“You need bodyguards?” Enzo asked.
“It’s a little complicated,” I said.
“Now I know why you and your friend can both work on being the brains of the outfit,” Enzo said.
“Don’t worry,” I said, and turned to Hickory and Dickory. “Guys, this is my new friend Enzo. Say hello.”
“Hello,” they said, in their deadly monotone.
“Uh,” Enzo said.
“They’re perfectly harmless unless they think you’re a threat to me,” I said.
“What happens then?” Enzo asked.
“I’m not really sure,” I said. “But I think it would involve you being turned into a large number of very small cubes.”
Enzo looked at me for a minute. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” he said. “But I’m a little afraid of you right now.”
I smiled at this. “Don’t be,” I said, and I took his hand, which seemed to surprise him. “I want us to be friends.”
There was an interesting play across Enzo’s face: pleasure at the fact I’d taken his hand, and apprehension that if he showed too much pleasure at the fact, he’d be summarily cubed. It was very cute. He was very cute.
As if on cue, Hickory audibly shifted its weight.
I sighed. “I need to talk to Hickory and Dickory,” I said, to Enzo. “Will you excuse me?”
“Sure,” Enzo said, and took his hand out of mine.
“Will I see you later?” I asked.
“I hope so,” Enzo said, and then got that look that said his brain was telling him he was being too enthusiastic. Shut up, stupid brain. Enthusiasm is a good thing. He backed off and went away. I watched him go a little.
Then I turned to Hickory and Dickory. “This had better be good,” I said.
“Who was that?” Hickory asked.
“That was Enzo,” I said. “Which I already told you. He’s a boy. A cute one, too.”
“Does he have impure intentions?” Hickory asked.
“What?” I said, slightly incredulous. “‘Impure intentions’? Are you serious? No. I’ve only known him for about twenty minutes. Even for a teenage boy, that would be a pretty quick ramp-up.”
“This is not what we have heard,” Hickory said.
“From whom?” I asked.
“From Major Perry,” Hickory said. “He said that he was once a teenage boy himself.”
“Oh, God,” I said. “Thank you so very much for the mental image of Dad as a teenage sack of hormones. That’s the sort of image that takes therapy to get rid of.”
“You have asked us to intercede for you with teenage boys before,” Hickory said.
“That was a special case,” I said. And it had been. Just before we left Huckleberry my parents had gone off on a planetary survey of Roanoke and I was given tacit permission to have a good-bye party for my friends, and Anil Rameesh had taken it upon himself to sneak into my bedroom and get naked, and upon discovery, to inform me that he was giving me his virginity as a good-bye gift. Well, he didn’t put it that way; he was trying to avoid mentioning the whole “virginity” aspect of it at all.
Regardless, this was a gift I really didn’t want, even though it was already unwrapped. I told Hickory and Dickory to escort him out; Anil responded by screaming, jumping out my window and down off the roof, and then running all the way home naked. Which was a sight. I had his clothes delivered home the next day.
Poor Anil. He wasn’t a bad person. Just deluded and hopeful.
“I will let you know if Enzo presents any problems,” I said. “Until then, you leave him alone.”
“As you wish,” Hickory said. I could tell it was not entirely pleased about this.
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” I asked.
“We have news for you from the Obin government,” Hickory said. “An invitation.”
“An invitation for what?” I asked.
“An invitation to visit our homeworld, and to tour our planets and colonies,” Hickory said. “You are now old enough to travel unaccompanied, and while all Obin have known of you since you were young, thanks to our recordings, there is a great desire among all Obin to meet you in person. Our government asks you if you will not accede to this request.”
“When?” I asked.
“Immediately,” Hickory said.
I looked at them both. “You’re asking me this now?” I said. “We’re less than two hours from departing to Roanoke.”
“We have only just now received the invitation,” Hickory said. “As soon as it was sent to us, we came to find you.”
“It couldn’t wait?” I asked.
“Our government wished to ask you before your journey to Roanoke began,” Hickory said. “Once you had established yourself on Roanoke, you might be hesitant to leave for such a significant amount of time.”
“How much time?” I asked.
“We have sent a proposed itinerary to your PDA,” Hickory said.
“I’m asking you,” I said.