.’

‘Here’s my brilliant idea, and I truly think this is a great compromise for you. Let’s say that Anna is not lying to you.’

‘Do you think she is?’

‘Honey, I don’t know for sure, and it truly doesn’t matter. You guys don’t call anybody. No kid that age is going to let you call the school or call anybody’s parents, and I doubt that the school will give you the parents’ contact information anyway.’

‘You’re right.’

‘But there has to be a way that Anna can get a message to Jamie and Anna should ask Jamie to call her parents.’

‘That’s not a bad idea.’

‘And you know what else? You guys need to start having fun. It’s supposed to be a nice weekend. Why don’t you go down the shore?’

‘But it’s only April.’

‘Who cares?’ Kathy smiled, chugging along the path. ‘You need a change of scenery. You’re in that house fussing all the time. You need to go somewhere different, where your roles aren’t set.’